Natural Family Planning

hbrockman01

I am taking NFP which is required by my Diocese in order to be married in the Catholic Church. I was just wondering if anyone else has taken it and whether or not it was a complete waste of time? I had my first class this past Sunday and I left there so angry and irritated I thought I was going to scream. Just looking for others that have taken the class to see what you think/thought of the classes...

chelseamb11

I guess it really depends on what your family planning plans are.  Do you already know you will be using birth control (pills, condoms, iud, etc) and no using NFP?  If so, yeah it's a waste of time.  But my FSIL took it, as that is what they are planning on using, and she said it was VERY worth it.

hbrockman01

I am and have been on BC since I was 19 (currently 28). I have a medical reason other than acne that requires me to take it daily. Long story short at 19 it was BC or hysterectomy naturally I was in no position to make that decision at that time! So I went with the less invasive option. When taking NFP this past class the instructors made me feel like a terrible person b/c I was open and honest about the fact I was on BC. So much so that they offered to refer me to a specialist, as if I haven't seen enough of those in the past 9yrs. The point is having children is going to be difficult for me regardless of BC or NFP. I just wasn't sure if all the NFP classes out there are the up tight or did I just happen to fall into a class of instructors that think the worst of people on BC regardless of the issue. Just frustrated more than anything and looking to vent.

clearheavens

Oh no!  That's sad to hear that NFP classes are going badly.  I love NFP, I hope the teachers' attitudes don't turn you away from NFP.  NFP is a wonderful blessing in a marriage and we plan on using it.

We learned NFP through the Couples To Couples League.  This counted towards our parish's requirement to have an educational component.   Being a Cincinnati bride as well, there are wonderful teachers in the area who are open, kind, and really good.  (I recommend St. Gertrude's or St. Susanna's.)  They would never chastize you for being on BC, they would only lovingly invite you to alternatives, if that is for you.

Maybe you can ask them if you can drop out of your class and attend one through the Couples To Couples League.

http://www.ccli.org/

hbrockman01

That is where we are going through as well. Our is actually in Maderia, which is painful to b/c its 45mins to an hour away. Had to switch b/c the original class we were scheduled with was overbooked and we got bumped. I guess I am just frustrated that a couple of people who don't know me from anyone has the power to tell me what I am doing is wrong. I also feel like filling out the charts and having them looked over is an invasion of privacy but to be told its this or not catholic wedding, I just don't feel comfortable sharing such intimate things with "PERFECT STRANGERS". I don't know maybe I am just not being open minded but its how I feel.

clearheavens

Do you mind if I ask, is your teacher David and Ann?  You can PM me if you want it to stay private.

hbrockman01

clearheavens - just sent PM

agapecarrie

Well, I view it as an extension of medicine. Its observing symptoms and health signs...as I would for anything for a doctor.

There are many many doctors out there who consider bc very dangerous (it is a class I carcinogen). The creighton method is connected to NAPRO technology which gets to the cause of health issues rather than masking the symptoms with pills. They treat the problems. All hormonal birth control has potential to be aboritve as well.

These teachers sound like they are very concerned for your health. The problem is here, if you are on BC, it will be impossible to learn NFP for yourself as the signs won't happen, and ovulation usually doesn't happen either.

hbrockman01

The only issue here is the fact that I am being referred to "their" specialist when in the past 9yrs have seen plenty of my own. Now you tell me what there specialist will do that the others couldn't?! The fact of the matter is it BC or hysterectomy even still. I have travelled all over the state talking to specialist after specialist and yet they all seem to have the same answer.

hbrockman01

I am just frustrated. Its been a bad day and it isn't getting any better!

chelseamb11

I understand the Catholic Church wanting to stick to its rules, but if you have a medical reason to do some sort of birth control, they should stay out of it.  At least it is preventing you from having a hysterectomy which would make you NEVER able to have kids.  At least this option keeps the door open.
I'm sorry for the issues you are having.  I don't like how judgemental they are. 

hbrockman01

Thank you... chelseamb11! I greatly appreciate it. I finally feel someone outside of my immediate family gets what I have been trying to say.

newlyseliski

I'm sorry you felt attacked at your intro session!  From what I've heard, it can be a challenge to transition from BC to NFP.  Several ladies on here have some experience with that.  It is true as agape mentioned above that being on the pill will make charting near impossible since some of the signs that you need to check for fertility/infertility will not be present since BC releases excess hormones that suppresses them.

I used to be on the pill for medical reasons (PCOS) as well back in high school and did not enjoy the side effects of it much at all!  20 extra pounds does wonders for one's self esteem...  I've since switched to metformin which has worked very well to help treat the issue.  For many physicians, BC is the go-to fix-all that in many cases doesn't treat the root of the problem!  My mom and I had to research alternative treatments on our own and find a doctor who was willing to move forward with that.

My fi and I learned the Creighton NFP method that agape mentioned above and have found it to be invaluble.  We opted for it on the recommendation of a few of our married friends, one whom had the same condition as me.  If you find a physician trained in Creighton Method/Napro technology, they might be able to help you discover the best way to treat your condition!  My friend with PCOS had very very severe endometriosis and had been TTC for 5 years... after two surgeries at Pope Paul VI Institute at Creighton in Nebraska, she and her husband were able to conceive and she's due in two weeks  

There are also many physicians familiar with Sympto-thermal and diagnosing medical conditions that way, too.  Check out http://onemoresoul.com/nfpbyst to see if there are any alternatives if you'd prefer to look elsewhere for NFP instruction.

Riss91

hbrockman, sorry to hear that you have such a dire situation. I hope your things improve for you. I'm sure your teachers have likely heard loads of people claiming they need ABC for medical reasons that really aren't valid, so I'm sure that is where they are coming from. Many people are misinformed by their doctors as to what their options are. Many doctors will just prescribe BC because it's the "easiest solution" when in actuality, it just makes things worse.

I am not saying this is the case with you, just trying to help you understand that they may have had experiences that are illiciting that response. I commend you for being honest with them, and I hope you are kind in your interactions with them, regardless of their tone with you. Their purpose is to share knowledge - both scientific and spiritual. There isn't need for hostility or judgment.

Charting will be a complete waste if you cannot or will not come off of the pill. Anything that you need to be observing will not be normal and will yield odd results that cannot be properly analyzed. However, you should also learn alot about your body and about the Church's beliefs on life, sex, etc so I don't think that it would be a complete waste all together. You just need to have an open mind and be willing to take something away with you.

Also - I wouldn't always assume that any specialist or group of specialists know everything and therefore wouldn't warrant additional opinions of other doctors. A majority of the ladies on this board that actively and successfully use NFP have been to doctors that have never even heard of it, or who are so severly misinformed about the practice it's pathetic. NFP is scientific and has loads of medical benefits. Many ladies on here use it to correct, diagnose and improve problems they have (like PCOS) ---where many doctors automatically prescribe BC as the only option to their patients.

As for sharing this info with complete strangers - I actually feel more comfortable with that than having my close friends know my business. It's almost more anonymous to me that way. But, I could see where it would be awkward at first (just like going to a doctor for the first time)

Hopefully I've helped clear things up a bit!

bibliophile2010

I agree with everything that Riss said.

I'm so sorry that your gynocological condition is what it is and is so severe. I know that conditions for which true medical need for BC are rare, and I'm sorry that you're going through it. I know you've seen a million specialists already, but you would be amazed at how little many doctors know about this stuff. Please consider seeing a doctor well-versed in NFP or NaPro, just to be sure that there are no other options for you.

FWIW, I loved my NFP classes and did not consider them a waste of time.

hbrockman01

I just want to let everyone know that I am very open to things, I just think its crazy to impress upon someone who already feels terrible enough about the prospect of no children, to make them feel worse than they already do! I am sure out of my class I wasn't the only one who is on BC but I feel like I was belittled for being honest.

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_natural-family-planning-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:213160f6-d7d1-43f7-a7b7-14c02a83b98dPost:534dbbd3-541c-474c-9a71-7bd9d3d7280e">Re: Natural Family Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]The only issue here is the fact that I am being referred to "their" specialist when in the past 9yrs have seen plenty of my own. Now you tell me what there specialist will do that the others couldn't?! The fact of the matter is it BC or hysterectomy even still. I have travelled all over the state talking to specialist after specialist and yet they all seem to have the same answer.
Posted by hbrockman01[/QUOTE]

Actually, its very likely that I have a list of doctors that can do much more for you than the others couldn't. As has been said, napro doctors take a completely different approach, and want to heal you.  Of course there are no guarantees, but doctors listed on <a href="http://www.omsoul.com" rel='nofollow'>www.omsoul.com</a> will most likely give other options.

Riss91

I'm sorry if you were treated poorly. Like I said, I'm sure these instructors have dealt with "hostile" BC users many a times, so they might have a knee-jerk response that is negative or condescending. That doesn't make it right. They should try to calmly and warmly understand your situation and politely offer possible alternatives. When you expressed to them your situation, were you defensive about it? Maybe they were just matching your tone?

hmholden

OP, I totally understand where you're coming from. I have endometriosis which requires me to either be on BC or be in constant pain. I've tried other options, but honest to goodness the only one that works for me is to be on BC. This also causes infertility, so I know how frustrating it can be to want to start your life/a family with someone, and not know how that's going to turn out. Feel free to PM me anytime!

I think, like other people here have said, some people automatically assume that when you say you "need" BC, that they're dealing with someone that doesn't want to go off of it because of getting acne or something. It is very rare that people actually "need" it, but as I well know, there are people that do! Try to think of it this way if you indeed do have to go see one of there specialists - it can't hurt! You can always decline treatment, so there's no harm in getting another opinion. And, perhaps, it will be someone who would be able to help.

COSmitty

<hugs> As someone who has a chronic condition that is medical and gets LOTS of stupid advice by people who think they know better than me... deep breath and then tune them out. They do not know your condition, you, the hours/days/thousands of dollars you have invested, or even have an ounce of compassion if they are doing this in a group setting. Yes, there is magic out there and maybe the unicorn horn will help you too.

It is perfectly acceptable to for you to healthwise take care of yourself as best as you can under your doctor's advice. It is also perfectly okay to go through the NFP class to learn more about what the Catholic party line is so that you can have a Catholic marriage. When you want kids it may help you to better understand your body if you go off BC. Knowledge never hurts- and maybe you can see if there is another class you can take with different teachers? 

hbrockman01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_natural-family-planning-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:213160f6-d7d1-43f7-a7b7-14c02a83b98dPost:74d920e6-62f8-4266-897f-11d754d13a8d">Re: Natural Family Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]<hugs /> As someone who has a chronic condition that is medical and gets LOTS of stupid advice by people who think they know better than me... deep breath and then tune them out. They do not know your condition, you, the hours/days/thousands of dollars you have invested, or even have an ounce of compassion if they are doing this in a group setting. Yes, there is magic out there and maybe the unicorn horn will help you too. It is perfectly acceptable to for you to healthwise take care of yourself as best as you can under your doctor's advice. It is also perfectly okay to go through the NFP class to learn more about what the Catholic party line is so that you can have a Catholic marriage. When you want kids it may help you to better understand your body if you go off BC. Knowledge never hurts- <strong>and maybe you can see if there is another class you can take with different teachers? 
</strong>Posted by COSmitty[/QUOTE]

That would be a nice thought if this wasn't the 2nd class we were put in. I would consider it however this is the last set of classes that finish prior to my Oct. 1st wedding! Thanks for the advice...

battlescarred

Your NFP teachers were probably doing what almost all NFP teachers do with regard to oral contraceptives.  That is, they probably feel obliged to tell their students that a woman who takes the Pill suffers a 40% increased risk of developing breast cancer compared with women who do not take OCs.  If a woman takes OCs for four years or more, she suffers a 72% increased risk of breast cancer.  That's simply what research has found and that researcher Dr. Chris Kahlenborn has reported.  You can ask your teachers about this, and they can put you in touch with the Kahlenborn works.  Also, they are probably sharing with you that in women who are sexually active, hormonal birth control has the potential to act as an early abortion agent by causing the lining to uterus to be too thin to accept the newly conceived human baby. 

Don't be too sure that anyone is looking down on you.  You might be surprised to know how many NFP teachers around the country are former users of all different kinds of birth control.  Some are even former atheists or agnostics but were searching for the truth. 

Your teachers are probably volunteers who are teaching their NFP course only because they want to share some very precious information.  To love someone is to want to help them on the road to heaven, and in that sense those teachers truly do love you.  They very probably hope that some day you will realize the value of what they are teaching and will walk the narrow way with Jesus.

As far as alternatives to hormonal birth control for whatever your problem is, I have heard knowledgeable doctors say there is no good medical reason for oral contraceptives with the possible exception of an emergency use to stop otherwise uncontrolled bleeding.  As some respondents have pointed out, some NFP teachers are doctors or nurses who have had special training in evaluating  female reproductive problems, and they can be very helpful.  On the other hand, some of these same physicians and nurses do not know as much about the value of the temperature sign as you will learn in your symtpo-thermal instruction.

Peace,
Battle-scarred