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Family problems strike again

mandalay_415mandalay_415
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in Colorado-Denver
The problematic SIL/BM has struck again! Seriously, this woman drives me to drink. I'm not sure how to handle the current situation and feedback would be great. She and her husband (also a GM) have a son that will be 1 year, 1 month on the wedding day. He's not involved in the wedding since he's so young. A family friend and guest of the wedding was planning on holding him during the ceremony but will not be able to attend now due to a personal problem at home. So MIL said she was going to hold him during the ceremony and hand him off to his mom or dad if he fusses. I guess I'm not too happy at the thought of the ceremony being stopped so they can calm him down. Don't get me wrong, I understand kids are kids and I'm not expecting our 3 flower girls to be little statues for the ceremony. My worry is the thought of them stopping the ceremony, leaving their "posts" at the altar, calming the baby down and coming back to their place. Any suggestions? And no to the suggestions of a babysitter taking care of the baby...his mom is adamant about some "wacko child molester" (her words) watching her son.
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Re: Family problems strike again

  • VailBride83VailBride83
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got married on the 18th and we had our Rehearsal Dinner at Piney! It turned out beautiful and our guests really loved it a lot. Make sure to remind people to bring a jacket!There is a nice little playground there that all of the little kids played on at our RD. Maybe you could find someone to do a little "in-house" babysitting (maybe even someone who is already attending the wedding in the 8-12 year old range) for the kiddos at the playground. That way they are out of the way, but still in close range for the overly protective mommy.
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  • mandalay_415mandalay_415
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    edited December 2011
    And a sidenote to my FB friends...please don't comment about this with me on there as she's a "friend" and that would create a whole 'nother can of worms! I'm trying to remember where the playground is...is it right next to the main building? That would be a great idea and I can suggest it but I highly doubt she'd let her son be that far from her.
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  • VailBride83VailBride83
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    edited December 2011
    Yes it is right by the main building (by where you walk up). That is crazy if she wouldn't even let her son be there - its seriously like 100 feet away. Wedding ceremonies are only like 20 minutes long. Your wedding is going to be beautiful. I can't tell you how thrilled all of our guests were to be up there. The bonfire was a huge hit!
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  • me2reanme2rean
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    edited December 2011
    Unless the baby doesn't know his grandma very well, I don't think this should be something to worry about. If you can't get this out of your head, pack a few age appropriate toys to occupy him, or a coloring book with a pen that only writes on the paper. Even if your BM has to go grab the baby, I doubt you will even notice (your attention will be on your FI, not the guests or your bridal party) Kids will be kids, I think they add to a wedding, not ruin them. There are soo many things that COULD go wrong, but there is no reason to dwell on them as you probably can't control them. Just hope for the best!
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  • BrideBuddiesBrideBuddies
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like you've not been around too many people with babies, eh?  (Coming from a pregnant woman's perspective here....) So.. would it be a tragedy if your bridal party sat in the front row while you and your FI said vows, etc.?  I've seen that tons of times.   Even your flower girls are going to get super fidgety.. don't you think?  What's your plan for them?And if this baby isn't used to grandma.. he's gonna scream no matter who holds him.
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  • mandalay_415mandalay_415
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    edited December 2011
    BrideBuddies...maybe you should re-read what I posted because I stated none of what you're saying.  I'm having a hard time finding the part where I said I was going to stick the bridal party in the front row...hmm, can't find it.  I said that I know how kids/babies are and am not expecting them to be angels at the ceremony.  My concern was with the baby's parents behavior...not the baby.  I really get tired of your rude comments whenever I post looking for suggestions.
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  • mandalay_415mandalay_415
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    edited December 2011
    Having a toy or something for him to play with is a good idea.  I think the flower girls would enjoy the playground if they get bored.  The ceremony itself is going to be pretty quick and to the point.
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  • BrideBuddiesBrideBuddies
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    edited December 2011
    Mandalay...  sorry you take my frank comments as rude.  I don't tend to pat people on the head and sugar-coat things.  And my reading comprehension is just fine, thank you. I get it.  You are concerned about these parents leaving their "post."   Being in a wedding is not guard duty.  What I'm suggesting is that you could allow your BP to move to the first row of chairs, thus allowing these parents to have their baby sitting there with them.
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  • VailBride83VailBride83
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    edited December 2011
    I think we have all been around enough kids to "get it". No one is asking parents to leave their kids for a week. I really don't think it is too much to ask to have the parents get a sitter for a few hours. Mandalay - I think you are being more than reasonable trying to find something that would work for both of you. A side note though - I had my cousin apologize like crazy to me after the ceremony for her screaming child but I honestly didn't hear anything. A parent that won't let someone else watch their kid for 20 minutes while they are within eye and ear range is a little over the top if you ask me.
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  • mandalay_415mandalay_415
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    edited December 2011
    Again, my concern isn't really with the baby.  I mean, would I prefer a quiet ceremony over one with screaming?  Sure, who wouldn't but my concern is with the baby's parents' behavior.  They have a habit of making everything about them without concern for anyone else and I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to stop the ceremony to quiet the baby.  THAT was my concern.Vail...if you don't mind my asking, how were the roads up to Piney?  We went up the first weekend they were open back in June and it hadn't really been maintained yet.  I believe it took us 45 minutes to get up there.  I'm planning on telling people that's how long it takes so we don't get someone running late and trying to make it up there going 60mph!
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  • me2reanme2rean
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    edited December 2011
    Haha, I can help you with the kiddos, but I can't help with crazy, overbearing spotlight stealers! That sucks, hopefully they will be polite and behave themselves! Just try not to worry about it (easy for me to say, right?). I was worried about a particular guest getting drunk and acting the fool, but he was well behaved and didn't drink anything. People surprise you sometimes when you least expect it....hopefully it's a good surprise!
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