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Reception Ideas

Planning a reception after eloping...

I live on the west coast and all of my family is on the east coast.  We are planning to elope and then have celebrations both on the east and west coasts.  His parents will be going back east with us in August for that one---it will be casual & outside at my dad's house.  We originally had thought we would do a little ceremony too  (even though we would already be married) just to appease family who seem a little hurt by are idea to elope -- but now thinking that might be a little weird.  Any ideas on how to make the reception special, and make family & friends feel they are part of the nuptials (even though they weren't present for them)?  Thanks in advance!

Re: Planning a reception after eloping...

  • FI and I have some friends who eloped in jamaica and then threw a reception when they got back.  they had a videograpgher tape the ceremony and played it just prior to their grand entrance.  they also came to the wedding reception dressed exactly as they were for the wedding (full gown and suit) and for me, as a guest, it seemed no different than if i'd actually been there.  

    personally, id nix the idea of redoing the ceremony. for me, it would be overkill.  as for making people feel like they were a part of the nuptials, i think you should have photos and video available for those who want to see it.  id allow for toasts too, bc people will probably want to wish the two of you the best and would not have been able to do so in person since you decided to elope.
  • I agree, don't do a fake ceremony.

    DIsplay some photos, serve the best food and drinks you can afford, and be sure to talk to every person and thank them for coming.
    image
  • You asked the question just a little differently on the ceremony board, so I'm going to C&P both your question and my answer, which hasn't changed.

    I live on the west coast but all my family is on the east coast.  My fiance and I really just wanted to elope and then have parties to celebrate both on the east and west coast.  But, my family is really having a hard time with this idea and made me feel really guilty.  So...we decide we would just go the courthouse and get married just the two of us but then have a really casual ceremony/party outside at my dad's house a couple of months later.  Is this tacky?  Is it weird to do a "pretend" get married just for show.  Should I only wear the "wedding" dress I got to the ceremony?  Please, any advice you have would be great.  My fiance is not at all into any kind of ceremony so any advice on how to simplify it would be great too.  Thanks in advance!
    Posted by jtaran


    If you elope, you're married.  You can't have another ceremony, casual or otherwise unless you get divorced in between.  What you'd be having would technically be a "vow renewal", which is,  after only a couple of months, incredibly silly. 

    So you have the choice.  If you are old enough to get married, you're old enough to make a decision and live with the consequences of your decision. 

    And the consequences would be that you don't have the PPD wedding.  Not the typical bridal dress, not the reception, not the flowers, not the  WP, the "first dance", and all those typical wedding day things. 

    What would you have?  The knowledge that you have deeply disappointed your family.

    If you're okay with than, then elope.

    But I'm going to speak as someone who's been MOG and MOB in the last 4 years.  I would have crawled through hot coals laced with broken glass to see my children at their wedding.  Thankfully, I didn't have to, because they realized how important this day was to our family.  And that they are part of that family.

    I'm going to tell you that I would be hurt beyond measure, and would have a hard time letting go of the fact that my chidlren didn't think it mattered enough to have DH and I and their siblings share this day with them.

    To be honest, showing me a video a couple of months later wouldn't ameliorate anything for me. 

    Only you can answer your question.  There are always consequences that come with the decisions we make in life.  And the only one who can speak to the question of comfort with the consequences is you.

    GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • newbies, stage.  Many of the X-posts are from people with under 10 or 12 posts.  It is nice when they preface multiple posts with XP though. 
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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