Wedding Reception Forum

Family Issues including Seating

So my parents recently decided it was in their best interest to announce that they're getting a divorce the week beforethis past Christmas. While my siblings and I saw this coming, it’s gotten ridiculously ugly. As my mom and I have never been on good terms, I had originally decided not to invite her, and call it a day. Recently she’s been reaching out to me and seems to be trying to make a connection, and since announcing my wedding, and I’m willing to give her a shot, keeping her from helping me plan and etc but she’s insisting that she be allowed to bring her new sugar daddy. I want to say no, but how do I do that politely?

 

In terms of family and seating issues, my mom’s family has never liked my dad. After my parents got married my mom’s sister and my dad’s brother got hitched and are still married so it makes for an awkward family dynamic. My dad’s brother actually hates his brother (my dad) but I really do have to invite them since they still send money and gifts each Christmas. (Granted the gifts are obviously re-gifts, not inviting my aunt and uncle would pretty much be baaaaad.)

 

The amount of people coming from both sides of my family is so small the only obvious solution is to put them at the same table, but if I did that, there would be bloodshed at the wedding and I have already decided that I'd kick out trouble makers, because I am not having it. How on earth do I do this? If I seat them at the same table it would be a table of about 8, but separately, I risk having too many tables in a small-ish space on an already tight budget and I couldn’t afford the extra rentals and centerpieces. To add to that, everyone else who has agreed to be there are already seated and are much younger than my family and none of them want to deal with either side of my family because the drama would be overwhelming, hence seating them at different tables.

 

For the record we’ve chosen round tables that will seat around 10 or 8 people depending on how we play it.

Re: Family Issues including Seating

  • Don't you have a couple random couples or friends you can fill a family table with so you can have mom's side at one and dad's at the other with a few others to fill in?
  • Don't have a "family table" then.  Assign tables by who would be compatible with your mom and who would be compatible with your dad-at separate tables for each and as far away from each other as possible.  A "family table" sounds like it just won't work, so I'd scratch that.
  • I agree with PPs on the tables. Surely you can find other people invited who would be fine sitting with both sides of the family. 

    Also, you really should let your mom bring her boyfriend. You don't have to like him, but if she's in a relationship, you should invite her boyfriend. 
  • I have round tables of 8... and a similar problem.  My dad is cool with my mom being at the wedding, after all, they've been divorced for 10 years.  My mom on the, has told me it is a huge struggle for her to come and be in the same room as my father and his family.

    My dad's table has 4 family members, my mom's 4 also.  I am adding two great girlfriend's to my mom's table, plus 1 SO.  My dad's table will get a special couple also to beef up the numbers.  All the other tables are full of 8.  Find some special people or other people that you feel will get along with those family members, and add them to the tables.  No one will care if non family members are at a family table. 
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  • when is your wedding?

     

  • Ok, I had a friend with a similar issue. Do your soon to be inlaws - get along with either your mother or father? If you want to have arranged seating, do your best to keep your parents and other guests away from issues. You do not want to have to deal with this on your wedding day. Can you put some family together at one table, and then put others with other single guests that parents or other family members know? Remember its all about you and your fiance. Try not to stress over it to much. You might just have to have a sit down with family members and explain to them your feelings. Maybe they could put feelings and issues aside for this one special day. Good luck!
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