Engaged Couples Retreat....

maxblondie

I'm sure this has already been discussed, but can anyone give me an idea of what to expect during our weekend retreat? Does it vary depending on the area we live in or is it pretty much the same everywhere? I live in San Antonio and I posted on my local board, but only received one response. Our retreat is this weekend and we're both getting a little nervous about it. Any input to ease our nerves would be great! Thanks, Katrina

tnspight

We didn't choose the retreat but a 2.5 hour class.  There were several topics for discussion in our packet.  The facilitator would explain the Church's view, his life experience, and  have us go off and discuss it together.  Except for a brief bio in the beginning, we didn't discuss anything with the other people in the class.  When I mentioned that to our priest, he said that it's unusual to have people discuss their answers with the group.  I know this isn't exactly what you needed, but I hope it helps.

holly8358

This retreat is really good.  My FI and I got a lot out of it.  Basically, it's a series of talks about various marriage related topics given by a few married couples.  We had a couple that had been married for 30+ years and a couple that had been married for 5 years.  After each talk, you're given time to write out responses to questions related to the talk by yourself and then time to talk about your responses with your FI.  No group sharing at all, just you and your FI.  It was nice to have the time to really nail down some issues that we hadn't worked out yet.  In the middle of wedding planning hell, it was a weekend just to work on our relationship.  Well worth the time.  Some of it is a little cheesy, but just smile through it! Plus, we met a bunch of other Catholic couples getting married in our area.  That was nice too.  HTH!

maxblondie

Thank you both for your responses. That's what I needed to hear. We've been worried that we would have to do some kind of group sharing and neither of us would have been very comfortable with that. We've been looking forward to being able to have this weekend to spend together but the closer it got we started to overthink what was in store for us. Thanks again for helping settle my nerves. Katrina

amberoye

Wow... I was there too!

scoffindaffer

Any ideas for how to get my fiance more excited about it? He really isn't looking forward to going cause he feels we've already talked about so much. I think there's always more things to learn--has anyone else had this trouble?

dogluver315

scoffindaffer - My FI and I said we had talked about everything also but when we got to our weekend, we realized there were things that we discussed but in a different light. Our weekend was over Valentine's Day and was so wonderful. What better way to spend a romantic holiday than at a prewedding retreat with the one you love. For us, this weekend was the most wonderful weekend. We learned so much and the time we spend with each other (no phone, no tv) was priceless. I wish all couples (non-religious also) could experience this weekend. Our diocese is great because if you can't afford the fee, they will help with it. Our priest is one of the few priests in our area that requires the weekend, not just the afternoon session. He has studied Cannon Law extensively and has sat on the Tribunal for annulements and has seen a lot. I would just tell your FI to relax and take everything in. Tell him to be openminded and to enjoy the time you will spend together.

amberoye

Our retreat had phone, TV, and lots of stuff to do (it was at a camp/resort place). One thing that FI and I learned was the importance of Christ in our relationship. Sure the issues of finances, communication...etc can be discussed, but if you are entering into a sacrament it's so important to understand the Lord's role. If anything, think of it as a vacation to meet some new people and get a new perspective. We thought we knew everything too, but we didn't :P

dogluver315

PP is so right about God being involved in the relationship. This is the biggest thing I'm so excited to be married is that my FI and I are entering a covenant with God. I live in FL and so many couples do beach weddings with a notary marrying them and never bringing God into their ceremony. For us, God is the reason we are together and God will definitely continue to be a part of our lives.

maxblondie

We attended our retreat this weekend and it was great. My FI and I hadn't really talked about some of the issues that were discussed and I'm really glad we had the opportunity to do so. Sure, a lot of the talks may have seemed not to apply to us, but just to be able to go really deep in our hearts and discuss so openly with one another was a great feeling. On our way there we were both nervous - kind of like the first day of school - but we then realized that all the ppl we would meet were there for the same reasons we were. That was comforting. And once we got there, the couples we met were all amazing! For those who aren't looking forward to this or who's FI are making it difficult my advice would be to keep an open mind and heart - God only wants the best for each of us. And without Him as our foundation to our marriages, our future challenges may be more than we'll be able to handle.... Amberoye - were you at the retreat @ T bar M this weekend?

amberoye

Yes I was! Sooooo worth it, right?

maxblondie

It sure was! We would love to do another retreat once we're married. I really wanted to stay for the NFP session, but my FI was totally exhausted by then. We'll have to do that in the future now. How did you like Jake and Ramie? Oh - just in case you don't remember me - you and your FI were our judges when we had our putt-putt playoff. I was on the losing team. haha

amberoye

I can't remember who won or lost...did your FI have glasses? Oh, and I thought about staying for NFP, but we were exhausted also! Jake and Ramie (or was it Ramey?) were excellent, you could tell they had true passion for what they do. We plan on going back for enrichment also, I never knew our archdiocese did so much for us!

maxblondie

I know - I didn't realize that so much was offered to couples. It's a great feeling though to know that the resources are available should we ever need them. What did your FI think about the retreat? And yes - he has glasses. I was the one in the dress.

amberoye

We both really enjoyed it, it was pretty tiring. I know we both benefited a lot of from the real-life issues that Ramie presented. Jake's focus seemed to be more on the spiritual aspects. I liked the presentation on finances, we both needed that reminder that wealth really shouldn't be a goal. I can't say I enjoyed the group prayer because I was so concerned with making sure I was reading correctly, I wasn't really praying!