Children

ValSmitty

Hey all! Not sure if this answer is up or not (searched with little success)...

My FH and I have decided NOT to allow children at the reception. For several reasons including: we want their parents to have a great time and not worry about the kiddies and also well... lets face it... kids get into things and I don't want to worry about them making a mess.

Thoughts? Feelings?

My Uncle has two young girls and they live far North and their babysitter (my cousin) in invited as well. I mentioned this to him and he didn't say it, but I have a feeling he may have a problem with it.

Thanks Brides-to-be!

Littlin

We didn't have any children at the reception (although a few brought them to the ceremony which wasn't a problem) and cut the age off at my 16-year old cousins for attending the reception.  

Just address the invitations to the specific people invited, and if you want to be sure, on the reply card, ask guests to provide the names of people attending and the total number, so that you can catch issues with people thinking they can bring children before the big day.  You can't please everyone, and inviting children is a budget issue for many brides, so most will understand.

SNTJ2012

I ADORE children, and really thought our wedding wouldn't be the same without the little pitter patter of feet, but we have decided to have a small wedding of 100 guests and children would have brought the number up to 115 + at the first venue we were looking at children's meals (chicken fingers & fries) would have cost 1/2 the adult meal price (so like $60) and we thought that was simply ludicrous...so that is how we came to the decision not to have children at our wedding.

We ended up booking another venue (that doesn't charge quite as much for kids meals), but we have stuck with our decision because we asked a few parents their thoughts and they didn't seem to feel strongly about bringing their children.

unplainjane

that's fine if you decide no children. and you can't please everyone. the guests that may have problems with this may just not attend if you're cool with that.

Jewel224

I agree with PPs.  There's nothing wrong with that, but keep in mind that OOT guests like your uncle may not attend, especially if their sitter is attending your wedding as well.  If they have small children and have to travel, it's likely they may not attend, so as long as you realize that, then you're good.

The other thing to keep in mind is if that becomes your rule, then you have to enforce it because if you let one couple bring their children and other people whom you've told are not allowed to bring them, you may have some upset people.

blush64

There's nothing wrong with not inviting kids. As PPs said, if you make a no kids rule stick to it. (or have a clear cut line such as only the kids in the wedding party)

mattycam

Definately nothing wrong with an adult reception especially to keep costs down. In our invitation we put the names of the guests that were invited (ex. Mr. & Mrs. ____) and in the invitation we had a slip saying "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour. This way guests know the amount of seats that are saved in their family so they can't assume anything.

ThereseLean

I'm not having children at my wedding either. It was a hard decision seeing as that means my niece wouldn't be coming and my mother isn't too happy with it but we just can't afford to have them! 

Joanne1984

I am going to go against PPs and say that for me, not having children there isn't an option. To tell my family and friends that they are cool but their kids aren't seems wrong to me. That would mean that my neice and nephew, cousins and MOHs children would not come. Knotties continuously remind each other that at a reception we are hosts and should treat our guests as if they were in our own homes. Children are allowed at my home, why wouldn't I allow them at my wedding?

I respect the decision of others to not have children. But I respectfully disagree with their reasons. PPs have said they can't afford to have them. If you wanted them there, you would find a way to afford it. 

ValSmitty

Thank you all so much for your posts!!!

You have given me a lot to think about and consider.

mattycam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:613Discussion:4f49762e-42ed-411d-bab4-4d6a7686aed3Post:fcedf06f-af27-4849-9039-d2543746d396">Re: Children</a>:
[QUOTE]I am going to go against PPs and say that for me, not having children there isn't an option. To tell my family and friends that they are cool but their kids aren't seems wrong to me. That would mean that my neice and nephew, cousins and MOHs children would not come. Knotties continuously remind each other that at a reception we are hosts and should treat our guests as if they were in our own homes. Children are allowed at my home, why wouldn't I allow them at my wedding? I respect the decision of others to not have children. But I respectfully disagree with their reasons. PPs have said they can't afford to have them. If you wanted them there, you would find a way to afford it. 
Posted by Joanne1984[/QUOTE]

I had children at my wedding as well  but only family. I am just saying that if someone wants to have an adult reception there are ways to do it without having a family show up that cannot be accomodated because of how the invitation was written. There are people whose guest list would double if they were to invite children so I respect getting an invitation with me and my husbands name and not our family. If guests are aware beforehand what kind of wedding that the bride and groom are hosting, they can decide if they are able to make accomodations for their children or simply decline.

Jewel224

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:4f49762e-42ed-411d-bab4-4d6a7686aed3Post:fcedf06f-af27-4849-9039-d2543746d396">Re: Children</a>:
[QUOTE]I am going to go against PPs and say that for me, not having children there isn't an option. To tell my family and friends that they are cool but their kids aren't seems wrong to me. That would mean that my neice and nephew, cousins and MOHs children would not come. Knotties continuously remind each other that at a reception we are hosts and should treat our guests as if they were in our own homes. Children are allowed at my home, why wouldn't I allow them at my wedding? I respect the decision of others to not have children. But I respectfully disagree with their reasons. PPs have said they can't afford to have them. If you wanted them there, you would find a way to afford it. 
Posted by Joanne1984[/QUOTE]

It's not about not wanting them there, as another PP has stated.  If I invited all the children on both my side and my FI's side, it would be another 80 -100 people because we both have huge families.  Just my FI's side alone is huge - his mom has 5 siblings; his dad has 8 siblings and all the siblings have an average of 3 kids each, and almost all of his first cousins have an average of 2 kids each - so you can do the math there.  And that's not including my side.  Since the average price per child with the venues I checked is around $45, with 80 more people, that's $3600 without the taxes and gratuities.  Not everyone has that kind of money.

As it is, it looks like we'll have to cut down the list of first cousins, otherwise, we wouldn't be able to have any friends at our wedding as we're trying to keep our guest list at or below 200 people.  So just keep in mind - it's not about not wanting children there.  If I could afford to have all the kids there, I would.  :)

BMcLeodTeam

As PPs stated, your guests with younger children may choose not to attend because their children aren't invited. As long as you are ok with this, I see no issue wtih it

nannytainment

Have you discussed the possibility of wedding childcare with them, and that perhaps it is something they may coordinate among themselves. This is something my own family does. Yes the parents want to have a good time and not be embarrassed about their children out of control, this is why they talk among themselves and hire someone together.