Help!! Daddy Diva!

Dannij1214

It is so crazy... My Dad has turned out to be the one who is the Diva. He want to be the wedding planner, want me to keep my last name and want me to have the wedding in NY when i live in MD.  Help!! i need to give him a task so he will focus on that instead of on everything. 

kantonik

omg, I can relate....my dad doesn't want anything to do with planning it, but he hates feeling left out! Not that I'm leaving him out. My mom and I went to a bridal show and he got cranky that we weren't bringing him. And then started getting cranky when we told him we aren't doing tuxes or anything for the dads. (we'll just tell them what color suit to wear and get them ties) I just had to keep reminding him that his most important roles include walking me down the aisle and dancing with me. lol

But yeah, I know what you mean...I've definately had to give him things to do, or change the subject to keep his mind of this stuff! Definately was NOT expecting to stress over this type of stuff with my dad! lol

ElisabethJoanne

My dad's the "can I just write a check?" type. I know my parents nevertheless feel left out, but the reality is, I don't think they'd like most of wedding planning. How much fun can it be to write half a dozen e-mails saying, "Can the chicken not have any dairy ingredients?" "Please omit the bread rolls." "You said we'd get a proposal Friday. It's Monday, and I don't have it. Were you missing information you needed?" "If you want to tour the church, March 24 is a good date, while it's open for cleaning."? And entering proposals and estimates and contract prices into the budget spread sheet, and noting when additional insured endorsements are due to the venue (and knowing what an additional insured endorsement is)? I'm type-A and spreadsheet-happy, but all this is not a normal person's idea of fun.

end vent, sorry

Give him free rein with something you don't care much about, or something that's just a money issue. Like if you know what food you want, he just has to find the caterer that will do that food for the best price. Or if you know how many town cars/limos you need, again, just the best price. Or if you don't care about the dance music, he can write the playlist or hire the DJ.

Or do the passive-aggressive thing and ask him to help with those tasks I vented about. He'll realize it's not about flipping through pretty magazines, but kind of like starting a small business.

tiffanydaniels

my dad is all big on the cake, food and making sure we don' thave assigned seats!

bootsandgames

I can definitely relate. My dad has wanted to be involved in everything so far. At times it gets to be a little much but it's also been kind of helpful and fun. He went with me and my two girls in the wedding to find their bridesmaid dresses, has gone with me to start one of our registries and has been helpful in helping me plan out some of our DIY projects. (I think he's bored at home and needs something to keep him busy!) I thought I'd be annoyed at the help and taking him along for the different outings but he's had good advice and actually wasn't as overbearing as I thought he'd be. 

Do you have any DIY projects that you could ask your dad for help on? Are there vendor meetings he might want to go to? Maybe just sitting down with him with your list of stuff to do for the wedding might also be helpful. He could see everything that needs to be done and could take on some tasks for you and your FI. 

Hope everything works out!