Future Step Mother in Law Vent
Lately I have been vocal to my FI and his immediate family that I hope that his step mother does not attend out wedding.
She is an alcoholic. She has been to rehab multiple times and has been hospitalized (when they can't afford rehab) a lot too, and yet she can't stay sober. She was hospitalized earlier this month and I figured she wouldn't come to my shower this coming weekend. Well she got out of the hospital, rsvp'd to my shower, and later hit a parked car while driving because she took too much medication (prescribed for her disease). Then I find out she's back in the hospital because she overdosed on medication so I don't expect her at my shower, which is fine.
My main concern is that FI's dad lets her come with him to family events even when she is drunk. I've seen her stumble and fall, choke on her own throw up (although she tried to hide it), and slur her words to the point where she doesn't make sense. The day FI and I got engaged, we were at a family event, and she was drunk. She said she was so happy for us and cried drunk tears, and then completely forgot that she saw us that day. I'm super worried that FI's dad won't make her stay at home for our wedding if he can't keep her home for other important family events.
I have to say that I've never seen her take a drink of alcohol. She shows up already drunk every time. So telling the bar staff not to serve her won't work. She is a decent person when she's sober and she's sober for a good portion of the year. But I'm really afraid of her humiliating me in front of my relatives, who are conservative and don't drink at all. This kind of behavior would horrify them and it would embarrass me.
Obviously I can't tell FI's dad to keep her at home if she's been drinking. FI has been silent about the issue so far and I don't want to go behind his back and talk to his dad alone. I guess I should just wait until the wedding is closer to see what condition she's in and then talk to FI. But it changes all the time.