Unsure what to do!

jwilli66

While I was growing up, my father was addicted to meth along with being inprisoned numerous times and being abusive. He has been an embarrassment to me my entire life and now he is married to a drug addict that has 5 children and one on the way, needless to say, i'm not fond of either on of them or their insane children. I saw my father literally skip his sister down the isle to be married by their father. It left her mortified and it would leave me the same way. I do not want to invite my father or his wife but this means i wouldn't be able to invite his side of the family because my father, who is an aggressive and beligerent person, who show up univited and make the worst scene ending in arrest of not only himself but more than likely my fiance and his father after they see to my father. I'm unsure as to what i should do. My step-father has been there for me since I was just ten years old and he has been a father figure to me. I want him to walk me down the aisle but yet again, i am just scared of my father's reaction. What should  I do? and may i add that i haven't spoken to my father in several months after he grabbed me by the throat in his front yard and he hates my finace and his family.

NOLABridesmaid

Wow! That's a woe.


I think you should move your wedding to a different city, and not invite his family. I would ask my stepdad to walk me down the aisle, and let my dad know that I'm praying for him.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_unsure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:4ce8f437-6f94-4211-ae9e-079d202e4d7aPost:4ff78219-d9fc-4a5e-8fa3-f391102c98af">Unsure what to do!</a>:
[QUOTE]While I was growing up, my father was addicted to meth along with being inprisoned numerous times and being abusive. He has been an embarrassment to me my entire life and now he is married to a drug addict that has 5 children and one on the way, needless to say, i'm not fond of either on of them or their insane children. I saw my father literally skip his sister down the isle to be married by their father. It left her mortified and it would leave me the same way. I do not want to invite my father or his wife but this means i wouldn't be able to invite his side of the family because my father, who is an aggressive and beligerent person, who show up univited and make the worst scene ending in arrest of not only himself but more than likely my fiance and his father after they see to my father.<strong> I'm unsure as to what i should do. My step-father has been there for me since I was just ten years old and he has been a father figure to me. I want him to walk me down the aisle</strong> but yet again, i am just scared of my father's reaction. What should  I do? and may i add that i haven't spoken to my father in several months after he grabbed me by the throat in his front yard and he hates my finace and his family.
Posted by jwilli66[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>cease contact with your dad, get a restraining order against him, and have your stepdad walk you down the aisle. you essentially answered your own question. </div><div>
</div>

*Barbie*

just because someone donated their sperm does not mean you should have any contact with said person.

HookaPants

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_unsure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:4ce8f437-6f94-4211-ae9e-079d202e4d7aPost:4ff78219-d9fc-4a5e-8fa3-f391102c98af">Unsure what to do!</a>:
[QUOTE]While I was growing up, my father was addicted to meth along with being inprisoned numerous times and being abusive. He has been an embarrassment to me my entire life and now he is married to a drug addict that has 5 children and one on the way, needless to say, i'm not fond of either on of them or their insane children. I saw my father literally skip his sister down the isle to be married by their father. It left her mortified and it would leave me the same way. I do not want to invite my father or his wife but this means i wouldn't be able to invite his side of the family because my father, who is an aggressive and beligerent person, who show up univited and make the worst scene ending in arrest of not only himself but more than likely my fiance and his father after they see to my father. I'm unsure as to what i should do. My step-father has been there for me since I was just ten years old and he has been a father figure to me. I want him to walk me down the aisle but yet again, i am just scared of my father's reaction. What should  I do? and may i add that i haven't spoken to my father in several months after he grabbed me by the throat in his front yard and he hates my finace and his family.
Posted by jwilli66[/QUOTE]



1. Hire security.
2. Why would your Fi and FIL be arrested?

jwilli66

Thank you all for the responses, and they would be arrested after seriously hurting my father. They both hate him very much and my father has threatened to kill them both before so if my father did show up they would do something to him causing them to be arrested.

baconsmom

I would invite your father's family if you want them there, and hire security. You absolutely have no obligation to have that man at your wedding. I don't understand why you would even still be in contact - I highly recommend cutting him off completely, and not re-establishing a relationship. Ever. Addicts never change; cut your losses now and focus on having a good relationship with the man who actually parented you. 

TheDuckis

You're projecting unnecessary drama by predicting what your FI and FIL would do if he showed up. Don't you think the story is bad enough without presumed violence from the "good guys"? Let's assume that they'd respect the sanctity of the occasion and ignore your father or calmly escort him off the premesis.

That said, there is no reason at all for you to even continue to keep contact with your father, let alone invite him or his family to your wedding. Stop talking to him, don't mention another word about the wedding, and don't invite that side of your family if you think word will get back to him.

DG1

If you truly think your FI and FIL would respond with violence, then perhaps you should be rethinking the whole thing. There are about 327 better ways to handle your father before resorting to arrest-worthy behavior.