June 2010 Weddings

Pre-nup Poll!!

Another thread prompted this...I'm curious, is anyone signing (either their idea or FI's) a pre-nup? What reasons do you have for having one? Is your FI okay with this? (Or if it's their idea, are YOU okay with this?)
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Re: Pre-nup Poll!!

  • Uh, Z... do I have to answer since I already did in the other thread?  Lol.
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  • This is for Knibby:Yes, signing a prenup."Everyone in our family has to sign a pre-nup. (It's mainly bc of the trusts and inheritance once the parents are no longer with us.) Luckily, unless that is added into a joint account, no matter WHAT happens, no one else is able to touch that money.":-D Nope, boo, you don't have to answer! ;-)
  • Neither of us have anything that's worth signing a pre-nup for.  He doesn't have any savings (neither does his family) and I have so much student loan debt that I don't have anything either.  However, I don't have anything against them and everyone's circumstances are different!
  • We will be signing a pre-nup.. His idea.. which I completly agree with.. His family has a couple of business and its just protecting.. They know that nothing would ever happen but its just for protection & I completly agree 100%.. I would feel wierd not signing one.
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  • No, my mom wanted him too, not sure why. I don't own anything but a car. I have student loan debt and so does he. Our families have no money so we have no reason. If he wanted to I would.
  • We don't have anything worth signing one for.  So no pre-nup for us.  Don't have anything against them though.
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  • Lol, thanks Z!!I knew growing up that pre-nups and trusts were a part of the way my step family works.  Mom had to explain a few things but I am fine with it.  They just want to make sure we (his kids, me, and the grandkids) cannot get screwed in the future.I remember SATC when Charlotte had to sign one and went nuts.  Like Miranda said, it's just to cover your ASSets.  :o)Some people have said that thinking about a pre-nup is wishing for a bad marriage.  That you shouldn't be thinking about divorce.  Well, sorry.... but the reality of it is:  1 in every 2 marriages ends in divorce rate now.  You never know WHAT could happen.  It's best to plan for what might/could happen instead of being a child and refusing to look at life the way it really is... unpredictable.
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  • Side note... That statistic is way to high! I hate that...
  • i'm i the same sitch as barrel. absolutely no real reason to have a prenup. there is some land in our family, but my mom and her siblings somehow have the ownership worked out so that their spouses and step-children dont have legal rights to it. i would require prenup if i had inherited land coming to me and there weren't any protections. i would also move/sell all of my assets before a divorce to my mother or brother.
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  • No kidding, B!!  It used to be 1 in every 3.With all the quickie weddings in Vegas (not the planning to get hitched there, I mean the people that meet there and marry in 2 hours), the young girls marrying right out of high school, the girls that marry because of getting preggo but splitting up less than a year later, and all the rest... it's no wonder the rate has gotten worse.
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  • That is true, I just think it is sad. Another side note... I hate it when people who have been divorced tell you not to get married bc theirs ended badly or whatever...
  • that statistic is actually pretty skewed and not necessarily true. (i read this somewhere i dont know where, i need to re-find the article) i think it's something about X marriage end in a year compared to Y marriages happen in a year. so if 500 people get married in a year, and there are 500 divorces/annulments that year that's 50%. I also think that people who are widowed might be in that statistic.... but i'm not sure. so since there are more people who are already married than getting married that year, it doesn't really equal 50% of every marriage in america, just the marriages that were legally started that year.
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  • got ya I think... so if they say 50% of marriages end in divorce they are talking about just for a certain year
  • yea that's how i understood it. so hopefully that's true and i'm not spreading lies, lol. there are also a lot of divorces happening that wouldn't have happened decades earlier- it's not more accepted that women work so if they need to get out of their relationship they have the means, or at least access to the means/resources to seek divorce/ a way out of a bad relationship, domestic violence is now a serious mainstream issue and women can seek divorce and have legal protections. in a lot of states women could not get divorced unless their husbands allowed it, or admitted they beat their wives (in most states beating your wife... and marital rape was not illegal until a couple decades/few years ago). Or you couldn't get divorced unless someone was at fault. (enter: no fault divorce laws)
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  • ***NOW more accepted that women work outside of the home
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  • we're not signing one. FI isn't coming in with anything (except the degree for a way higher paying job than me. lol). i have my retirement fund and an inheritance, but i feel like it's protected since i came into the marriage with it. i should probably find out.either way we're not signing one. if we divorce, it'll be him leaving me and he might as well have my money while he's smashing my heart. ;)
  • apparently in CA, all the $ you come into the marriage with or is given to you as a gift/inheritance during the marriage is yours and can't be divided during divorce. the only thing you divide is the $ you obtain thru wages, etc.
  • On a follow up to the divorce statistic being skewed, people who have numerous divorces also screw up the numbers.  Like someone could get divorced 5 times but you can only not get divorced once in your life meaning that 4 others would need to stay together to give the overall population a 50% divorce rate.  (Obviously I'm talking on a larger scale but you get what I'm saying)As far as a pre-nup, no.  We have nothing lol.  I'll inherit his loans but we're in that together, no reason to draw up paperwork on it.
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  • FI asked me if i would sign one, because of his job... Women are known to marry cops, and then divorce them, and they literally take everything until they die! LOL So he asked i said i would, if he wanted me too, but i dont think we are going to do one..

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  • Riva- if your retirement fund takes cash out of your paycheck and invests it the stock market, I think you can lose a LOT of it in a divorce- money going from your paycheck into your retirement fund is still "wages", just (hopefully) compounded by the stock mkt- but sucky thing is I don't know how you could protect it!I'm not really sure about this... I have a house, no major savings but I do have my 401(k)... and a decent family inheritance- but that can't be touched anyway, right? Ehhh, we'll see
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  • We are not signing a pre-nup.  Sadly I have nothing worth taking, lol.
  • We've been together since college and we pretty much make the same ballpark of money. So no pre-nup. We're in the same boat here. Neither of us has anything worth more than the other.
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  • No pre nup for us. If he wanted me to sign one I would because he owns a business with his father. Ive got nothing. I guess he & his family trust me & that makes me really happy.
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  • No pre-nup. At this point, neither of us has anything worth signing one over. And anything we get from this point on, we'll share in jointly.
  • We don't have anything worth signing a pre-nup for.
  • No pre-nup here... we never even thought of doing something like that. There isn't enough there to be taken I guess. My house is worth alot, but I only have 20% and some change paid down.There will be some money from my mom, but she has already stated that she will probably leave her money to the grandchildren and not us kids. I am fine with that... my mother and her siblings got rich as shiit after my grandparents died, and it has torn the family apart... so money for my kids rather than me makes me happy. Plus I know I will be pretty much set because of working for the government. I have money going into my TSP (equivalent of 401K) and if I stay with the govt as planned, I will have a pension. Plus with being smart and buying this house... i am hoping it will turn out to be the best stupid/crazy investment I made haha.... I just don't see the need. I guess if there were businesses involved and craploads of money that might be a different story. Plus, I know this may sound naive but I don't think FI could ever be THAT evil to eachother. I know I could never be that evil.
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  • we really have no reason to. all we have that is worth anything is our house, which we bought together. i don't care for the pre-nup idea anyways...
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  • Same boat here, We have nothing substantial.  and nothing that either of our parents would leave us would be enough to fight over.  So no pre-nup.
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  • hippie- my retirement is already separate from everything. im not worried about it though. money is just money.
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