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November 2010 Weddings

Smoothing things over..

So i gave my MOH (who is my sister) a list of ladies to invite to my shower (this weekend). She sent out invites to all 40 ppl on the list.. I was expecting her to pick out 12-15 but she wanted to accomidate all.
Well FI's cousin lives over an hour away and she's older than my mother, (uses a cane to get around etc) i decided not to put her on the list because i didn't want her to come all the way out her for a couple hours and then have to drice back home. FI's granmother called my MOH and yelled at my BIL (he answered the phone) that she was RSVPing for he niece who should have been invited and she was coming because niece was giving her a ride.
I was shocked when my mom told me and called MOH right away I guess BIL wasn't that bothered but now my sister is really upset that she left someone out and now they are coming.
I am not sure how to approach the situation, do i make a phone call, do i wait til saturday.. Should i just talk to the niece and explain why she wasn't on the list. Do i just leave it all alone??
FI insists on talking to his granmother about how she handled the situation and how she talked to my BIL, honestly though BIL doesn't care since he has nothing to do with the shower at all.
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Re: Smoothing things over..

  • Hmmm. I think the *right* thing to do, if you could go back in time, would be to invite her and let her make her own decision about not attending; you could've always followed up the invite with a phone call and made it clear you wouldn't be offended if she didn't come.

    FGIL was a rude...but I do think you should smooth things over with the cousin, especially since you sent out 40 shower invites and to others who presumably live far away (like the grandmother).

    Maybe have FI call his grandmother and explain the cousin was inadvertantly left off the list, and you all are very happy she can make it?
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  • I'd just lie and say it was an oversight or that it got lost in the mail
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  • Just say sorry and that you are glad that she's coming.  Leave it at that.  Don't make a bigger deal out of it.

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  • In Response to Re: Smoothing things over..:
    I'd just lie and say it was an oversight or that it got lost in the mail
    Posted by fallbride'10
    Haha that's what I was getting at with my post too.
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  • I agree with "it got lost in the mail" - it happens regularly so it's believable.

  • I agree with PP's...if it hasn't already been said that she was intentionally not invited, go with the oversight or lost in the mail route.

    Otherwise just say you're sorry but that you are glad she will be able to attend the shower.
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  • yeah, i had the same thing happen.  this elderly lady who i lived next door to when i was a kid found out I was having a bridal shower (we invited this lady's daughters as they are close friends of my mom's).  Well... she was pretty livid that she didn't get an invitation so my mom said, "Oh, I know she sent you one (which I didn't)!  I'm not sure what happened to it!  Must have gotten lost.  I'll get you another copy."

    And that was that.
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  • In Response to Re: Smoothing things over..:
    I agree with "it got lost in the mail" - it happens regularly so it's believable.
    Posted by robynann07

    True.  Two of my shower invitations got lost in the mail, apparently, and when MOH called to follow up on their RSVPs, they hadn't gotten anything.
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  • ok well that's what i'm going to do!! thanks!!
    the other guests live closer, even FI's GMA.. this cousin will pass my shower and drive another 40 mins to get Gma and then do it all again when it's over...  total she's probably gonna drive 3 hours for a 2 hour party...
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