Destination Weddings

For Lola & others re: shower invites

For some reason when I try reply to that post it says "operation aborted" so here is what I did.

We invited about 85 people to the wedding (mostly my dad's siblings and families) knowing that most would not come.

For the shower I had the same issue but it worked out that I invited all the women who were invited to the wedding to the shower.

The people who aren't coming to the wedding but are important to me were able to celebrate with me. Those that I was not that concerned about didn't come to the shower either and it was perfect!

As far as where to have it. We went back and forth and someone suggested to have it where *I* live. It seemed sort of selfish at the time but I PROMISE in the shuffle of trying to get everything done at the last minute, you will be glad not to have to 'waste' time traveling to your own shower.

The only drawback is that many people who have not seen our house before want to stop by before or after the shower which means we have to have the place clean!

Good luck, just remember, it is YOUR SHOWER!

Re: For Lola & others re: shower invites

  • Thanks for your input, Carey. I'm still torn! The chances are that the other women would NOT come. I highly doubt that I am important enough to them to travel 5 hours to my hometown. I've seen them on several occasions and they never ask a thing about the wedding, don't have any of the girl-to-girl conversations that are normal like what does my dress look like, etc. But as I think about it, there are a couple of girls that maybe I should invite, namely the girlfriends of two GM's. But if I invite them, should I invite all the girls (the rest of the girls being other girlfriends that I am not close with and barely know, and the female friends of FI's circle who know the girlfriends and all know each other)?? Is it wrong to invite only the ones that I'm semi-cool with? I also don't know how I feel about giving my sister a list of all these women for her to invite and pay for, when I really don't care for them and don't want her to have to potentially pay for their attendance.

    As for the location, I'm still leaning towards my hometown. I am a 7+ hour drive from my sister in NH, and 5+ hours from my sister in MA. Only one sister and I live here, so my other sisters would have to pay for the transportation, and a hotel on top of that, and I know it would be difficult for them when they are already saving as much as they can to pay for the wedding trip. They would easily have to spend several hundred dollars just for transport and lodging, on top of hosting the shower. That doesn't seem fair to me.
  • Ugh, TK is being annoying and won't let me edit my last post.

    ETA: TK states this, and this confirms my gut feeling:


    You don't have to invite every woman who's invited to your wedding (think of the expense for your bridesmaids if you did!). The guest list should include your closest female pals and relatives (and your fiance's mom, sis, and other close female friends and family).
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