Catholic & Lutheran Ceremony?

tinydancer842

Hi,My FI was raised Catholic & I was raised Lutheran. Neither one of us is particularly religious, however the only people who we have in mind to marry us are my pastor and his relative (who is a retired Monsignor (sp?) in the Catholic Church.) First, do you think it is possible to have a Catholic Priest and a Lutheran Pastor marry us at the same time? (we are getting married at the reception site.) Also, do you think b/c his relative is higher up in the Catholic church he will want me to convert to Catholocism? This is just an idea we are tossing around, but any thoughts would help, TIA!

Leah&Christian09

If you aren't religious, you shouldn't have a church ceremony. 

Calypso1977

i agree with pp on not having a religious ceremony if you arent religious.however, if you think that religion may play a role in your lives later, you must give this some thought.99.99% of the time a catholic priest will not marry you outside of the church.  the thing to keep in mind is that if you marry with a lutheran officiant versus a priest/deacon in the catholic church, the catholic church will consider your marriage invalid.  you will essentially be "living in sin" as far as the church is concerned.  however, if you marry in teh catholic church, teh lutheran church will recognize your marriage (and you dont have to convert to do this).  to me, that seems to be the win-win, becuase neither of you will have ot give up your faith.i believe you can have both officiants there, if you want to have your lutheran pastor present.  you may just need to get some additonal paperwork/permissions from the church in order to do so.

Jay&Marissa

the thing to keep in mind is that if you marry with a lutheran officiant versus a priest/deacon in the catholic church, the catholic church will consider your marriage invalid. you will essentially be "living in sin" as far as the church is concerned. Are you sure that is true? I thought that any Christian marriage is reconized. All I could find in the catechism is:"The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent"It doesn't specify Catholic, just baptized. I was under the impression that it becomes an issue when the marriage is purely civil (i.e. God is not involved), but that Catholics recognize other marriage in Christian churches

Calypso1977

marissa, the way i understand it is that they recognize Christian marriages as valid, but if there is a baptized Catholic involved, tehn teh marriage must be performed in the Catholic church for the Catholic church to recognize it.meaning, two lutherans or a lutheran and an episocpalian or two jews can marry and they recognize it.  but a catholic and a jew marrying jewish, it wont be recognized.

tinydancer842

I think I will have to ask my FI's relative his take on it & see what he says...thanks for all your help!

Samantha484

Here is a really important point that may be useful:A catholic priest can do a renewal of vows ANYWHERE.Yup. :)So-- if you really want that Lutheran service, you could do it before hand, and then ask his relative to do a renewal of vows the day of your reception.As a monseginor, and a retired one at that, he wont be beholden to the usual crazy rules and regulations that many of the priests would be inclined to stick pretty hard to- and he may be willing to bend a bit for you guys, seeing as how you're family.Getting married in the catholic church means that your marriage is being recognized as a sacrament.  Priests can, and sometimes will do a marriage ceremony outside the catholic church- BUT- they are usually retired, and or not associated with any particular parish, and they'll usually be pretty clear that the Catholics wont recognize it later on down the line (but really, if it becomes important for you guys to have it be recognized, you can easily do what is called a convocation ceremony, its basically a wedding ceremony, for people who are already married).Some food for thought.

PolarBearFans

Samantha, from what i understand the convocation ceremony is not something that can be easily done. OP, since your FI is catholic, for the church to recognize the marriage, it has to be done inside a catholic church. I am not sure how important that is to your FI or his family. I would suggest you meet with a priest from his family's church to discuss your options so you at least have all the information needed to make an imformed decision. I am sure his relative will also have some information for you.

Calypso1977

a vow renewal is NOT the same as a convalidation.  a vow renewal is just reciting your vows again, but there is no sacrament given, becuase you've already received it.  a convalidation is the same thing as a catholic wedding done the first time around, becuase technically, in the eyes of the Church, you never received the sacrament the first time, becuase you either married outside of the church or there was some other impediment to the marriage.  these are typically not that easy to get, and are usually performed for people who were away from the church for a period of years, then returned and during hte period they were away, married outside of teh church, or later converted to catholicism and want to receive the sacrament.  a priest will surely ask why you arent doing the catholic wedding in the first place.

Truchana

Ok, the answer is yes and no.   Yes you can have a joint wedding ceremony with a Lutheran pasture and a priest in either a Catholic church or lutheran church.  The key is, it MUST be in a church for the priest to even consider it.  It can't be at a reception site, outside, etc.  It has to be in some form of a church.  That is a Catholic rule.  I'm not familiar with lutheran rules. my parents did this 30 years ago, so it is most absolutely acceptable. where you may run into issues is the fact that neither one of you are very religious and you may have difficulty finding someone to marry you for that reason, not that it will be two different religions.

tinydancer842

Yea my mom was Catholic and my dad Lutheran -- they compromised with a catholic church and a lutheran pastor (I believe), but that was the 70s so I assumed times have changed. I know my pastor would marry us at the reception site, but I'm not sure if the FI's relative would. So I will find out and get back to you girls! Thanks again