Pros/Cons of kids at the wedding??

rvansteenberg

We're stuck on whether or not we want to have kids at the wedding. At first we were thinking nobody under the age of 13, but now we're not sure. I don't really want screaming babies or other distractions during our vows. Is that mean to tell guests they can't bring their kids..?

Should we allow kids? Should we set an age limit?

I need feedback, helppp?

littlemoments324

This has some controversy to it on the boards...but here is my opinion on the topic:

1.  You cannot pick and choose which children to invite and which ones not to.  You invite one family you invite all.  However, I have an exception to this.  We are only inviting our close family and friends children (i.e. our 1st cousins only and that is it)  There will only be 3 of them that are younger than 8.  Other than that, I say you can't pick and choose...regardless if you're close to them or not.

2. You can invite only the flower girl(s) and ring bearer(s). 

3.  If a family says: "Well, I'm not coming if the kids aren't invited either."  Your response: "Well, I am sorry to hear that.  But due to budget constraints the wedding is adult only"

3.  You can put an age limit.  I've seen 16 and older on invitations.  I don't see why you can't put 13 and older.

As for the invites, I would put Adult Only Reception to be held at ?o'clock.  or 13 and older Reception to be held at ?o'clock. 

One way to do your RSVP cards is to print out the individual names on the cards.  For example:

Mr. Jack Jack
Mrs. Jane Jack
Miss Jenni Jack
Mr. John Jack

or

Peter Brady
Marcia Brady

We are using this because it is going to not let the people have an option to bring their children or a guest.  We're on a strict budget and this is just how it has to be. 

Are you going to have the ceremony in a church?  If so, most churches have cry rooms.  If not, I either say don't worry about it because some of those things are what make your wedding memorable.  But adult only is okay too.

rvansteenberg

Thanks for the feedback! It's hard making this decision.

fancieface

How many people are you planning to invite to your wedding? I'm only having about 60 people and we decided sincet our kids will be there and so will our nieces and nephews. I only have 1 family who are neighbors who are going and their kids will not be invited. Its well understood and its ok with them, So I don't really have that dilemma. But for larger weddings I'm not sure how to go.  I would base it on the family dynamic and probably invite in circles. Its tough ...how many kids are you considering inviting and what are their age groups?

rvansteenberg

We will have around 100-125 guests, as of our guest list right now.
Most of the kids are on his side of the family and I love them all to death and they all love me. (i'm usually the 'babysitter' at get togethers) It's just that they don't understand what a wedding is, being the youngest are only 4 right now.

I think we will probably end up inviting the kids because we want family there. I just don't want the issue of being picked at and pulled on by them at my wedding, you know?

MaggieEngaged

Personally, I can't imagine my wedding without my adorable little nephew and other young family members. One idea that we like is having a kids' table at the reception, where they can have fun things like a paper tablecloth with crayons, arts and crafts, and kid-friendly foods. As for the ceremony, you could always encourage parents to bring coloring books, or even provide children's programs with little pictures to color or word finds. Remember that if the youngest is 4 right now, then they will be 5-6 at the time of the wedding: school age. Kindergarten will already be training them to be able to sit for longer periods of time and listen to instructions.

If you really feel like having kids along would kill the mood of your wedding, that's absolutely fine too. It's YOUR wedding, never forget that. Some people might be offended if their children aren't invited, but if they really want to be a part of your special day, they'll find a sitter. If anything, talk it over with some of the parents on your guest list and get their input.

Best of wishes and happy holidays!

bblouin

we are having kids at the wedding.  Mainly because it would cut out a huge portion of my fiance's cousins if we left kids out and we felt like that would not be right.  We are making kids baskets to help entertain them with coloring books and things, they have those crayola markers that only color on specific paper so they wont get any on table linen.  I also have a special needs cousin who will be in the bridal party and I do a lot of work with special needs so we felt like we could not invite special needs and notkids.  Everyone is welcome, but I agree with the infant thing, I would not want infants either.