Bridesmaid help!

lauraps

Hey ladies,

I need your help . I am having a little bit of a issue with a bridesmaid. My wedding is in a little over 4months and we are ordering bridesmaid dresses at the 4month marker, due to some other crazyness.

Anway I sent the prices and asked that the bridesmaids have money to me in 3 weeks with measurments so I could order together to get the same lot of fabric for all the dresses. One replied back and said she was not thinking that the dresses were going to be that much and that she is going to have to pay some now and some later. Well the store will not order them unless paid in full. I have said she can give me half now in April and the rest in May when I order and then she said it would be better to use a credit card. So I said she will have to come with me the day I order in May and be there to pay for her's in full and she has not replied back to my text. I talked to her yesterday and asked about the dress and she changed the subject.

What do I do? She is one of my close friends and I want her in the wedding but due to budget I cannot pay for her dress. PS my dresses are $160 (Is that a lot) I thought that was pretty average now. Thoughts? I deas?  Thanks  yall!

pokepoke27

Did you not discuss the price of the dress with her before you made a decision on it? If not, then you really should have to avoid this situation. If so, then she should have spoken up sooner if she couldn't afford that much. 

The way I see it - you've got two options. Option one is that you find some way to pay for her dress and let you pay her back. Option two is you let her order the dress on her own whenever she is ready and risk her not being able to order it on time. 

When you agree to be a bridesmaid you are agreeing to purchase a dress and show up all spiffed up on the day. If she can not purchase a dress and you can not purcahse a dress for her - then she will have to forego being in the wedding. 

A few suggestions I could make:

--If you are asking them to purchase shoes, don't. Tell her it's okay to just wear something that would match that she already owns.

--Don't ask her to purchase jewelry

--Don't ask her to get her hair/makeup done. Really if this or any of the above is required then you should be the one paying for it anyways

--Gifts and money to throw parties are never neseccary - however she may be feeling obligated to help with the cost of pre-wedding parties and may want to purchase you a nice gift. Perhaps you could have a serious H2H with her. Ask her why she keeps avoiding the dress subject. If she tells you that she really just can't afford it, you could say something along the lines of "I don't know if you were planning to get me a gift or help plan any showers or my bachelorette party, but if you were maybe you could just help clean and set up instead of giving money. And don't worry about getting me a gift - right now the best gift I could get from you is having you beside me while I'm getting married" 

Hopefully this works out for the best for you.

kimberlykh

I would pay for it and have her pay you back when she has it and feels comfortable paying for it.  Don't make it a big deal and don't make her feel bad for not having the money.  And, don't make her buy certain jewelry or shoes. 

In terms of price, I think $160 is bit high but not too bad.  Keep in mind it will cost more because of alterations.  I've been in a bunch of weddings and I'm trying to remember how much I've paid for dresses.  I want to say somewhere between $125 and $200. 

Don't worry, it'll work out. 

DanieKA

The PP's have given you great advice. At this point, you can't do much. I'd maybe ask her what she can contribute now and cover the rest. Then have her pay you back in small payments or installments, whichever works better for her (but in a reasonable time. It shouldn't take 2 years to pay back $100, KWIM). Hope you work it out!

michellepethel

I actually have a good friend that is going to be in a wedding coming up and she was the one who couldn't pay for the dress. She thought she would have the money, but things came up and she didn't and didn't know when she would. She asked me if it would be rude to just step out of the wedding because she really couldn't afford it, but she felt bad. I think if you two are close friends you should just talk it over and see what works best for both of you.