Catholic Weddings

First meeting with priest tomorrow-what to expect?

My fiance and I are getting married back in my home town but we have to do all the pre wedding classes here. We are meeting with the local priest here tomorrow for the first time. What should we expect and what will he have us do? I imagine after this we'll have to do the pre-cana stuff. We are both nervous about this meeting, especially my fiance since he isn't Catholic or any religion at all and frankly thinks this whole pre wedding stuff is a bunch of hooey. I'm so afraid he's going to say something to embarrass me or upset the priest.

Re: First meeting with priest tomorrow-what to expect?

  • edited December 2011
    Hey, we were in the same situation! We were married in our hometown, but live 1000 miles away and DH isn't Catholic. Your first meeting with vary depending on your priest. I had already contacted the priest at the church we were getting married at to figure out the requirements. Now, the deacon that was our at home contact kept changing his mind, so I'm not sure about this but he first told us that we had to complete the requirements for the Archdiocese of Denver, but then later he just said that we only had to do the requirements for the Spokane diocese. We just did both to make sure we were all set. Anyways, back to your meeting, for our first meeting we mainly set everything up with the priest and figured out the requirements and when certain classes were being held. He also asked us some questions about why we wanted to get married in the chruch, what that means for me and for DH. The second meeting was when we did the big scantron exam, and the the remaining classes we went over those. Sometimes you will do the scantron for your first visit. The pre-wedding stuff is actually very helpful, especially the engagement encounter we went on. DH and I had already discussed everything that was gone over, but it was suprising how many couples hadn't. What I really took away from that weekend were things that would help in the future such as fair fighting. We also learned about how certain situations could lead to problems and how to recognize those early on and how to discuss them. You would be suprised how many ladies on the nest are unhappy and in a situation that they could have avoided if they had known certain things before hand. It is also scary how our friends do not fight fair. DH even noticed this with his sister and BIL and thinks they could really use a class in this. I'd just tell your FI that this is important to you and although you may loose an hour here or there, it will be beneficial in the long run.
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  • edited December 2011
    I had my first meeting with our deacon (priest is super busy) a few weeks ago with my fiance. We both attend our church every Sunday. The deacon talked about how important and serious marriage is and how we need to understand what we are getting ourselves into. He also gave us a "homework" list of things we need to do, such as collecting together our baptism, first communion, and confirmation paperwork to bring to the church. He also gave us the website where we will sign up for marriage retreat(s). You go to those and they teach you all about marriage such as how to fight fairly, how to share expenses, etc. Its really basic (but extremely useful) stuff. He also gave us a booklet with all the rules for the actual ceremony, such as no flower petals, no pre-recorded music, etc. Hope that helps. =)
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Our priest is from my home parish, and he's good friends with my parents, so it wasn't a huge getting-to-know-you session. He asked a little about how we met and what we each do for a living. He filled out some paperwork about our names and addresses and other contact info and where we made our previous sacraments. We went into separate rooms to take the FOCCUS (scantron) test. He also gave us the parish's personal "Together for Life" booklet with a list of readings and such that we can pick from to make up our ceremony, and said he'd like to meet with us at least three to five more times before our wedding so he can get to know us better and really tailor the ceremony to us as a couple. Before we left, he talked for about 5 minutes about how we live together and how we can do different things to make sure we're not just "playing house" before we're actually married. He was nice about it, though, and said that what we do in our personal lives is ultimately none of his business, and how this would be the only time he'd say his piece about living together before marriage. All in all, a good experience. FI wasn't too keen on it at first (I'm more of a churchgoer than he is), but even he said that it wasn't a bad meeting at all and that a lot of what Father said made sense to him.
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  • edited December 2011
    our priest basically took down all our info, requested our baptismal and confirmation certificates, and gave us a witness affidavit to be signed and returned. The first meeting we pretty much just chatted for an hour and told him how we met and got him to learn more about us so he has info for his homily. Our priest is also a psychologist, so our sessions are more like couple's therapy with a religious twist. It's awesome.
  • tnspighttnspight
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I realize that you've had your meeting; I just wanted to reiterate what some pp mentioned.  My Fi didn't think that we needed any premarriage counseling.  We communicate (or thought we did) about a lot of topics anyway.  Once we decided to get married in the Church - the counseling was required although he still thought it was going to be a waste of time.  Now he is sooo glad that we spent time talking with Fr and going to the classes.  He is Catholic but hadn't practiced in years.  Hope everything went well tonight.
  • edited December 2011
    we did very little the first meeting.  just introduced ourselves, talked about the paperwork, dates, fees, and what to expect from precana requirements, and other meetings.  gave music director information, florist instructions, and scheduled our next meeting.  we filled out part of the paperwork, and made sure all our documents were in order (baptisim certificates).  we didn't have to take that test. why would your FI embarass you or say something weird to the priest?  if he isn't that interested in getting married there, tell him to keep his trap shut and be respectful.  if he is against it, or does say something strange, perhaps reconsider getting married elsewhere.
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