time gap...

becca2088

how long are your time gaps between ceremony and reception?  Im kind of freaking out about that...

nooniesinlove

I refuse to look at reception venues that would give me any kind of gap.I'm hoping to make it non-existant.If there's any way you can make it go away, I would try.  It's relatively rude to have a gap.

dora12

Well in my case we have an hour gap between the end of the mass and the reception because we wanted that time to take pictures with all our guest and family afterwards. Also, in my area most reception sites are rented out starting at 6pm so there wasn't much we could do about that. But is not a reason to freak out, enjoy the time in between. Take your time with pictures and getting to the reception.

Truchana

While a gap isn't the most convienent option, if you live in an area where they are normal, it's not a big deal.  Just provide a list of plausible options guests can do in between or have someone host something at their homes or a hotel.  Mine is about 2 hours.   Unless i wanted to start m reception at 3:30, there was nothing I could do. 

procowarner15

Our ceremony is at 2:00 and the cocktail hour starts at 4:00. We are doing a recieving line after the ceremony so until that is over there will be less then an hour gap. Plus there is some travel time between and they are allowed in the reception hall starting at 2:30, the bar just wont open up until 4, and thats when the DJ starts as well.

alliecarrie41

we were not interested in having a gap, so we made sure there wasn't one!  friday wedding ceremony at 4pm, went until 5pm, 5:30 to get through receiving line, and cocktails began at 6pm 20min. down the road.  worked out perfectly!

Leah&Christian09

IMO, gaps are rude.  We found a venue that would work with us on the time slot.  The cocktail hour started immediately after the ceremony, while we did pictures.

GulfCoaster

I think gaps are rude, and as a guest I've always been quite bored by them.  So, when I got married, we made sure we didn't have one.  Friday evening wedding, began at 5, over at 6, short receiving line, dinner immediately following.There are ways around it even if you get married on a Saturday.  A friend of mine just got married last weekend (in the same area as you, judging by your profile) and had about a half-hour gap... Mass at 1:30, over at 2:30, receiving line afterward, 30 minute drive to reception venue, cocktail hour beginning at 3:30, dinner beginning at 5.  Another friend recently got married (again, in the same area as you) and did a Saturday morning wedding... Mass at 10:30, over at 11:30, 20 minute drive to reception venue, drinks and hors d'oeuvres beginning at noon, lunch served at 1 p.m. when the couple arrived.  It was also very nice.There are venues out there that you can rent before 6 p.m. on a Saturday -- sometimes it takes more work to find them, but they are out there.

tnspight

As a wedding guest, I hate gaps.  If you have oot guests, you should arrange for them to have something to do.  We are having a cocktail hour after the ceremony.  Also, we're taking as many pics before the ceremony as possible.  Our wedding/reception are all in one place.  We were lucky to find a site that used to be a seminary and is now a boutique hotel/retreat center/banquet center/27-hole golf course operated by the archdiocese.  OOt guests can even go up to their rooms if they want.

ffmaid

It was planned for 10 minutes but having big group family photos of brides family then grooms family took those 10 minutes more then traffic for the hordoeuvers hour to startHonestly a large gap is not a sign of being Catholic but failing to plan well. What can you do that would keep your guests from ending up at the local pub drinking beer watching football and chatting about how obnoxious the gap is??? ( ie how can you host immediatly?

becca2088

my time gap is an hour....and its close to the hotel that we refered them to stay...i figured they can go freshen up and then go to cocktail hour at 4....time gaps are common in my area....i dont think an hour will hurt anyone...relax

Calypso1977

we had no gap. we did an 11am wedding, which wrapped at 1215, reception was at 1230, about 5 miles away.

Laura&Kieran

I have to say the only time I've ever heard anyone refer to the time gap as rude is on messages boards.  I live in NY and its uncommon NOT to have a gap.  Most churches will only marry you at certain times - and any catering hall I've been to already has set times for receptions.  The times between the two do not always work out.  I've never EVER heard anyone complain - myself included.  Our mass is at 2:30 (my preference would have been 4 but the only other option was 4:30, too late) and our reception is at 5:30.  We figure we should be done about 3:30/3:45(ish)  By the time everyone leaves the church area and walks the few blocks to where the bus is picking them up it will be 4.  The bus will be leaving to the reception at 5pm arriving at 5:30.

mbcdefg

Our ceremony will start at 2, and the cocktail hour will begin at 6. Figure that the ceremony and a receiving line will be over by 3, 3:30. There's about 30-45 minutes of travel time (considering traffic and people getting lost) to the reception hall. They also said they'd open at 5:15 with champagne and seating in case anyone gets there early. People staying in our booked hotel will be able to check in, drop off their stuff and relax for a bit. Plus my parents said they would host people at their home after the ceremony, or in the church basement, with some light refreshments - so that gives non-hotel guests an option of something to do. I wasn't thrilled with a gap, but the other ceremony option was 5:30, and in order to give people time to travel to the site and check into the hotel if need be, we'd probably have to start cocktail hour around 7:30 or 8 (and the party would end around 1 a.m.). And that's not even allowing much time for traffic or wrong turns.

ItsMyDayNHis2

I have not been to but a handful of weddings that there wasnt a gap.  I agree with the PP, the only place I hear complaining is on these boards. In our area it is very common to have an hour to 2 hour gap.  I have been to 6 weddings in the last 9 months.  They have all had about an hour gap. 

Pirata13

We will be having a non-Eucharist ceremony at 2pm. We may do a receiving line depending on what time guideline my priest gives us to get out of there (vigil mass is at 4pm).  Our reception is about 20 mins away.  Several people may need that time to check into the hotel, others can take a few moments in my neighborhood, where there is a plethora of bars and small shops.  We don't want to start the reception any earlier than 4pm since we only have hall for 5 hours, and 9pm is going to super early to some people for a reception to end to begin with...

mam677

Our ceremony starts at 2 and the reception begins at 3:30 p.m. The chapel is about four miles from the venue so I figure there's a slight gap, but hopefully not too bad. I hate having the reception start that early, however, I don't want to lose people.

chicagobride_07

We had a huge gap- ceremony over at 2 PM, reception began at 6:30. During this time, we went around the city in a trolley and took pictures with the bridal party. We sent a list of activities/places to see in advance for our OOT guests (wedding was in downtown Chicago).  The BM's aunt also hosted a little get together at her home, which was in walking distance from everything. I loved the way our day turned out.  The only negative was the extended time we had to pay for photo and video. I realize that there is a bias against gaps from what I've seen on these message boards.  I did not know this when I was planning, and I'm very happy I didn't because it would have been stress for nothing.  Everything worked out perfectly.

Leah&Christian09

I hate having the reception start that early, however, I don't want to lose people. That was pretty much the same timing as ours. It actually worked out great. We did an hour for cocktails, then 4 for reception and ended at 9:00. It was early enough that the older guests were able to stay until the end, but it was still evening. Most of the younger guests went over to the hotel bar and had an afterparty until the wee hours. At first, I thought it was too early, but with the afterparty, it was perfect. They wouldn't have been able to really do the afterparty if we'd gone to midnight.

Truchana

In all reality, at least where I am from, guests do not skip the reception when there is a gap, they skip the ceremony, and it's usually just out of town guests. I have family that lives in Detroit. The latest I can have ceremony is 1:30.  They would have to get a babysitter for their children 11:30 am until midnight or so.  Instead, they just skip the ceremony, and head up around 4 or 5.Again, gaps are not always the most convienent option, but most people in our area would rather have a gap then a Friday wedding, which I personally find extremely inconvienent, especially when you are out of town because you have to take vacation day for Friday, or a wedding that starts at noon.

ootmother2

Move to NYC, the lover of all reception gaps!No clue why but it is just that.

Ainslie325

Ceremony at 4:00, ending just before five. Cocktails begin at 6:00 nearby. I would have preferred half an hour earlier, but I'm deferring to FI on this one.

Riss91

In my area (NY Metro) it's pretty much expected that there will be a gap. No one thinks twice about it. I have been to weddings with 3 hour time gaps. Contrary to many on these boards, I personally do not find them to be a big deal. I do recommend that you somewhat accommodate your guests with suggestions of where they may relax in-between (if possible, you could provide a hospitality suite at a nearby hotel - especially if you have a very long gap).  Our gap will be about an hour. Fortunately, many of our guests will be staying at a nearby hotel, and will not be able to check-in before the ceremony, so they will have to use that time to check-in. The hotel has a nice lobby with comfy chairs and a bar so I'm not too worried about the gap.You have to think about YOUR guests and what you think they will need. You can't always go by what people say on these boards.

cyndarellah

hello, First I would like to say I am new to this board, first time posting. My FI (catholic) and myself (not catholic) are getting married Aug. 21 2010 at our church. I have been attending mass regularly with him and my 2 children. I am baptized christian and will be becoming Catholic but not sure if it will happen in time for the wedding. Taking that part slowly, it's supposed to be a journey. As for time gaps, this is first I have heard it being rude to have a gap. I personally prefer the time gap because it allows you time for pictures and some alone time. You just married your best friend and if you don't take the alone time then, then you won't have it until after the reception. I think it's good for the bride and groom to just go for a walk on their own and talk about being husband and wife rather than hurrying off the reception right away. If you give your guests a list of things they can do I'm sure they will figure something out afterall they are adults! From where I am from (Canada) a 2-3 hr gap is VERY common. FI and I are having our ceremony (not sure if it's with or without mass yet) at 1pm ending at 2 pm and receving line at 5 :30 pm.

jobiann

I think it depends where you are having the wedding. In some parts of the county gaps are perfectly acceptable and expected. In my area, they don't happen. We are taking pictures before the ceremony and will kill about 30 minutes between the chuch and the country club to allow for all our guests to arrive at the country club so we can make a big entrance. During that time, guests can snack on appetizers and have a few drinks. If we showed any more then 1 hour after the guests, I think people would leave. Great idea from PP to provide them with a list of optional things to do and see rather then just say leave and meet us at our reception site in 3 hours.