reception and ceremony on different days?

spudly123

      My fiance and I are getting married on november 11th 2011, which is on a friday. Our reception hall is an old renovated train station and when we booked it they told us that they prefer not to do friday weddings (most of the time they function as a senior center and the last friday wedding they did i guess the vendors came in too early and were really pushy with the seniors) however they told us that we were free to use the building from friday to sunday.
       The question is wether or not to do our reception on friday imediatly after the ceremony or on saturday. We planed to have an extreemly small ceremony (we are hoping to have only imediate family at the ceremony) and larger recepton (still only about 70 people or so). I think that having the reception on saturday is a good idea because everyone will be well rested and relaxed (not just getting off work), we wolnt risk bothering the seniors, and my fiance and i will be able to get some time alone in between the ceremony and the reception. plus my family, fiance and i are all very emotional people and i think the ceremony will be enough emotion all on its own for the day. My fiance wants to have the reception after the ceremony on friday because its more traditional, it gives people the option of attending both the ceremony and the reception, and we get to the honeymoon quicker. what do you think?

palegirl146

I would want to come to your ceremony the most.  I really like witnessing the vows, and the point of the reception (IMO) is to celebrate with the B&G.  I would be disappointed if I wasn't invited to the ceremony, and I probably would not attend if I were only able to make it to the reception (Fridays can be difficult).  That's just my opinion though.  Some other things to consider:

1.  Are you going to have your hair done?  Do you plan to have it done on both days?

2.  Do you have a wedding party?  Are they interested in getting dolled up twice?

3.  Are you hiring a photographer?  Do you want to pay for two days?

4.  Do you have any out of town guests?  Will they want to book the hotel for two nights and give up an entire weekend instead of one evening.  For guests that are in town, would they want to get dolled up two days in a row?

5.  Friday would still be your wedding night.  Are you going to want to get up on Saturday to have a party with your friends, or just stay in bed cuddling with your new husband?

Those are just some things to consider.  I'm sure there's a lot more that I haven't thought about.  Is there a special meaning to Nov. 11, or do you just like that it is 11/11/11? 

SaraAndrew2010

Why don't you just get married on Saturday?

Calypso1977

its 11-11-11.... im sure thats the only reason she wants it.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_reception-ceremony-different-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:60ca146d-0e63-448c-9dec-509ab52c78fcPost:e5d2f75d-e630-4186-a9a4-81c0102d1c18">reception and ceremony on different days?</a>:
[QUOTE]      My fiance and I are getting married on november 11th 2011, which is on a friday. Our reception hall is an old renovated train station and when we booked it they told us that they prefer not to do friday weddings (most of the time they function as a senior center and the last friday wedding they did i guess the vendors came in too early and were really pushy with the seniors) however they told us that we were free to use the building from friday to sunday.        The question is wether or not to do our reception on friday imediatly after the ceremony or on saturday. We planed to have an extreemly small ceremony (we are hoping to have only imediate family at the ceremony) and larger recepton (still only about 70 people or so). I think that having the reception on saturday is a good idea because everyone will be well rested and relaxed (not just getting off work), we wolnt risk bothering the seniors, and my fiance and i will be able to get some time alone in between the ceremony and the reception. plus my family, fiance and i are all very emotional people and i think the ceremony will be enough emotion all on its own for the day. My fiance wants to have the reception after the ceremony on friday because its more traditional, it gives people the option of attending both the ceremony and the reception, and we get to the honeymoon quicker. what do you think?
Posted by spudly123[/QUOTE]

It sounds to me like you're complicating things just to have your wedding on a special date (11/11/11). You can do one of two things. 1) Have the wedding on Saturday, or 2) find a different venue for your reception and have it on Friday. Most people don't like gaps between the two so I can't imagine your guests being super excited about having to make your wedding a two day affair.

If you're only having 70 people, why are you not having them all at the ceremony? That's not a huge amount of people. I get that it's emotional, but if your immediate family totals 10-15 people, you're leaving 55 people out of the ceremony. I'm ok with people having small intimate ceremonies with immediate family only, when there's 100+ people invited to the reception. 70 just seems like such a small number to not include everyone at the ceremony.

Queen Jane

I'm with PP's, do it all on Saturday, or if you really need to do 11-11-11 find a different venue. Two days just doesn't make much sense IMO. I would feel jipped if I were only invited to the Saturday event.

AbbeyS2011

Guess I dont understand why your venue is balking about doing a Friday wedding.  I mean, I understand it is usually a senior center, but cant they just put up a notice saying they will be closed that day due to a private party?  Seems odd to me that they are not willing to accommodate you when you are paying to rent the space. 

I agree with PPs.  Either look for another venue that will be available to you all day Friday or have your wedding/reception on Saturday.  Your other option would be to go on Friday and have a civil ceremony then have your "wedding" on Saturday (not a popular suggestion, but might work for you).  You really should invite all the people to both the wedding and the reception.  Stock up on the tissues.

trix1223

palegirl has given you a lot of good reasons to reconsider your suggestion.  If this really is about the date 11/11/11, then I think you do need to consider the demands put on your family and friends versus a "cool number".

And I think that 11/12/11 is a cool number too.  Please either have your wedding on Saturday, or find a different venue so that you can have both ceremony and reception on the same day.

aerinpegadrak

Reception immediately follows ceremony.  Friday weddings are fairly common, so if you're that attached to this wedding date, find a new venue.  You're making things needlessly complicated (and quite possibly more expensive) all for the sake of an arbitrary number.

Summer2011Bride

You really should do them both on the same day for all the reasons PP's have stated. I would talk to your venue again if you are dead set on that Friday date. It seems like it shouldn't be THAT big of a deal to close it to seniors for one day, esp. since you are paying them to do this! Just tell your vendors when the earliest is that they can get in. Just b/c one vendor was rude to the seniors doesn't mean yours will be.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_reception-ceremony-different-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:60ca146d-0e63-448c-9dec-509ab52c78fcPost:2fb14389-fe2e-4421-b919-7cd11b9a528a">Re: reception and ceremony on different days?</a>:
[QUOTE]You really should do them both on the same day for all the reasons PP's have stated. I would talk to your venue again if you are dead set on that Friday date. It seems like it shouldn't be THAT big of a deal to close it to seniors for one day, esp. since you are paying them to do this! Just tell your vendors when the earliest is that they can get in. Just b/c one vendor was rude to the seniors doesn't mean yours will be.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

I disagree with it being okay to kick the group out that meets there every day so that someone can come in for ONE day.  This is the Senior Center.  Would you close a school down so that a bride and groom could have their wedding on a Friday afternoon in the school gym?

I'm having a hard time understanding why people think it's okay to boot the seniors out of their place because the OP wants a "cool" date.

aerinpegadrak

Well, I think if it's just a timing issue, she can talk to the venue again to find out what time they close on Friday to see when she could start setting up without disturbing their normal operation.  Friday weddings should begin as late as possible anyway so people don't have to take time off work to attend.