October 2010 Weddings

Unity candle and Stepparent....

Hi all,

Need some advice, we're gonna have a unity candle, but the FI's parents are divorced and his father remarried. I'd rather not include her because (a. I don't like her) I don't think it will work well with the whole idea of the unity candle. I really don't want to cause any waves, but anybody got any ideas on how to make it worK?
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Re: Unity candle and Stepparent....

  • Will you have other candles lit at the ceremony? You could each light your tapers from the other candles and then light the pillar candle together...
  • We have the same situation so we are having both the mom and step mom light the unity candle together. 
  • Thanks for the advice guys, the way I was thinking it was each parent would have a candle, light a set of tapers, we take the tapers and light the unity candle. BUT how do I encorporate his stepmom? Do I have her with her own taper lighting it with his dad and mom, or do I have her light his dad's candle, or do I leave her out entirely?
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  • I would ask your FI what he prefers.  If he has no opinion either way I say leave her out.  The unity candle symbolizes two families becoming one so the way I see it is if FI's dad is lighting a taper he is representing himself and the stepmom. 
  • why not just do the your mom and his mom?
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  • In Response to Re: Unity candle and Stepparent....:
    why not just do the your mom and his mom?
    Posted by campergrlsugar
    This is what we're doing too.  my mom and and his mom will walk in together and each light a taper candle during the opening procession.  His step-mom will be in the procession too, she just won't be lighting a candle.
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