California-Northern

Save the date

My fiance and I both come from very big families. We are sending out save the dates, but have both an "A" list and a " B" list. We are only sending out save the dates to our "A" list. Is it rude or inappropriate to put another card with save the dates and ask the couple if they know they will be able to make it to please let us know? How would you word that? Since people don't RSVP  on time might this help so we can send our "B" list invitations before it is to late??? Please help..

Re: Save the date

  • adgenyaadgenya member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What you are basically asking them to do is RSVP for your wedding. It's kind of hard to ask someone "will you be able to make it to my wedding 6 months from now?"Perhaps sending out your A-list invites with an earlier RSVP date would be your best route.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. I think it would be a little bit inappropriate.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP, we have the same thing though.  We put our wedding website on our STD though and lots of people have sent emails/signed guest book, etc. saying if they'll be there or not.  So I have at least 4 people off the list now.
  • edited December 2011
    Guests are not obligated and usually don't RSVP after the save the dates are sent out- that's what the invitations are for.  I think it is kind of rude to ask people to let you know if they can come before you send out the invite- sorry :(...There's really nothing you can do to figure out how many people will be attending until you send out your real invitations- it sucks, but it seems like it's something we all have to go through...I think you should send a save the date card to every single person you really want to be at your wedding, if there are people who are "maybes" they really shouldn't be invited to the biggest day of your life!  You will be thankful in the end when you pay your huge bill that you didn't spend all that money on people you didn't even really want there...  If it's any help- we invited about 190 people and 135 are coming- so you can expect quite a few to say no- especially if your most of your family is from out of town...Hope this helps!  Good luck!
  • sm23sm23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are in the same boat as you. We're just sending the A list RSVP cards with an earlier date. Once we get those back, we'll figure out how many B list invitations we can send out, and those will have a later RSVP date.
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