need some advice/words of encouragement

jen83rn

need some advice or words or encouragement.....
we found the resort for our wedding and know we want to marry Nov 2011 but my family is giving me such a hard time....any excuse they can come up with but mostly they can't afford to go. We have many friends that are excited to go & his family is totally fine with it & we would have probably had the date booked already if I could get my family to be ok with the destination wedding
Im already stressed & it is over a year away!!!

what would you do in this situation?? & if you have been there how did you handle it??

numb3rMel

FI's family was not on board while mine was all about it. We will be just short of 2 years engagement when we get married in Cancun. It was hard for my FI to come to terms with his family disapproval but in the end we stuck by our decision. His mom and brother will be joining us but his dad has health issues and his sister still refuses to go. We knowingly planned our wedding that not everyone we want there would be able to go. In the end, its just FI and me. If our loved friends and family don't support how we pledge our lives together, then that's their problem. We know they still support our future. That one day for us is just that... for us.

dew3162

We told people as soon as we decided and also gave them prices right away so that they could start planning as early as possible and that seemed to work very well.  I think with more than a years notice they should be OK with it and that is plenty of time to save up money.

ms_teach

If money really is the reason, you might be really surprised to see what the costs are once you get your package.  For us, many of our guests are making it their summer vacation.  Some of them are also renting houses together instead of paying for hotel rooms... it's cheaper and they can do their own food that week.  Of course, it depends on what kind of DW you pick.

Ultimately, what I've come to terms with is that this is our wedding.  I hope the people who are really important to us decide to make it.  But, if they don't.. well... we'll take lots of pictures!

beckerz03

everyone on the board knows my story...you can look back and read a few pages and get filled in.

but basically my mom was completely against and made me feel really bad about it.

BTW, ladies, I talked to her once we decided on a resort (Couples Sans Souci) and I told her that this is my decision and she needs to respect, even if she doesn't agree and a few other things. So far, so good...guess we'll see.

Anyways, FI and I finally got to the point of where it would just be me and him because it was just going to be too much of a hassle.

If you want people there, invite them and if they come, they come...unless your family is anything like my mom, I'm sure over the next few months when they see how excited you are and as the date grows closer...they'll want to join in on the excitement.

If it is financial...you can always look into doing a webcam during your ceremony so that the folks at home can watch it. I know it's not the same thing, but at least your family can enjoy.

HTH!!

mishy112

If you and your Fi are paying for the wedding, I say book the resort now and hope your family comes around. Would it be a dealbreaker to do a DW if any of them couldn't come? Many brides on here can relate to exactly what you are going through with your family. More often than not (but not always), those naysayers come around once they see you've made up your mind and they have a choice to support it or miss your big day.  Good luck!

chosen175

Well, what's your other option - a wedding at home that you'll pay 4x as much for that you will HATE for the rest of your life?

I'd book and say whoever comes, comes and whoever doesn't, doesn't.  I would NOT sacrifice my dream wedding for ANYONE!  (Not to mention that we couldn't afford a wedding here in Chicago if we wanted to.)

zsmama

I think you have to decide what is really important to you.  Is a DW your dream and you can't see your wedding any other way?  If family members can't come will you be OK with that?  When FI and I decided on a DW we said if it ends up being  just him and I that would be OK.  (Fortunately both of our parents were supportive and are coming.)  But thats what works for us - we wanted a DW no matter what.  You have to decide what works for you.  I guess what I'm saying is do what will make you and your FI happy and if that's a DW, your family will hopefully come around.  Good luck!

jen83rn

Thanks so much everyone!!! Definitely feel better & more confident about our decision to have a DW

Orchid2011

In Response to <a href="http://destination.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_need-advicewords-of-encouragement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:475a591c-047d-4a35-bfae-c0cc5d101c61Post:4a36d297-ea5f-4043-b849-26b2df33aa37">Re: need some advice/words of encouragement</a>:
[QUOTE] I'd book and say whoever comes, comes and whoever doesn't, doesn't.  I would NOT sacrifice my dream wedding for ANYONE!  Posted by chosen175[/QUOTE]

I completely agree. In the end all that matters and the most important people are you and your FI. and like other pps said once time start passing by and they see how excited you are and that you made up your mind regardless of who would go they'll most likely change their minds and decide to go as well. Just give them time but start planning your dream wedding regadless. GL