Canada-Toronto

Wedding Party Gift Compromise?

Our wedding is about 1.5 hours out of town and as the various events will take place throughout the weekend, the wedding party will likely want/need to stay on site.

I thought it would be a nice idea to cover the hotel rooms for our attendants and their spouces for the weekend instead of giving them a gift. However, as this "gift" would cost us about $2,000 my FI is only willing to cover one night instead of two.

I feel bad as we are asking them to give up an entire weekend, plus time for various jobs and events throughout the proccess. Is it tacky to ask them to pay for one of the nights? Or do you think that they will have assumed that they will need to pay for their accomodations?

Another option would be to give them the option to share a room with another attendant (and spouces) and then my FI would agree to cover the two nights as it's the same cost essentially, but is that a tacky thing to suggest when they would be sharing a room with someone they don't know extremely well? 

Help!

Re: Wedding Party Gift Compromise?

  • LittlinLittlin
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I think they will assume that they must pay for the accomodations themselves.

    I paid for a suite for the four bridesmaids and myself to stay in the night before the wedding, which was apart from their gift.  Everyone knew each other quite well (3 roommates from university and sister in law).  They paid for rooms themselves the night of the wedding, and a few attendants (both bridesmaids and groomsmen) did choose to stay together, while others stayed with their significant others.
  • unplainjaneunplainjane
    500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    this is totally up to you and what you can afford. i would think your attendants would assume to be paying for their own accomodation. we had a similar situation with our wedding out of town and we had rehearsal the night before. so our WP and some family had to stay 2 nights. we only had a BM and MOH though. so we paid for their 2 nights. we also offered to pay for family that were staying 2 nights and they all refused our offer. though some close family was staying just for the reception night and we paid for them.

    do what you can afford. but don't feel obligated. but at the same time don't expect that everyone will be able to stay for the 2 nights. some people may only stay for one night and miss some events. i don't think it's tacky to say we can cover one night to each attendent and leave it at that. i don't know if 2 couples would want to share a room like you suggested. if they are single attendents they may not mind sharing a room.

    oh as well i don't see covering their accommodation a gift. they are required to be there. that's not a gift. we just got our attendants a nice bottle of ice wine.
  • mattycammattycam
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    I agree that I think our wedding party will know that they are expected to make the necessary accomodations. If you did decide to pay for one night, it would definately eleviate the costs for them.
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