Can we ask guests to give us money for accommodations?

acanon526

My fiancé and I are in the beginning stages of planning our wedding and are currently picking between 2 venues. Our dream venue is to use a summer camp in the off season. It's beautiful and rustic, and we love the idea of renting out the camp for the whole weekend for guests to enjoy! This would include guests staying in the cabins (if they want to). The problem is that it costs $5,000 to rent the camp for the whole weekend, which is above our budget. We thought we could offset the costs by asking guests to pay a small fee (maybe $10 a night) if they want to stay. It's much cheaper than a hotel, but I'm worried that seems tacky . Since we would have already paid for the use of cabins, guests would have to pay us directly.

Any thoughts? If we do end up asking for contributions towards cabin rentals, how should we ask?

HobokenBride2012

In Response to Can we ask guests to give us money for accommodations?:

My fiancé and I are in the beginning stages of planning our wedding and are currently picking between 2 venues. Our dream venue is to use a summer camp in the off season. It's beautiful and rustic, and we love the idea of renting out the camp for the whole weekend for guests to enjoy! This would include guests staying in the cabins (if they want to). The problem is that it costs $5,000 to rent the camp for the whole weekend, which is above our budget. We thought we could offset the costs by asking guests to pay a small fee (maybe $10 a night) if they want to stay. It's much cheaper than a hotel, but I'm worried that seems tacky . Since we would have already paid for the use of cabins, guests would have to pay us directly. Any thoughts? If we do end up asking for contributions towards cabin rentals, how should we ask?
Posted by acanon526

Sorry but there is no untacky way to do this.  If it was a hotel where they make their own reservations it would be ok but you can't ask guests to give you money especially for something that you already paid for.

kmmssg

I agree with Hoboken.  You guys chose this for your venue so you guys pay for it.  It would be the same for any other venue.

AddieL73

If you asked me to do this, you would have just lost a wedding guest. You cannot ask your guests for money. 

brita722

Agree with previous posters. You cannot ask for money, in any way, it ls rude and tacky. 

Summer2011Bride

Ditto PPs. It's one thing to rent out a banquet room at a hotel and guests pay the hotel for their rooms if they choose to stay there. You are not paying the hotel to rent out the whole venue and then asking guests to reimburse you.

it's quite another to have already paid to rent out a whole venue and then ask guests to chip in if they stay there. I mean, although this is unlikely, it's possible that no one would want to actually stay the night at the cabin. What would you do then? You'd still have to rent out the cabin to have it as your venue. I just don't think it's right to charge guests for something you are already doing whether or not they stay there.

acanon526

Thanks for the feedback everyone. The camp actually has a system set up where guests can directly pay the camp to rent a cabin, and then the money gets reimbursed back to us. It might seem sneaky, but no one has to know that the cabins were already paid for. It seems like folks disagree with me on this one, but I don't really see the big deal. If people don't want to stay in the cabins then they don't have to. And if they choose to do so, they are getting a great deal that's considerably cheaper than any other lodging!

southerncutie

i know if i was a guest paid to rent and money was reimburshed to you because was all paid for first.  i found out i would be upset mad and felt deceived and lied too.  also seems like you had made up your mind what you were going to do before posting.  if im sorry im not sure why u asked our opinions if you had already made up your mind. 

HobokenBride2012

In Response to Re: Can we ask guests to give us money for accommodations?:

Thanks for the feedback everyone. The camp actually has a system set up where guests can directly pay the camp to rent a cabin, and then the money gets reimbursed back to us. It might seem sneaky, but no one has to know that the cabins were already paid for. It seems like folks disagree with me on this one, but I don't really see the big deal. If people don't want to stay in the cabins then they don't have to. And if they choose to do so, they are getting a great deal that's considerably cheaper than any other lodging!
Posted by acanon526

absolutely classless

jessicadall

And then there's the practical, what if no one wants to stay there? If you can't afford it without their help, you'd be stuck...

NOLAbridealmost

I actually don't see a problem as long as the couple eats the cost if there are no takers. There is NOTHING wrong with booking a whole campsite, or hotel, or cruise ship, etc. and offering space to guests and letting them know the costs if they choose to stay there.

jessicabessica

In Response to Re: Can we ask guests to give us money for accommodations?:

Thanks for the feedback everyone. The camp actually has a system set up where guests can directly pay the camp to rent a cabin, and then the money gets reimbursed back to us. It might seem sneaky, but no one has to know that the cabins were already paid for. It seems like folks disagree with me on this one, but I don't really see the big deal. If people don't want to stay in the cabins then they don't have to. And if they choose to do so, they are getting a great deal that's considerably cheaper than any other lodging!
Posted by acanon526

I actually think that these additional details make it ok.  The part I'm not comfortable with would be you asking and taking money directly from your guests, but if the camp is handling that, that's no longer a problem.  

However, if you cannot afford the venue if no one stays there, you should not use this venue.  

alithebride

In Response to Can we ask guests to give us money for accommodations?:

My fiancé and I are in the beginning stages of planning our wedding and are currently picking between 2 venues. Our dream venue is to use a summer camp in the off season. It's beautiful and rustic, and we love the idea of renting out the camp for the whole weekend for guests to enjoy! This would include guests staying in the cabins (if they want to). The problem is that it costs $5,000 to rent the camp for the whole weekend, which is above our budget. We thought we could offset the costs by asking guests to pay a small fee (maybe $10 a night) if they want to stay. It's much cheaper than a hotel, but I'm worried that seems tacky . Since we would have already paid for the use of cabins, guests would have to pay us directly. Any thoughts? If we do end up asking for contributions towards cabin rentals, how should we ask?
Posted by acanon526

NO.

scribe95

Interesting. In your first post you said specifically that guests would have to pay you directly. Obviously bad all around and you got panned. Then you changed it to they would pay the camp and the camp would reimburse you, which makes it only SLIGHTLY better but I wonder which is the real story.

hokiebride921

I personally don't think this is all that bad...if you are really offering the rooms to your guest at a significant discount of $10-$20 for a night, as a guest I would be happy that you picked a venue where I could stay onsite, not have to worry about transportation, and get an awesome deal for my lodging. Even if I found out the money was being reimbursed back to the bride and groom, so what? It's a win/win. I get a cheap night stay, and the bride/groom gets a discount on their venue. In a way, it's just a perk of the venue location you chose. 

I say go for it. If guests are upset that you 'tricked' them... then fine, they can go spend the $100 on a hotel and worry about driving to/from the reception venue. 

I DO agree w/ PP that if you cannot afford the venue to begin with, then I wouldn't rely on all the guests to stay at the camp in case it doesn't meet your bugeted goal.

Good luck!!

SP29

I agree with the above.

I think it is better that guests can deal directly with the cabin staff, but as long as you are open with your guests, "We have booked the entire facility for use, if you would like to stay in one of the cabins it is $10 per night" it would be fine. 

Guest don't HAVE to stay there, you are not demanding everyone give you $10 (maybe this has confused some other posters and they think you are making every guest pay $10 regardless?), it is only if they choose to stay.

I think it's a good idea (as long as the cabins are nice and guests have access to electric plugs in the room and running water to shower and get ready, etc) as where are you going to find a hotel for $10??? It is also great for guests not to have to drive between ceremony and reception nor risk people driving home after they've been drinking. 

But I do agree- you have to be prepared that no one may want to stay and thus you're stuck with the $5K cost, which is all on you. Don't do it if you can't afford it. 

acanon526

In Response to Re: Can we ask guests to give us money for accommodations?:

I agree with the above. I think it is better that guests can deal directly with the cabin staff, but as long as you are open with your guests, "We have booked the entire facility for use, if you would like to stay in one of the cabins it is $10 per night" it would be fine.  Guest don't HAVE to stay there, you are not demanding everyone give you $10 (maybe this has confused some other posters and they think you are making every guest pay $10 regardless?), it is only if they choose to stay. I think it's a good idea (as long as the cabins are nice and guests have access to electric plugs in the room and running water to shower and get ready, etc) as where are you going to find a hotel for $10??? It is also great for guests not to have to drive between ceremony and reception nor risk people driving home after they've been drinking.  But I do agree- you have to be prepared that no one may want to stay and thus you're stuck with the $5K cost, which is all on you. Don't do it if you can't afford it. 
Posted by SP29

Thanks!

tnolan102

I actually don't think it's tacky at all. I can see why some people would think that because it's not your usual "wedding etiquette", but coming from somone who has worked in wedding planning, you aren't breaking any rules. Plus you also have to think its 2013! We are just a couple years out of a major recession. If I was your guest I would LOVE to stay in a cabin! You are doing them a favor by offering a much cheaper service and very unique experience. 

ashley2516

I'm going against the majority of people's opinions on this topic, but a lot of the girls over on the NC-OBX board rent beach houses for their weddings and guests pay for a room at the house.  This is actually what we're doing.  It's not like we're demanding that our guests stay at the house, we simply told everyone that we've rented out a beach house for the week and that anyone who would like to stay and vacation with us can rent a room for $XXX.  We also made sure to list nearby hotels so that people have options.  It's a 23 bedroom house, and our guests are so excited about it.

sweetlilpsycho

In my opinion, if you're renting an entire place out, you pay for it.  Beach house, campground, whatever, that's the entire point of renting it out.  I think this is a classless way to try to have a wedding that people can't afford.  If you want guests to pay their own way, have your wedding at a hotel.  The disintigration of wedding etiquette boggles my mind sometimes...