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is it normal...?

nikilynnenikilynne
First Comment
in California-Northern
My FMIL is throwing FI and I a "couples shower" in a few weeks at her friend's home.  My sisters (one is my MOH and one is a BM) and BM (two other friends) were not invited, but my parents and grandparents were.Is it normal for BM/MOH to not be invited to such a shower?  I don't care, and I'm sure my BM/MOH will be grateful to have a nikilynne-free weekend, but it just seems strange to not at least invite them.....
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Re: is it normal...?

  • nutmegmjknutmegmjk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    They should be invited.  It's ok if they don't go, but they're in the wedding and should be invited to all wedding related events.
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  • lproutenlprouten member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i would definitely think your party would be invited, especially your MOH/ sisters (they are family)  Seems strange to invite parents and grandparents but not sisters?
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  • hmschultshmschults member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Strange..I would think that they would be invited...are they throwing you a seperate shower?
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  • sm23sm23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it's strange that your bridal party is not invited to a shower...
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  • underthebridge09underthebridge09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp
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  • anglynanglyn
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    The bridal party should be invited.. Were they not invited because they are not a couple?
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  • nikilynnenikilynne
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks to everyone for the input--I thought it was weird, too.  Some background...MOH threw me an "Under 30" shower locally last weekend.  FMIL's shower is in SoCal, where she lives.  She didn't specifically say "MOH and BMs, you are not invited" she just did not send them an invite and told my mom it was a "Couples shower".  Kind of irked me (irked FI even more), but this is only one of many things which have "challenged" us with her...my grandma is throwing me a "family" shower for family up in NorCal, and invited all BM, and FI's family...anyways, just wanted to make sure I was not being overly weird by being slightly hurt they weren't included...not sure it's worth discussing with FMIL (her 30 friends on our guest list may be higher priority, but since the invites are out, guess that's a moot point).Sorry for the ramble. Thank you all for your help!!
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  • nikilynnenikilynne
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh, and yes, MOH and 3/4 BM are single ladies.  1 BM has a long-term boyfriend, but she was not invited, either. :)
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  • sm23sm23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Under 30 shower? I've never heard of that. I can see how that might be offensive to your FMIL - since clearly she's not under 30... So maybe this is her way of throwing a shower she can participate in and "getting back" at your bridal party for not inviting her to the earlier shower? I hope that's not the case, but it could be  :-/
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  • loanbphamloanbpham
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A couple's shower? What is that and why on earth would men want to go to a shower? It's almost like making me go to a Fantasy Football draft and hear them talk about players and stats.
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  • nikilynnenikilynne
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hope FMIL wasn't offended by not being invited to the "Under 30"--never thought of that.  FI and I are relatively young (24/25), so most of our friends are "under 30"--it was really just a lingerie shower.  Figured my grandma/FI's mom wouldn't want to see some of the weird stuff I got...and boy was it weird :)  Since my grandma is throwing a "family shower" in September (FMIL included), there really wasn't any females invited to the wedding not invited to at least one shower...re: the Couples shower--it's really a "FMIL's friends who are couples" shower--I think the guest list is me/FI, my parents, grandparents, FMIL's sister and her husband, and FMIL's 30 friends (15 couples) invited to the wedding...can you tell I'm a bit irked :)
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  • maryh01maryh01
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was a bit irked by the shower that my MIL threw for me too.  Only my mom and sister were invited, no BMS, not even the ones who were local.  It was about 30 women who I had never met before and was VERY awkward for me.  Sometimes I don't think they understand that its not about them! 
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  • BrennaGwynBrennaGwyn
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like your FMIL just wanted a reason to throw herself her own party... not to be mean, but really weird thing to do!
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  • nikilynnenikilynne
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Brenna, I have a feeling you are right...at least now FI and I can MEET some of her friends coming to our wedding?  I imagine it will be awkward going up to an entire TABLE (or 3.5) at the wedding and saying "Hi, we're Niki Lynne and FI...you are??"Mary, SO glad to hear you had a similar thing happen...not that a shower is some kind of "hardship", just glad to hear someone else's experience, too :)will keep you all posted...
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