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MOH WAS MIA

adalang2010adalang2010
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
I started planning my wedding over 8 months ago....

In may of 2009 i selected my MOH and bridesmaids.  SINCE the day i ask my friend to be MOH i have not heard one thing from her, EXCEPT when she forwards joke or emails......

she has not responded to any of my wedding emails and her phone number changed so i did not have a good number for her.

i posted on my Facebook page a comment the other day and out of NO WHERE there is the MOH posting a comment saying "am i still your MOH - I better be" 

by now i have sent her MANY emails asking her to respond.  i have already shopped for my wedding dress, bridesmaid dress, venue, the other bridemaids have planned the shower, etc...

basically what i am saying is that every thing is done....

i sent her an email explaining that i have not heard from her in 8 months and when she did not respond to any of my emails  that i had no choice but to ask my other good friend to step up from bridesmaid to MOH

am i wrong?? did i do the wrong thing??  i feel like i did the right thing i gave her many opportunities to respond, i have not heard from her in 8 months, she hasnt done a thing to help me .... and my wedding is in 2 months and now she steps up and wants the role of MOH.

Please give me your thoughts ....... Undecided
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Re: MOH WAS MIA

  • adalang2010adalang2010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    again i do not have a good phone number for her - she moved from the last known address and  she changed jobs... i no way of contacting her.OTHER THAN email.

    I sent MANY MANY EMAILS to her but never got a response.
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    She checks FB, so post on her wall asking for her phone number.   Maybe she changed her e-mail address and is too stupid to think that maybe she should give you the new one.
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  • ecsmilesecsmiles
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you did anything wrong, you tried your best to contact her.  Since she didn't respond to anything, and the wedding is two months away, I feel like she removed herself. 
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  • emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You do know that the only obligatin that a BM has to do is show up at the wedding wearing the chosen dress, right?  They do not have to run errands with you, or anything else.  Plus you've already asked her to be MOH so it's extremely rude to take that back.  Do not expect her to take the news well that she's been demoted.

    Is there something going on in her life that would be making her act this way?  Be a friend first, then a bride.  Obviously you two were close enough that you asked her to be your MOH, so you should feel close enough to ask her what's going on in her life.

    Ditto PP - you should try contacting her via FB.  Do not call her out publicly, just send her a message asking for her number so that you guys can chat (preferably in person.)
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  • krmabojokrmabojo
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you have tried every possible way to contact her, sent her e-mails and facebook messages and she has not responded... then IMO, get another MOH. that is just me. If something was going on in her life, you think she would have told you-considering she was your MOH you both are close.
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  • banditangelbanditangel
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you made a reasonable decision, if she really cared about being your maid of honor she should have atleast talked to you instead of ignoring all attempts to get in contact with her. There's no point expecting her to be there for you if she can't even reply to a message. I would do the exact same thing in your situation.
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  • jroseberjroseber member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you did anything wrong.  you shouldn't wait to plan stuff because she isn't willing to get involved.  But I would still talk to her about your concerns (if you ever get a chance)
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  • jacquikevjacquikev
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I dont think you did anything wrong as long as you were polite about it! Let her know that you thought she no longer wanted to be invovled because of her lack of contact. This must have been someone you were so close to that you asked her to be your MOH. Tell her that you still would like her to be apart and sorry for the miscommunication. If shes a good friend she wil lunderstand and everything will end up ok. 
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  • elyse.mikeelyse.mike
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I agree with PP's that you need to somehow get her number & address and speak with her at least over the phone. It sounds like she's either a total flake (in which case I'd think you would have considered that before asking her to be your MOH) or there was a very big miscommunication. Seeing as, generally speaking, most of our problems are rooted in poor communication . . I would chalk it up to that. I mean, she did ask about being your MOH, right? (albeit, somewhat nonchalnt) but that means she didn't forget. Someone said "be a friend first, then a bride" . . & she's right. Get your friend's contact info, call her & sort it out . .  before you demote (or "de-MOH" in this case) her.

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