dealing with people that just make you nuts!

rachelp123

 so i am wondering why my sister has become obsessed with losing a ton of weight before my wedding. she has been married for 15yrs. geez. we also have an age difference, i am the younger one. i just feel like she cant deal with any attention on me and not her and she is using the weight as an attention getter.plus she is trying to tell me how to eat right when i have eatten right for years. im like who r u and are u even my sister. do u not even know me to know how i eat. hello.....

SteveandKris

Maybe being at an event with all your family has given her the motivation to lose the excess weight.  It has huge health benefits.  Be as supportive as you can while keeping the "I know what I'm doing" in check. 

Hinaj

My sister wants to lose a lot of weight before the wedding as well and she tells me that I should hit the gym even though I weigh far less than her.  So don't get mad, she has your best interest at heart.  Like PP I would be supportive to her, if a wedding is a motivation for her, you should definitely support it. 

JessAndTrav

Why do you view this as her trying to STEAL your attention?

You're the bride. Trust me, the attention is going to be on you.

And how old are you if your sister has been married for 15 years? It seems like you should be old enough to not get upset over something as petty as your sister trying to steal your attention.

Wonderw1fe

One of my BMs was hell bent to lose a bunch of weight before my wedding. I could not have cared less. She may have lost it; hell, I don't remember. If anyone noticed it was:

"Did you lose weight?"
"Yes, I did!"
"You look good! Is there an open bar?"

*end scene*
 
I don't know why this would make you nuts, unless your self esteem is really fragile.

spiffyabigail

Don't worry about it! I seriously doubt she is trying to "steal your attention."  

I'm pretty sure you're overthinking this.  More power to her, deciding to lose weight and actually making the effort is a big deal for a lot of people and she probably wants to share this decision with you since, you know, you're sisters and all.  Try helping her out and giving her some encouragement instead of acting like the world revolves around you. 

Maybe you should go with her to the gym and take a jog on a treadmill to clear your mind of all this nonsense.

duckie1905

She's not trying to steal your attention.  You are seeing malicious actions where none exist.  She's doing something for herself, her health, and presumably her self-image.  It has nothing to do with you beyond the fact that she's using your wedding as the motivation.

Be happy for her and realize that even though you are getting married, her life does not revolve around your wedding.  Your guests will probably still know you are the bride despite the fact that your sister lost some weight.

arixana

She knows she's likely to be in photos and is self conscious about her weight. Good for her for using this as motivation and trying to do something about it.

She is talking to you about eating right as a way to reinforce her own journey. Good for her for looking for support.

It would be very nice if you could provide the support she needs, and be flattered that she thinks your wedding is important enough to better herself for it.

If you've never had a weight problem, as your post suggests, you may not understand it. However I feel badly for her that your first reaction was how it was going to affect YOU.

lisarose7

When my last single aunt got married, I remember my mother looking at the wedding pictures and saying, "Oh my god, I'm huge.  Look, I'm almost as big as (one of her sisters)!  You know, she's always been the heavy one."  I kept envisioning my skinny sister someday telling her kids, "You know, Lisa's always been the heavy one," and it made me feel awful.  I'm sure she's not thinking about stealing your thunder.  I'm sure she's thinking about how people will be looking at your wedding album for years to come and doesn't want to be remembered as "Rachel's fat sister."  Most of us need an important event to motivate us to lose weight, and in your sister's case your wedding was the most important thing she had to lose weight for.  I'm sure, deep down, she wants to look good for YOU.

felicia220

It seems like what is making you nuts is that she is trying to tell you what to eat, when you have been eating right for a while.  Not so much that she wants to lose weight.  If that is the case then you just need to disarm her.  If she gives you advice on what to eat like "You should eat bananas they are good because....." Just say "yeah I heard that, did you know almonds are good for...."  and go back at her, in a nice way of course.  If she tells you not to eat something because its bad for you, you can reply with something like "in moderation its okay, plus depriving yourself of foods you crave can increase depression" (true by the way) Kill her with kindness, one your being nice and two she will know she isn't getting to you (if in fact that is what she is trying to do) As others have said, no matter how hard she tries the bride will always be the main focus of the day.  Good luck to you.

Carameanie1824

Maybe she'd like you to be her "gym buddy" ? 

Some ppl find it hard to outright ask for help, especially with losing weight.  Why not offer to go to the gym with her one day, or ask her over for dinner and you two cook something healthy together?  Show your support for her in ways other than "will this benefit me/my wedding?".  You'd be surprised, she might be willing to do more for your wedding if you support her.