iho secret credit card debt

hmonkey

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**O-Face**

We bought a house together before getting married, so our credit scores were well known.

NOLABridesmaid

I think this is up there with checking to see if you have the cooties.

It must be done, yo.

nicoleg1982

Credit score =/= credit report, Oface.  You can have a shitton of debt and have a great score.

MinM

H asked me how much cc debt I had and I asked him. We didn't pull reports...frankly, I don't know what his current credit score is. He may know mine, but that's only because it's awesome so I told him what it was. I know what his bills are and he knows what mine are. We keep things seperate, but are knowledgable about what is going on in the other person's accounts.

**O-Face**

Oh, it was pulled altogether, with all the debts we owe.  We both went into this with open eyes...H with his stellar credit history and mine with a little bit more dirt.

murmist01

We did not pull any credit reports, but we did sit down and discuss our debt and how we were going to pay it off, how we were going to change our investments and created a budget.

GBCK

yes.

but I should be SS.  And I'm aware it's side-eye-worthy

I had his because the Mr. had a bankruptcy shortly before and I needed to knwo that was handled.  

Which is why him being a repeated dumbass about money is such a sore subject with me.

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_iho-secret-credit-card-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7649462a-1393-40ff-b1ea-65c3de574a55Post:2a289585-3ca4-4bb6-b0dd-7466d5b6c119">Re: iho secret credit card debt</a>:
[QUOTE]We bought a house together before getting married, so our credit scores were well known.
Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto. Also, he started paying all my bills, so, you know. </div>

mrsconn23

We didn't pull reports, but we had a frank discussion about bills/debts before we moved in together and then again when we merged bank accounts.

nicoleg1982

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_iho-secret-credit-card-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7649462a-1393-40ff-b1ea-65c3de574a55Post:6146a11f-1427-4bb5-8aa1-7edd2254ed1e">Re: iho secret credit card debt</a>:
[QUOTE]Which is why him being a repeated dumbass about money is such a sore subject with me.
Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

<div>You shouldn't be too sore - couldn't you see the writing on the wall?</div>

hmonkey

i can't believe how many of you were satisfied with a discussion unless it involved printed statements and records.

GBCK

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_iho-secret-credit-card-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7649462a-1393-40ff-b1ea-65c3de574a55Post:df9dc495-b05e-493c-bd56-38a5faed03dc">Re: iho secret credit card debt</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: iho secret credit card debt : You shouldn't be too sore - couldn't you see the writing on the wall?
Posted by nicoleg1982[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, because NO ONE ever gets a fairly reasonable explanation (like medical issues and insurance and school and a healthy dose of young stupidity)  for something in their FI's past and an obvious attempt to improve one's self and says "oh, good, he's managed that and has been on the straight-and-narrow for over a year and is making kick-ass progress" ?</div><div>
</div><div>For Cereal, do you just look for anything in my posts that is a bit of an open wound to try to poke at?  </div><div>
</div><div>I should have seen writing on the wall.  I didn't--not because he intentionally screwed me over so much as he's got a blind spot about $ the size of a small mountain.  I'd still marry the man but I'd have made the $ thing get handled differently if I did it over again.  And I'm handing it now.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

MinM

We decided that we would be responsible for our respective cc debt, so I didn't need to see his records. Aside from affecting the interest rate on a house or car we will never buy, his cc debt has little to do with me.

NOLABridesmaid

I'll go back to my cooties comment. Anybody can say they don't have cooties, but I need that in writing, please?

I think credit reports should be pulled, and divorce decrees produced.

You know what I'm saying.

NOLABridesmaid

I don't think that debt is a dealbreaker 100%, but you have to be actively cleaning that up for me to continue into long term status with you.

People are stupid and do stupid things, but you need to have learned from your mistakes, taking steps to pay it down, and NEVER make the same mistakes with money again.

If not, then it's a no go.

**O-Face**

NOLA, I was all "hee" about the divorce statement, then thought of how many women show up saying "I *JUST* found out my FI is still marrieeeddd wahhhh!!!1!!".

NOLABridesmaid

O, you know it. There are a lot of dumb people out here that *think* they are divorced, and aren't. I need proof.

NOLABridesmaid

Yeah, I know people that had horrible credit in the mid 500's, and now are in the high 700's. You can get it up with time.

**O-Face**

Oh man, and to actually believe your FI when he says he didn't know?  What.

nicoleg1982

However, AIDS/herpes is forever.

tawillers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_iho-secret-credit-card-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7649462a-1393-40ff-b1ea-65c3de574a55Post:637cd47a-4d3a-4a7b-9dc7-9b5158980d71">Re: iho secret credit card debt</a>:
[QUOTE]We didn't pull reports, but we had a frank discussion about bills/debts before we moved in together and then again when we merged bank accounts.
Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

Same here.  Except we did it all backwards.  We got a joint account before we lived together, way before we got married or even engaged.

Cant_wait!

I'm going to put this in the "pro" column for marrying super young: My H didn't have any debt. He didn't have any credit at all, actually.

zsazsa-stl

No reports, but we had many money discussions and knew where we each sat.  I don't think it's a bad idea, though.

TheDuckis

I think we were up in each other's financial business enough that we generally knew what we were getting into. I helped him do his taxes, he lent me money for a couple of phone bills when we'd done $300 worth of talking to each other without noticing. We also both bought homes early in the relationship. We discussed pulling reports, but never got around to it. Same way we always meant to write a prenup. We're generally pretty responsible, but very lazy.

hmonkey

[QUOTE]those are gifts that keep on giving.
Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]

and sometimes they collect interest.

6fsn

We talked finances, but never pulled reports.  We pull reports every year, but haven't pulled scores since we bought this house.