Etiquette

palongi

A group of ladies/neighbors have been hanging out for some time - and so have our 20something children. One of the older daughters is getting married. We just recieved the invite and my son's name was not included. He's 24, lives at home and technically should get his own invitation - that I can overlook. But to be excluded when all the other kids of invited parent are included? Do I say something? I know - it's they're wedding, blah, blah, blah - but this is not the first time...

QueerFemme

You could say to the daughter's mother the next time you are together "we received Jane's wedding invitation, how lovely !  We are looking forward to the wedding.  We noticed that John did not receive a seperate invitation and was not included on our invitation.  Was that an oversight? "

If you are close to these people that shouldn't be overly offensive.  But, if he isn't invited for some reason, I wouldn't make a big deal. Everyone has to cut their guest list somewhere  Maybe the bride isn't particularly close with your son and maybe she is with some of the other 20something children in the neighborhood. 

palongi

You are probably right, our son is not particularly close to the daughter, but was included at their engagement party! It's just that it's hurtful....when all his pals are there and he's not. Maybe I'm the one with the issue - thanks for the input!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-northern_etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:56Discussion:6fb1513d-e301-4292-b37c-08582570b21cPost:2ed2d304-86d5-4d07-ae6b-c5bc097f3f35">Re: Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]You could say to the daughter's mother the next time you are together "we received Jane's wedding invitation, how lovely !  We are looking forward to the wedding.  We noticed that John did not receive a seperate invitation and was not included on our invitation.  Was that an oversight? " If you are close to these people that shouldn't be overly offensive.  But, if he isn't invited for some reason, I wouldn't make a big deal. Everyone has to cut their guest list somewhere  Maybe the bride isn't particularly close with your son and maybe she is with some of the other 20something children in the neighborhood. 
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

anglyn

Thats tough. Maybe they are on a tight budget and needed to make some cuts. Since he isn't close to the couple, he shouldn't feel bad to not be invited. If he really wants to go to see the couple get married because they are friends, thats one thing. But, if he really would only want to go because his other friends are going to be in attendence, thats not really a reason that I would bring it up. If they aren't really good friends, that is probably the reason he was excluded from the invitation. 

QueerFemme

I will say, its ridiculous that he was invited to the engagement party but not the wedding.   But, I don't think it's a huge deal.  The bride isn't close to your son, so he didn't get an invite.  I agree with previous poster, that just because his friends are there... doesn't mean he should be.  It's the BRIDE & GROOM's wedding, not a prom.  

palongi

I agree that it's their wedding and not a prom - but when all your friends and their adult kids are invited, and your's is excluded - how would you feel? And this is not about budget!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-northern_etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:56Discussion:6fb1513d-e301-4292-b37c-08582570b21cPost:c28c13d8-6e32-4c7b-a347-42716305c735">Re: Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I will say, its ridiculous that he was invited to the engagement party but not the wedding.   But, I don't think it's a huge deal.  The bride isn't close to your son, so he didn't get an invite.  I agree with previous poster, that just because his friends are there... doesn't mean he should be.  It's the BRIDE & GROOM's wedding, not a prom.  
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

QueerFemme

well, I would feel like the host was rude for inviting my son to the engagement party, but not the wedding.   Other than that, I wouldn't feel any particular way other than, my son isn't necessarily close to the bride/groom.   And honestly, is this you being fussy over this or your son?  Your son, even though he lives at home, is a grown man.  Is he upset?

nic5483

Personally I don't think being invited to the engagement party means he has to be invited to the wedding. I've recently been invited to several bridal showers and bachelorette parties for weddings I'm not invited to because while I'm friends with the brides, they're having super intimate weddings with close family, friends, etc. Since I'm currently planning my own wedding I totally understand and am not offended.