Alcohol or no alcohol??

mommad1113

Any input on whether it would be ok to NOT have alcohol at our wedding? (other than some wine/chanpagne for toasts) My fiance and i really would rather not have alcohol, we're not much of drinkers and we both have relatives who cannot handle their drinks. many alcoholics on both sides of the family, lol. but i keep hearing that its going to be boring without any beer :P i'm just worried that with so many people together that if someone has too much too drink ther might be something awful like a fight to happen, and thats the last thing i want on my special day...
help?!

vsgal

You can choose not to have alcohol, but please do not use the "I have alcoholics that I am worried about in my family".  You are punishing everyone else for a handful of people.  Do you  try to keep booze away every other minute of the day?  If you don't, then don't make your wedding dry for them. It is pretentious.

That being said, if you and groom don't want alcohol served, you can have a dry wedding.  Keep in mind that the reception will probably be shorter in length. Maybe do a signature non-alcoholic drink.   If your guests are drinkers at celebrations, I would have beer/wine available.  The reception is about thanking your guests and accommodating their comfort.  It sounds like you are good with wine/champagne, so I would add beer for the non-wine drinkers and leave it at that.

Maggie0829

I really hate when people use wanting to control a select few individuals from getting out of hand for a reason to not have alcohol.

Now if you and your FI are morally against alcohol then a dry reception is fine.  But seeing that you are not opposed to having wine/champagne for a toast then you aren't morally against it.  Also, limiting your guests to only one alcoholic beverage is rude.  You are basically telling them that you do not think that they are mature enough to handle more then that and that you are wanting to control them.  If you are going to have wine/champagne for a toast then you really need to provide that through the course of the evening.  I would have a wine, beer and champagne as your alcoholic beverages of choice.  Leave cutting off your guests to the discretion of your bartender.

AddieCake

Ditto VSGal. 

Also, what time is your ceremony?  One of the reasons we opted for a morning ceremony and lunch reception was to not have to have as much alcohol at our wedding. Our timeline certainly lessened the expectation of alcohol b/c if we had done it at night, we and our guests would have been wanting it. We served mimosas and then had a glass of wine for everyone for the toast. A bunch of us then went out later for an after party. 

mommad1113

i just feel that its a lose lose situation- on one hand i do not want to keep the people  who can actually drink responsibly from enjoying a drink or two (mind you, there are far less responsible drinkers than out of hand drinkers in this case) and at the same time i dont want any people acting stupid because of drinkinh. i personally do not like being around people that have been drinkin, esp my family. as i have grown up around so many people who cannot handle their alcohol. my parents ( who i cannot simply not invite) are two of the people i am most concerned about... im trying trying to be "controlling" i just really dont want the evening to be ruined because of alcohol is all...
i just figured not having any would be better than worrying about what may occur if ther is some..

mommad1113

and i apoligize for the "lol" inthere. force of habit. i do realize that it is no laughing matter, i grew up with alcoholic parents and know its nothing funny.

mommad1113

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:b847b938-cffe-4d16-9756-26c75664aac2">Re: Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Alcohol or no alcohol?? : I realize it is now somewhat common to have 'lol' end a sentence.  Remember it means "laugh out loud".  Alcoholism is a disease that is NOT something to 'lol' about.  
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

i do realize it is no laughing matter. simply a force of habit to throw in the "lol" at the end of things. lol

alithebride

if you are that adamant about using that excuse then dont have ANY alcohol-wine and champagne included.

SlothGoals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:b7ce98b9-d13c-4366-8040-e403689bde55">Re: Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]i just feel that its a lose lose situation- on one hand i do not want to keep the people  who can actually drink responsibly from enjoying a drink or two (mind you, there are far less responsible drinkers than out of hand drinkers in this case) and at the same time i dont want any people acting stupid because of drinkinh. i personally do not like being around people that have been drinkin, esp my family. as i have grown up around so many people who cannot handle their alcohol. my parents ( who i cannot simply not invite) are two of the people i am most concerned about... im trying trying to be "controlling" i just really dont want the evening to be ruined because of alcohol is all... <strong>i just figured not having any would be better than worrying about what may occur if ther is some..</strong>
Posted by mommad1113[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>But you did plan on having some alcohol. I would say either you need to host beer/wine throughout the entire night, or have no alcohol at all. There really isn't an in-between here without being rude.

</div>

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:a60fc539-6d54-4968-b21d-1f74a175ea56">Re:Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Alcohol or no alcohol??: just drop the lol, pumpkin. You are talking to adults, not the Justin Bieber Fan Club. Wedding vendors won't take you seriously.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Or anyone else really...

Ditto to what the others said.  If you are doing a dry wedding, commit to that.  Otherwise you'll get the problem people 'started', their judgement lowered, and they leave your reception, locate what they want, and possibly will bring it back to the event.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:a60fc539-6d54-4968-b21d-1f74a175ea56">Re:Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Alcohol or no alcohol??: just drop the lol, pumpkin. You are talking to adults,<strong> not the Justin Bieber Fan Club.</strong> Wedding vendors won't take you seriously.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

Now that is a LOL comment!

AJuliaNJ

I echo what PP's have said. The only thing that I wanted to add is that you should either do a completely dry reception or serve alcohol the whole time. Having just one drink early in the night can make you tired as it wears off and make guests leave early because they want to go to bed or get more alcohol.

mommad1113

obviously i'm not going to be using "lol" when having face to face or over the phone interaction with vendors. its a typing habit, i dont SAY "lol" when actually talking. sheesh...
and thank you for the input, i thought it would be nicer to have the drinks for toasts, but we will probably go with a totally dry wedding. and probably find a place that doesnt even allow alcohol.
the way i see if people cant enjoy themselves sober, then they can leave. if they come to the wedding to drink and not celebrate this special day then they shouldnt be there anyhow i suppose.

mommad1113

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:c97e0ccb-7eed-4893-b7ac-1bef273c4ce8">Re: Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]Having a dry reception is fine but I would hope you could lose the attitude. Some of us enjoy a few glasses of wine responsibly and don't need to be lectured about "celebrating your special day sober or we can go home."
Posted by scribe95[/Q

my reasons for not wanting to alcohol is because of the many people who will be attending my wedding that CANNOT drink responsibly, if everyone could have adrink and not get rowdy or bitter (as these people do) then i would not mind having alcohol nor would i have that attitude toward it. its not as if im making people give up alcohol for the rest of their lives or suggesting they should NEVER drink, just not on this day at this event.

MsYeck

Since it appears over half our invites cannot handle their alcohol and you yourself don't like being around them when they drink I would do a COMPLETLY DRY reception.

wittykitty14

I suggest doing a completely dry reception.  It's kind of all or nothing with this one.  My FI and I are doing that as well.  I understand where you're coming from-having family members with drinking problems.  While it shouldn't be the only reason for a dry wedding (and I know it isn't), I can appreciate that you've taken that into consideration.  IMO, the best reason for not having alcohol is because it's YOUR wedding, and even though you want to keep your guests happy, you shouldn't sacrifice your own happiness and comfort.  

I've noticed that some people criticize others, like us, who prefer to have a dry reception.  Some have said that it's rude, or our reasons aren't valid, or that the party won't last long.  2 out of 3 weddings I went to last year were dry, and they were fine.  One in particular was GREAT.  People danced for hours-because the music was good and kept the crowd going!  The other dry reception didn't last long.  There was no real DJ, and they played their music from an iPod with bad speakers.  It wasn't the fault of the lack of alcohol.  But in both cases, people enjoyed themselves, and did not question the fact that it was dry.  All the guests knew that this was to celebrate their marriage, and that both couples weren't drinkers.  If it's really want you want to do, have a dry reception!  It'll be fine!  

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:4b6e80c2-da71-4f07-b6db-097a77dd2417">Re: Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]obviously i'm not going to be using "lol" when having face to face or over the phone interaction with vendors. its a typing habit, i dont SAY "lol" when actually talking. sheesh... and thank you for the input, i thought it would be nicer to have the drinks for toasts, but we will probably go with a totally dry wedding. and probably find a place that doesnt even allow alcohol. the way i see if people cant enjoy themselves sober, then they can leave. <strong>if they come to the wedding to drink and not celebrate this special day then they shouldnt be there anyhow i suppose.</strong>
Posted by mommad1113[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly.  An excellent approach to have on the whole thing. </div>

MuppetOverlord

I think some replies are a little harsh on here...I understand her concern, some people cannot control their drinking and make scenes which are not the events you want to be memorable during your wedding.

I faced this dilemma during my first wedding and after seeing how people on my ex's side reacted at a few events (one of them was going up to everyone giving titty twisters and the other was helping her hold people down at one event). We considered not having alcohol at all but in the end, we didn't invite the people who were really obnoxious to the wedding. We didn't value their presence at our wedding, why invite them?

I don't think completely dry is necessary. If you want these people there, why not offer some other options that will reduce the amount of alcohol content involved? I.e.  only allow beer and wine (no hard liquor) be sold or have a spiked punch available for the alcohol.

You can also limit the amount of hours that the bar service is available....or reduce the reception time.

mommad1113

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:f90e6959-d721-48ac-8897-b60ee5d76c84">Re: Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]I suggest doing a completely dry reception.  It's kind of all or nothing with this one.  My FI and I are doing that as well.  I understand where you're coming from-having family members with drinking problems.  While it shouldn't be the only reason for a dry wedding (and I know it isn't), I can appreciate that you've taken that into consideration.  IMO, the best reason for not having alcohol is because it's YOUR wedding, and even though you want to keep your guests happy, you shouldn't sacrifice your own happiness and comfort.   I've noticed that some people criticize others, like us, who prefer to have a dry reception.  Some have said that it's rude, or our reasons aren't valid, or that the party won't last long.  2 out of 3 weddings I went to last year were dry, and they were fine.  One in particular was GREAT.  People danced for hours-because the music was good and kept the crowd going!  The other dry reception didn't last long.  There was no real DJ, and they played their music from an iPod with bad speakers.  It wasn't the fault of the lack of alcohol.  But in both cases, people enjoyed themselves, and did not question the fact that it was dry.  All the guests knew that this was to celebrate their marriage, and that both couples weren't drinkers.  If it's really want you want to do, have a dry reception!  It'll be fine!  :)
Posted by wittykitty14[/QUOTE]

very well said :) thank you for your understanding, i didnt realize in the beginning that not wanting alcohol at my wedding was goin to be so controversial!

mommad1113

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:de15513e-46b4-4c80-ae72-1c5d9adc1b33Post:01f0f0a9-bed9-4301-b6c4-5b464409a248">Re: Alcohol or no alcohol??</a>:
[QUOTE]I think some replies are a little harsh on here...I understand her concern, some people cannot control their drinking and make scenes which are not the events you want to be memorable during your wedding. I faced this dilemma during my first wedding and after seeing how people on my ex's side reacted at a few events (one of them was going up to everyone giving titty twisters and the other was helping her hold people down at one event). We considered not having alcohol at all but in the end, we didn't invite the people who were really obnoxious to the wedding. We didn't value their presence at our wedding, why invite them? I don't think completely dry is necessary. If you want these people there, why not offer some other options that will reduce the amount of alcohol content involved? I.e.  only allow beer and wine (no hard liquor) be sold or have a spiked punch available for the alcohol. You can also limit the amount of hours that the bar service is available....or reduce the reception time.
Posted by BritniLeigh[/QUOTE]

another very well said comment. i was a bit astonished at how the p=first few people responded, made me feel like i was being unreasonable and controlling. but thank you for seeing what i was tryin to get across

duffnerashleyocc

If you are not having alcohol, I would suggest an earlier reception. Every book I've read about having a bar at the wedding ssid spring for the open bar. DO NOT make your guests pay for their drinks.