Canada-Toronto

Wishing Well Wedding??

To register or not to register...
My FH and I have been living together for 5 years and we have everything that a couple would need. Certainly we could upgrade, but replenishing our saving account for a house is more important. 
How does one state that on the invitation? A friend told me that it is called a "Wishing Well Wedding" if you are only asking for cash instead or gifts. True? False? And how would I write that on the invite?
And yes, I am opting out of a shower.... I am open to a party (love parties), but NO GIFTS!!!
Thanks
Anniversary

Re: Wishing Well Wedding??

  • achiduckachiduck
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    You don't. Putting anything on the invitations that refers to gifts (even if it's no gifts) is bad etiquette.

    If you are hoping for cash gifts you create a very small registry and hope people will get the hint. You could also inform your parents of your wishes and then when someone asks them if you're registered they can say "they're registered at XYZ Store but they're saving for a house."
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    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I wouldn't even register anywhere at all.

    People who want to buy you gifts still will but most people will get the hint.
    Anniversary

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  • LittlinLittlin
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Please DO NOT put anything about wanting cash or gifts or anything on your invitation that has to do with presents.  The only time a present is technically required is at a shower - the purpose of which is to give gifts.  Presents are not required for any other wedding event, including the wedding itself!  People are usually just extremely generous!
  • edited December 2011
    I do think it's ok to write something like "no gifts please, your presence is all we require" but then, don't expect cash either.
    Anniversary

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  • Jewel224Jewel224
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    It's not okay to include anything about gifts on the wedding invite.  Simply have a small registry and make sure that your parents, in-laws and your bridal party know to spread the word when asked about gifts as a PP suggested. 

    The reason for this is that it gives the impression you are inviting people to your wedding for the purpose of them giving you money, i.e. paying for your wedding, honeymoon, etc. when really it's suppose to be about celebrating the union between you and your FI.  I have known people in the past who have put "Cash only, please" in their invite, and because of that, people either bought them a gift, put $20 in an envelope or not attend the wedding at all. 

    Most people will understand when you have a small registry or none at all that money is what you'd like/need. Definitely have the wishing well at your reception, that will tell people where to put their envelopes but as Littlin said, keep in mind that at weddings, gifts are not to be expected.
  • colourzcolourz
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Do not put that on your invite. You can choose not to register anywhere. If someone asks about your registry, they can be told that you don't really need anything as you've been out on your own for years. Those that believe in gifts will choose one by themselves. Most people will understand and give cash.
  • Jewel224Jewel224
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I would advise to get a small registry because there will be people as Colourz says who believe in giving gifts only.  You can use your registry to update items that may have some wear and tear - e.g. who doesn't need a good qualityfrying pan or some new towels?  That way it appeases those who are gift givers as well.
  • edited December 2011
    THANK YOU!!
    Please know that I understand that weddings are about celebrating and enjoying life and not for the sole purpose of getting something in return.
    I also know my family and if history repeats itself, they will be the typical amazing people they are and want to give something.
    I will probably register for a few items and/or perhaps a honeymoon registry.
    Thanks again for the advice.
    Anniversary
  • mattycammattycam
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011

    We did not include any preference on our invites so guests asked my parents or bridal party. Word of mouth is the best way to let people know that you prefer a monetary gift. We still however set up a registry because everyone's income varies and some people who want to give a gift would prefer to buy something than put a dollar amount in a card.

  • edited December 2011
    Who doesn't prefer a monetary gift though?  I could use the money to buy whatever gift you were going to buy me.

    I was brought up to always give cash at a wedding, and a gift at a shower.
    Anniversary

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