briadsmaid not coming to rehearsal dinner

shortangel1982

i have very mixed feelings about one of my briadsmaids not coming to the rehearsal dinner at a restuarant that my mom has choosen, but she is coming to the rehearsal at the church.  she is a happily married girl, but will not come to the rehearsal dinner because one of her ex boyfriends work at this restuarant, whom we don't even know if he will be working that night.  plus i'm sure he wouldn't even approach us or bother us because there will be to many people around with us.  i told her i was fine with it (which i am in a way) but i find it to be a very childish reason.  i have received a lot of flab about it and plan on letting her know.  just wanted to see what people here thought about it.

dokchampa

It's really not a big deal, is it? She's at the rehearsal and the wedding, the most important parts.  

melfacto

I don't see it as a big deal, my cousin will be missing our rehersal at the church as well as dinner, as she has a huge exam the next morning, i will simply go over things with her the following day... it seems very childish to me, but to each there own!

Patgd

I wouldn't worry too much about it.  She's able to make it to the rehearsal which is where you need her to be and she may have bigger reasons why she doesn't want to be around her ex than she has filled in any of your family on.

LILIPAD27

^ what she said

LILIPAD27

^ what she said

StephieBow

One of my BMs skipped the whole thing

At least she's coming to the important part which is the rehearsal!

As a side note, could you ask the restaurant not to have him scheduled in for that night?

Jewel224

Perhaps there are other reasons she doesn't want to be there that you haven't considered - maybe there are too many memories of him and that restaurant.  Chances are if he's worked there for awhile, she's well known in their circles and perhaps she does not want to encounter those people as well. I'm sure we all have places or things we associate with an ex that we'd rather not encounter again, right?

Whatever the case, as with other PPs, she's coming to the rehearsal at the church which is the most important part.  Attendance at the rehearsal dinner isn't a mandatory thing. 

colourz

I think you should be more supportive of your friend. She will be at your rehearsal and your wedding.