Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

I'm torn. Should I cancel my wedding?

Fiance and I are getting married 6/1/12 at La Luna in Bensalem.  Garden ceremony on site as well.  We were supposed to be having 90 guest.  Our bridal party is our 5 kids (my 3, his 2) and my maid of honor (cousin) and his two best men (brother and best friend).

I already booked the photographer and gave money down on the reception. 
My dilemma is that my family and I aren't talking anymore because of gossip my MOH started.  She and I since have made up.  We used to be very close and always talked about when the time came that either of us got proposed to by our boyfriends.  My boyfriend proposed to me in May of this year.  Hers has yet to ask her.  Ever since I got engaged she has been distant and doesn't really want much to do with me.  She just makes excuses that she is busy.

We went to try on dresses and she didn't like anything.  I'm alot busier than she is.  I have 3 kids and work full time.  Fiance's kid's are over on the weekends.  

Anyway, I just about had it with my family.
I don't know if I can just not invite them.  Or should I just got to city hall and get married and just have a nice honeymoon?  I really wanted our kids at our wedding though.  

When I told my MOH that I'm over sooo over this wedding.  She tells me I should call it off and just go to city hall.  If I go on with the wedding, I feel like I shouldn't invite her.  WIthout my family there, I only have a handful of friends.  I'm usually a loner.  I don't think I know 90 people to invite.  The minimun # of people I can have at the reception is 90.

Oh and if I cancel, what are my options on canceling the reception location? Do I just lose my money?  Or can I transfer it off to someone else?

What should I do? Go ahead with the wedding or cancel and elope?

P.s.  I already got my dress a couple weeks ago.  Cry
 
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Re: I'm torn. Should I cancel my wedding?

  • jessa1228jessa1228 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think part of the talk that you and your MOH had when you made up should have included asking her to admit to your family that what she told them was just gossip and none of it is true (at least that's what I'm assuming). If your family understands this is the case, then maybe they'll come around. Honestly though, it sounds like your MOH is still harboring resentment towards you for what I'm guessing is because your boyfriend proposed and hers hasn't. I'm getting the impression that you really just want a small affair that just includes you, your FI, the kids, and a witness or 2. If talking to your family and MOH doesn't resolve anything, I would go ahead and just get married in front of a JP. Just understand that you will probably be out the money you put down as deposits.
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  • edited December 2011

    Maybe you should talk to your reception site and see if it can be more of dinner type affair as opppose to an all out reception since you may not have the 90 people. I wouldn't cancel my wedding nor would I get married at the JOP, I would keep my photographer, talk with LaLuna, wear my dress and invite the handful of friends I had left to share in my wedding...from what you stated your "friend" sounds like she wants you to go the JOP because she doesn't want you to have a wedding all out of jealousy....

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  • brandidt84brandidt84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should cancel your wedding because that is what your friend  wants you to do. Your wedding is not until next year and the holidays are coming up. Who knows you and your family might start talking again around the holiday's and what is a holiday without your family? I think she is jealous and you should not let anyone stop you from wedding you always wanted....
  • edited December 2011
    Does your FI have family? Maybe they want to be a part of you getting married. How does he feel about a JOP wedding?

    And this girl made it so every single person in your family is not speaking with you and you want to let her convince you to cancel your wedding? Sounds like you should get rid of her and try to make amends with your family.
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  • deija97deija97 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your advice everyone.

    Its a long story but I'll save the details.  My MOH is my cousin's daughter.  It all started with a silly joke between me and her that she went and told her mom about.  Then her mom took the entire thing out of contents and just started gossiping about me with everyone in the family.  I found out about all that was said about me thru MOH.  I was really hurt.  Basically, I can't get over all the negative stuff my family said about me.  I have done nothing but be good to all of them.  I was hurt that MOH started this all but eventually I made up with her. 

    But one thing I do know is that she has been jealous since FI proposed.  She is young (age 20) and I'm 33.  To me she is like a sister or daughter.  She was my best friend. 

    Without my family there I feel so alone but if I have them there I will be feeling like they don't have their best interest in me. 

    FI'sfamily are close and they like me.  So it would be just his family and a few of our mutual friends.

    As far as FI, he thinks having a wedding is a beautiful thing but if its gonna stress me out he's all up for whatever I decide. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Have your wedding. Who cares about how your family is acting. If your concerned on their being an altercation, then just distance yourself from them during the reception. Hope of the best, and hope they won't show! Alot of our cousins who start drama aren't coming to our wedding (we invited them and they told us no. thank god!)
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  • Smile1114Smile1114 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_im-torn-should-cancel-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:78adc53c-59a3-4224-92dc-8b64e2c7a84cPost:314fb539-d972-49ca-9b52-928e6930d1c0">Re: I'm torn. Should I cancel my wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe you should talk to your reception site and see if it can be more of dinner type affair as opppose to an all out reception since you may not have the 90 people. I wouldn't cancel my wedding nor would I get married at the JOP, I would keep my photographer, talk with LaLuna, wear my dress and invite the handful of friends I had left to share in my wedding...from what you stated your "friend" sounds like she wants you to go the JOP because she doesn't want you to have a wedding all out of jealousy....
    Posted by BlissPhilly[/QUOTE]

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  • deija97deija97 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks a million Ladies.
    I spoke to La Luna and they are able to go from 90 to 80 people. 
    I'm okay with that.  We decided to go ahead and continue with our wedding plans.

    It's our wedding not theirs.  Therefore we will make the best of it.  :)
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