Drinking at reception

jadenicoleansell

Would it be too tacky to have a BYOB reception? We are having a small, country wedding and the reception is just at the barn nearby. Any other ideas would be great too

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_drinking-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:206ee142-f411-4c4a-83f9-a16100eac84cPost:4fc9f462-4b76-46ee-bfab-08cff1c17400">Drinking at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Would it be too tacky to have a BYOB reception? We are having a small, country wedding and the reception is just at the barn nearby. Any other ideas would be great too :)
Posted by jadenicoleansell[/QUOTE]

<div>Tacky isn't the word.  A BYOB reception would be really rude.</div><div>
</div><div>If you can't afford to host alcohol, have a dry wedding.  </div>

OliveOilsMom

Please do not do a BYOB reception.  The reception is a thank you to your guests for attending your wedding.  If you cannot afford to do open bar, there are other options.  You could limit the bar to beer & wine or beer, wine & 1-2 signature drinks, or keep it dry. 

RamonaFlowers

Plan the wedding you can afford to host. Don't expect your guests to foot part of the bill for you.

TiffannieF

First post and its about a BYOB....hmmm..I smell some MUD.....

anywho...absolutely not.  Dry wedding or you provide the alcohol.  You can just provide wine and/or beer.  You can even do cash bar which is still not etiquettly correct or drink tickets...but do NOT do a BYOB.  This isn't a party it's a wedding reception.

Maggie0829

Please do not do this.  It is so far beyond tacky that there really isn't even a word to call it.

Kokes28

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_drinking-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:206ee142-f411-4c4a-83f9-a16100eac84cPost:7db17da1-c76d-4dcd-a469-dd89adfd5c76">Re: Drinking at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]First post and its about a BYOB....hmmm..<strong>I smell some MUD.....</strong> anywho...absolutely not.  Dry wedding or you provide the alcohol.  You can just provide wine and/or beer.  You can even do cash bar which is still not etiquettly correct or drink tickets...but do NOT do a BYOB.  This isn't a party it's a wedding reception.
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

<div>What does MUD mean?
Also, you don't have to be mean. She was just asking for opinions. I agree that it's not right to ask your guests to provide alcohol, however, if you live in a town like I came from... it happens all the time and nobody frowns upon it. Infact, most the people in my town would probably be more happy if they brought their own beer than to not have any drinks at all. So do what works for you and your situation, you said its in a barn, I'm guessing it would probably float okay with your guests. Maybe just don't put it on the invite, but just let word get around that it's fine if your guests want to drink, but you wont be providing it. Like I said, I think it depends on your situation, my reception is at a pretty nice venue where the meals are $70/plate, and I would <strong>never ever </strong>even think of having it be BYOB (though the price does include open bar)...</div>

Osterizer

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_drinking-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:206ee142-f411-4c4a-83f9-a16100eac84cPost:6a14321f-f50f-44af-b143-48dff68aba30">Re: Drinking at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Drinking at reception : What does MUD mean?
Posted by Kokes28[/QUOTE]

Made up drama.  Personally, I don't think this is MUD. 

I agree with PPs, have a limited bar or a dry wedding if alcohol isn't in the budget.

Kokes28

I get what you mean, yes, I just think sometimes more information about her particular situtation is nice before making a judgement call that might be completely wrong for her needs. Like I said, in my town, people would be more happy to bring their own beverage than they would not being able to drink at all. 
But I do agree that in most cases it's inappropriate.

Cortney1982

Reminds me of the time my Uncle was hosting a barbeque, it was BYOB (bring your own BEEF!)  But no no no, if I saw that in the invite, I would think tacky and rude.

It's not necessary to serve alcohol to have a good wedding.  If anybody is expecting booze, that is their problem.  We are having, water, lemonade, and punch.

ms7090

I dont thik this is rude at all. I am doing something like this my fiance and I dont really drink we are gonna have wine, beer, and soda for everyone but if they want something else they can bring it. It is your day and you can do anything you want do worry about everyone else. If they dont like it thats there problem. So I say go for it and some people are just ruse and expect everything for them such as dinner and everything. SO if thats what you can affored do it!!

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_drinking-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:206ee142-f411-4c4a-83f9-a16100eac84cPost:3454efbc-95dd-40b3-ba15-81cf2b394b0b">Re: Drinking at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont thik this is rude at all. I am doing something like this my fiance and I dont really drink we are gonna have wine, beer, and soda for everyone but if they want something else they can bring it.<strong> It is your day and you can do anything you want do</strong> worry about everyone else. If they dont like it thats there problem. So I say go for it and some people are just ruse and expect everything for them such as dinner and everything. SO if thats what you can affored do it!!
Posted by ms7090[/QUOTE]
Oh FFS.  It's a wedding, not a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Whoever came up with that mantra should be hung, drawn, and quartered.

em01092

Yes, it would be tacky. A lot of people may not tell you so to spare your feelings, and some people may not even care, but etiquette wise, it is rude. A wedding reception is a party, sure, but is a thank you to your guests. 

If you cannot afford or do not want to host a lot of alcohol, I would suggest limiting your options to just beer and wine, or keep it dry.

If you decide to go dry, you could also have a casual afterparty at a local bar or pub, or even someone's house or hotel room. Just let the lingering people know you're heading over to ______'s after the reception and they are free to join you. You and your FI would not be responsible for picking up the tab in that case. 

FutureMzHayden

A BYOB might be a little too much.  A friend of mine and her fiance went about it a little different.  They registered for nothing more than gift cards and then took those same gift cards and purchased beer and alcohol.  It was a way to get what they wanted without having to ask the guest to bring it themselves...

ccollazo1113

Host only what you can afford.  Do not write anywhere on the formal invitation about guests bringing their own alcohol.
If you have a wedding website that woud be a good place to write what is being served and that guests are welcome to bring anything else they may desire.

My friend did this on her wedding website:

Additional information

Water, soda, beer, wine, and a limited selection of alcohol will be provided but if you'd like to bring your own, you're more than welcome to do so.