Georgia-Atlanta
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I feel bad about this

My friend is talking about getting married, and I'm totally against it. I feel really bad about being this against it because she's a good friend and he's a good guy, but I just think it's a terrible idea. For one, he's always seemed happy with working a minimum wage job. He's still young, he's 21 and she's 20, but he's never really shown any initiative as far as furthering himself. He's not currently enrolled in college or in any sort of training for a career. He was offered a blacksmithing internship but turned it down, although it was really a wonderful opportunity. They've been living in their own apartment and paying their own bills for less than a year and it's already not working out all that well. 
And also - they're so young! I know I don't have much room to talk, being the same age and all, but if my FI could move in with me without us getting married then I would totally go for that option. Plus, they've always had relationship issues, she's really controlling and very hard to get along with. She's so difficult at times that even though I truly care about her I've decided not to make her a bridesmaid in my wedding for the benefit of everyone else! 
She doesn't seem to see that barely making it every week is fine when you're young and don't have a family, but when your 45 and still working at Gamestop with mouths to feed and no family to turn to it's not okay! Even if she stays in her current job and moves up the ladder, I don't see her under-ambitious boyfriend going anywhere but to another bottom rung retail position. When she's making an "adult" wage and he's still at minimum wage, there will be a lot more stress on the relationship. I fear that even if a marriage between them doesn't end in a messy divorce, they'll end up miserable with each other.
I guess there is no question here, I just needed to give my advice to SOMEONE since I know she'll never listen to me.

Re: I feel bad about this

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    edited December 2011
    They are very young.  Sorry to offend anyone but I was married at 22 and divorced at 26 and I can tell you that a person is not finished growing into who they are going to be at 22.  I'm not saying it can't work out but I cringe when I hear of people in their young 20s getting married. 
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    My_MattMy_Matt member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_georgia-atlanta_feel-bad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:58Discussion:2be2aac9-9617-47a1-99b0-b7c7bf901fedPost:4ef1e08b-8653-4916-adc0-88475c81cc2f">Re: I feel bad about this</a>:
    [QUOTE]They are very young.  Sorry to offend anyone but I was married at 22 and divorced at 26 and I can tell you that a person is not finished growing into who they are going to be at 22.  I'm not saying it can't work out but I cringe when I hear of people in their young 20s getting married. 
    Posted by belletop[/QUOTE]

    A-to-the-men! If I had known now what I even THOUGHT I knew in my 20's, I had made some different choices regarding relationships in general. And don't feel bad. My BFF married the wrong guy, and I told her. I still supported her decision to make a bad choice, but I don't feel bad that I thought (and know) it was a mistake.
    image
    I wonder if Prince William and Kate are registered at Target?
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