Catholic Weddings

living together before...

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Re: living together before...

  • edited December 2011
    I think it was said here that there is a higher divorce rate in couples that live together?
    Well apparently that data is 25 years old.
    Feel free to check out this article.
    One interesting point I found in it is: • The odds of divorce among women who married their only cohabiting partner were 28% lower than among women who never cohabited before marriage, according to sociologist Daniel Lichter of Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y.

    http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:981fadfa-16f0-463f-82ec-3ec5afeb69ce">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: living together before... : Unless you or your FI are infertile there is no way to guarantee that you will not get pregnant if you were to get pregnant and are a Catholic abortion is not an option. Actually we can't hear text, so it would be our eyes that would need covered... duh!
    Posted by dwest2201[/QUOTE]

    First off, how do you know there isn't a reason that we CAN'T get pregnant? You don't.

    Secondly, you brought up abortion.. so I guess we're going there.
    I am a Catholic and I am not 100% against abortion. *Gasp!* I will tell you why - in hopes you might understand - not to justify it because I could care less what you think.

    If I was sleeping around with a bunch of different guys, and accidentally got pregnant (or knowingly wasn't using birth control with those guys).. then I do NOT think abortion is the answer for me. I would take responsibility for my actions and have the baby. If I was dating one guy (or married) and got pregnant unexpectedly, I would have the baby. Again, taking responsibility.

    If, for example a drug addict (or someone with AIDS), gets pregnant, and has the baby, it could be born a drug addict or may have Aids or HIV. How is that benefiting anyone? All that does is bring another life into this world who is going to suffer and be sick for the rest of it's life (if it even survives).
    You might say that we don't have the right to end that baby's life - that is innocent, etc.. but how do you justify giving birth to a baby that you KNOW is going to have AIDS, for example? That is pretty much the same as purposely hurting someone, is it not?

    Worse off.. how about someone is raped and gets pregnant? why would they EVER want to have that baby? The baby that was fathered by a rapist - who raped THEM!. How could they possibly carry that baby inside them knowing where it came from? If I was ever in that situation, I wouldn't be able to even bear the thought of that baby inside me.  I'm sure most of you would say that you would have the baby anyway, put it up for adoption, but I'm SO curious to see what would REALLY happen if you were in that situation.

    Since I have never been in a situation like that, i cannot say 100% that I would NEVER have an abortion, just because my religion says I shouldn't. (and it is not about bending the rules or making any excuses).

    I know people will say that is selfish.. or I would be killing an innocent soul (let's not even get into when it is considered a baby.. at conception? a fetus? that's a whole other topic)...so I guess these people also don't kill spiders? Those are living things too right?

    Unfortunately, a law cannot be set for specific situations, and it is either Pro-Choice or Pro-Life...so there will be people who take advantage of Abortion and use it as a way out when they live irresponsibly. But, to me, that is the better option, rather than forcing people to a baby that they will never love, won't be able to take care of, or will be sick for the rest of its life.

    I do not intend to disrespect anyone's beliefs or the religion in any way.. this is just how I (and many others) feel, and it doesn't make us any less Catholic than the rest of you who believe otherwise.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:928ab8aa-66ba-40cf-9e7e-1a14fac3d0cd">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE] I do not intend to disrespect anyone's beliefs or the religion in any way.. this is just how I (and many others) feel, and it doesn't make us any less Catholic than the rest of you who believe otherwise.
    Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]

    Having read through your posts both here and on the Etiquette board, I can only use the word "disrespectful" when describing your attitude towards Catholicism and the people who have been trying to give you helpful advice.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:981fadfa-16f0-463f-82ec-3ec5afeb69ce">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: living together before... : <strong>Unless you or your FI are infertile </strong>there is no way to guarantee that you will not get pregnant if you were to get pregnant and are a Catholic abortion is not an option.
    Posted by dwest2201[/QUOTE]

    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: living together before... : First off, how do you know there isn't a reason that we CAN'T get pregnant? You don't.  <strong>I never said I did, actually I said that you or your FI might be infertile which would mean that you infact couldn't.  I did say that if you did end up pregnant and are Catholic though that abortion is not an option.</strong>

    Secondly, you brought up abortion.. so I guess we're going there. I am a Catholic and I am not 100% against abortion. <strong>
    Isn't that an Oxymoron?</strong> <strong> Let me just say that I was not raised Catholic and am just going through the RCIA process to become a member of the Catholic church now, but I have been researching and discussing it for some time now (my Father is Catholic but my Mother was not so we were raised non-denominational). </strong> <strong>I honestly used to feel the way that you do about some of the scenarios that you listed... such as a rape victim, however after growing up and actually knowing people who have adopted children and been the adopted child and how amazingly awesome it can be for non-blood families to come together.  FI's bro in law is adopted and is extremely close to his family, his other sister and her husband adopted a newborn through Catholic family services actually (from a local teen who unexpectedly got pregnant).  Having seen first hand how great adoption is for both the parents who want children and can't get pregnant and those women who are not ready to be a mother. 

    Even in such cases as rape and drug use I believe that the child being born is a better option for all.   For instance the rape victim is going to be upset and emotionally scarred from the attack as is, why add the question of guilt to the equation by aborting a child? 

    As for drug use, I can not see how terminating a pregnancy due to the POSSIBILITY of complications the child may or may not be born with because of it is a better option than allowing the baby to be born and dealing with any complications that actually come to pass as they arise.
    </strong>Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]
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  • edited December 2011
    I am not being direspectful just because I am stating my opinions and beliefs. Just like everyone else is stating their beliefs, I am telling you mine. That is not disrepectful.

    I find it funny that not one has anybody in this thread said something like "I accept that is your belief and you are entitled to your beliefs". Just goes to show how close minded the religion is, the biggest reason why I don't agree with a lot of it. Because I am a very open minded person and I've learned over the last 32 years that you need to be very close minded if you want to closely follow and practice the Catholic religion. Again, not disrespectful, just a fact.
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  • edited December 2011
    Dwest - you said this: Even in such cases as rape and drug use I believe that the child being born is a better option for all.   For instance the rape victim is going to be upset and emotionally scarred from the attack as is, why add the question of guilt to the equation by aborting a child? 

    As for drug use, I can not see how terminating a pregnancy due to the POSSIBILITY of complications the child may or may not be born with because of it is a better option than allowing the baby to be born and dealing with any complications that actually come to pass as they arise.

    my comments - If someone is raped, don't they have enough to deal with, aside from carrying a pregnancy for 9 months with a baby that is the result of them being raped?? If I were in that situation, I wouldn't be able to stand one second of that baby inside me.

    As for the drug use - what about if while you are pregnant the baby is tested and they tell you it is going to be a crack addict? Or it is going to have AIDS? Is it still a better option to allow that baby to be born?
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think the swearing and name-calling (close minded, "virgin ears") is disrespectful.  The things you wrote on the Etiquette board regarding the mentoring/counseling program offered by the church were disrespectful.    The fact that you are being so maliciously provocative is disrespectful.

    Before you call practioners of Catholicism "close minded," I would encourage you to read up on what modern-day Catholics do in the world.  We know that as human beings, we are all sinners, and we know not to judge individuals, even if we do recommend against specific actions.  I cannot imagine an organization in all of history that has been more charitable and forgiving as the Catholic church.

    Everyone has the right to his/her opinions, but on a Catholic board, you should expect that the advice would follow the guidelines of the church.  If your opinion differs from the church, fine, but you shouldn't offer that up as "Catholic advice."  Find another board where you can defend sending out ceremony-only invitations to your marriage counselors. 
  • edited December 2011
    As far as I know there is no test that will show without a doubt that a child will be a "crack baby".  Even if the child is a "crack baby" as you call it... my aunt who does foster care has taken care of multiple children whose mother was on drugs... some of them have straigtened their lives out and got their child back.  One little boys mom was a lost cause and my aunt has since adopted him... so he is my cousin (he lives about thousand miles away so I've only met him once but I hear he is doing great and has only very mild delays. 

    Also, even when a mother is HIV positive her child does not always contract the disease... actually the stats are pretty low (lower than I thought they might be).  Look it up.
    http://www.avert.org/pregnancy.htm

    I believe that adoption is a better option than abortion, yes and the only option in the eyes of the Catholic church.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:dfb9c32f-7f53-41de-b598-3f6b6beafb2c">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: living together before... : A) We are getting married in a Catholic church, because we are Catholic. Period. B) We are not having children, so it doesn't matter. And again, you say "Please don't enter a sacrament with a lie". (see B above).. who are you to tell me or anybody what to do? Are you God? I didn't think so.
    Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]


    A)  Can I ask a serious question?  I don't mean it to be snarky, so please don't take it this way (sometimes tone of voice doesn't come out right on the Internet).  But why are you a member of a Church that you have such disdain for, as evidenced by your posts here, and a Church you don't want to raise any children in?  I'm just curious, because you seem to be very angry at the Church and its teachings and have been pretty disrespectful in your posts here.  This is a Catholic board, and you should expect that a lot of the advice here will be in line with Catholic teachings.  No one can force you to agree with Catholic teachings, but don't be surprised when people here post from a Catholic perspective.

    B)  Unless you know now that you are infertile, it's impossible to guarantee that you won't have children.  And one of the preconditions to being married in the Church is that you welcome children as sent by God.  There are three questions that the priest asks during the ceremony to establish your consent:  1)  Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?  2)  Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of your lives?  3)  <em>Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?</em>


    I'm not going to get far into the abortion debate, because that is not part of this thread and is likely to start another firestorm.  I will only say that plenty of people who are pro-life, myself included, work with children to better the situations they live in.  So if your concern is the conditions a child will live in, know that there are plenty of us out there working on behalf of children's welfare precisely because we deserve that all children have a right to life, and we care about what happens to them after they are born.  (FWIW, babies born to HIV-positive mothers are rarely HIV-positive themselves if some basic preventive drugs are provided, and recent studies have shown that the majority of "crack babies" rapidly catch up to their peers in development.)  Anyway, that's really another thread, so if you want to discuss abortion, we should probably take it elsewhere.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    after going over to E to check out the thread mica references, it is very disrespectful.  to a point where even Non-Catholics are defending the catholic church and asking her why she's getting married in the church.  and that board is often a place with some anti-catholic sentiments.

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My birth mother was raped....and I was conceived.  But I guess my rights don't count.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    i would absolutely have the baby if i was raped.  i most likely would not keep teh child, but rather give it up for adoption.  who knows, that child may grow up to find the cure for cancer.  what a waste that would be, if that child were never born.

    i would also give my child life even if it meant losing my own life.  ive had my chance to live, confess my sins and prepare myself for heaven (or purgatory, hell).  an unborn child has not had that right.  as we all know from catechism 101, all babies are born with original sin, which is removed with baptism.  an aborted  baby does not get the opportunity to be baptised.

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:07a60e23-2685-4863-9c74-55d4261f78de">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the swearing and name-calling (close minded, "virgin ears") is disrespectful.  The things you wrote on the Etiquette board regarding the mentoring/counseling program offered by the church were disrespectful.    The fact that you are being so maliciously provocative is disrespectful. Before you call practioners of Catholicism "close minded," I would encourage you to read up on what modern-day Catholics do in the world.  We know that as human beings, we are all sinners, and we know not to judge individuals, even if we do recommend against specific actions.  I cannot imagine an organization in all of history that has been more charitable and forgiving as the Catholic church. Everyone has the right to his/her opinions, but on a Catholic board, you should expect that the advice would follow the guidelines of the church.  If your opinion differs from the church, fine, but you shouldn't offer that up as "Catholic advice."  Find another board where you can defend sending out ceremony-only invitations to your marriage counselors. 
    Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
    I am not looking for advice on how to be a good Catholic. I had an ETIQUETTE question that was related to inviting my mentor couple - which is a Catholic thing. That is the ONLY reason I posted on the Catholic boards. I have no desire to get advice from anyone about anything religious. Which is my exact point. Everyone tries "teaching" others what is right for Catholics, what is a good Catholic, what is moral, why not just shut up about all of the religion stuff and focus on the real questions?
    Seriously, some people on these boards need to get a life, grow up, lighten up and get over themselves.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:b8943c46-f5b5-4929-bcc6-002b1d2fbbf3">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: living together before... : I am not looking for advice on how to be a good Catholic. I had an ETIQUETTE question that was related to inviting my mentor couple - which is a Catholic thing. That is the ONLY reason I posted on the Catholic boards. I have no desire to get advice from anyone about anything religious. Which is my exact point. Everyone tries "teaching" others what is right for Catholics, what is a good Catholic, what is moral, why not just shut up about all of the religion stuff and focus on the real questions? Seriously, some people on these boards need to get a life, grow up, lighten up and get over themselves.
    Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]

    Wait, I'm confused.  Your etiquette question is in another thread.  I don't believe anyone forced you to participate in this thread (which is now hijacked -- poor OP) or ignite this firestorm.  You were the one who first posted with lots of exclamation points and yelling, you were the one who swore, and you are the one who is getting offended by posters who are simply reiterating Church teachings. 

    I read your posts on the Etiquette board, and I agree with Mica that your posts there sounded fairly disrespectful.  Even plenty of posters who aren't Catholic asked you why you were getting married in the Church if you resented it that much.  So don't be surprised when you come over here that Catholic posters would ask you the same question.

    ETA:  Also, not to get all philosophy-major on you, but religious and moral questions are indeed the "real questions."  Ethics and metaphysics are crucial questions in life.  Answer them how you will, but the questions and answers are important in life.
  • edited December 2011
    I have a question...

    Abortion is not an option in the Catholic Church.

    However, my good friend got pregnant while in higschool with her boyfriend and she had the baby. They were never married. When she wanted to have the baby baptized, there were a couple Priests who refused to baptize the baby because it was born out of wedlock. She found a priest that had no problem with it, and batpized the baby.

    Yet, Abortion is not an option. So the Catholic Church wants us to have a baby, no matter what, but then some Priest refuse to baptize the baby because you were not married. How is that not contradictory?
    It's like, ok, have the baby, but you are screwed after that because we are not baptizing it.
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  • edited December 2011
    Do you want a serious discussion, or do you just want to rant about how awful you think the Church is?  (That's a serious question, not meant to be sarcastic or snarky.)
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    are you sure you are 32 or really 22, as your SN alludes to?  that might explain some of your immature responses.

    So the Catholic Church wants us to have a baby, no matter what, but then some Priest refuse to baptize the baby because you were not married. How is that not contradictory?
    It's like, ok, have the baby, but you are screwed after that because we are not baptizing it.

    a priest may hesitate to baptize a child catholic if he has doubts that the child will be raised catholic.  similar to why a priest may choose not to marry a couple that he doubts will live their life in the faith.  both are judgement calls that he has teh right to make.  you can agree or disagree. 

    i would honestly counsel any young, unmarried person to consider adoption.  there are so many couples out there who are willing to give a home to a child.  im not sure why any teen would want to keep their baby, but that is a purely personal opinion, no related in anyway to catholicism.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Because I am a very open minded person and I've learned over the last 32 years that you need to be very close minded if you want to closely follow and practice the Catholic religion. Again, not disrespectful, just a fact.

    and how is this a fact????  whether someone is open or closed minded is pure opinion, not fact.
  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, Calypso, I'm not sure if we should keep on feeding the drama queen.  Maybe if we stop responding to her rude comments, she'll go away.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:8f30e323-6979-4795-bdec-a4fec709db2f">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, Calypso, I'm not sure if we should keep on feeding the drama queen.  Maybe if we stop responding to her rude comments, she'll go away.
    Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

    I agree, worth a shot at least.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:5c89bce9-a033-47ab-83c3-cd4f840db55f">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]are you sure you are 32 or really 22, as your SN alludes to?  that might explain some of your immature responses. So the Catholic Church wants us to have a baby, no matter what, but then some Priest refuse to baptize the baby because you were not married. How is that not contradictory? It's like, ok, have the baby, but you are screwed after that because we are not baptizing it. <strong>a priest may hesitate to baptize a child catholic if he has doubts that the child will be raised catholic. </strong> similar to why a priest may choose not to marry a couple that he doubts will live their life in the faith.  both are judgement calls that he has teh right to make.  you can agree or disagree.  i would honestly counsel any young, unmarried person to consider adoption.  there are so many couples out there who are willing to give a home to a child.  im not sure why any teen would want to keep their baby, but that is a purely personal opinion, no related in anyway to catholicism.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
    Well guess what, the Priest told my friend that he would not Baptize the child because she was not married. So unless the Priest was lying, then that was his reason. And if that was his reason, then that is hypocritcal. And it was not just 1 Priest that told her that, so it wasn't a "bad Priest" (because I know that will be your next excuse".
    So now you are saying that the Catholic church does not allow abortion, but once the baby is born, it is at the Priest's discretion whether or not he wants to baptize it Catholic. So if that is the case, then why insist that abortion is not allowed?! So the church wants people to have the baby no matter what, but if the Church doesn't think that baby should be baptized Catholic, then they should put their child up for adoption?? What if they don't want to do that?? HOW IS THAT FAIR OR RIGHT?
    Seriously.. I am done trying to get my point across here. Most of you are obviously brainwashed by the religion and you will NEVER in a million years see the reality of what is going on. Have a good night.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:8f30e323-6979-4795-bdec-a4fec709db2f">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, Calypso, I'm not sure if we should keep on feeding the drama queen.  Maybe if we stop responding to her rude comments, she'll go away.
    Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

    I agree, mica.  At this point, we should stop feeding the troll.  Cindy91788 obviously hates the Church, and doesn't want to have an actual conversation but rather to yell at us.  (P.S.  Cindy, if you're still reading this despite your insistence that you're leaving, I do think you need to give some serious thought to the question I asked above -- why are you Catholic if you hate the Church this much?  Don't reply to that question here.  Just think about it on your own and pray about it.)

    I'm done replying to any of her rude comments, and I hope everyone else is too.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    yes, i give up too i suppose.  she just doesnt get it, and sadly, doesnt want to get it.  god will know the state of her conscience and heart when she approaches the altar on her wedding day.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:9ab8e445-9c7c-4724-bbee-867bb7b23342">living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I live together.  We are having our first meeting with the priest this Sat. and we were warned by someone that we cannot live together before marriage.  I am aware that traditionally you are not supposed to live together but in these financial times it was the best decision for us.  Is this going to be a problem when talking to the priest?
    Posted by ludachris315[/QUOTE]

    This is getting to be quite a long thread, isn't it?

    You have to give the priest basic information when you first meet, like your address and telephone number...so, it might come up that way that you have the same address.  I agree with a PP that it probably depends upon the priest, in terms of what he might say...BUT, what I think is important is to be at peace with your living situation and how it affects your relationship with God and your FI...Whether you change/modify your living situation or confess or what have you.  You are not going to spontaneously combust just because you're living with your FI.  That is all.  Good luck!
  • starlite21lstarlite21l member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:1f8de971-e99e-43ac-b283-b204bc6d38f2">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are not going to spontaneously combust just because you're living with your FI.  That is all.  Good luck!
    Posted by greengirl09[/QUOTE]

    lol tooo funny!  Thank you all!
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  • edited December 2011
    I have been reading, but not posting, but I do find it funny that when I ask a question that you don't have an explanation that makes sense (and is not contradictory), you avoid my question, and say everyone should ignore me.

    So here is my question, which I'm still waiting on an answer for:

    The Priest told my friend that he would not Baptize the child because she was not married. (not because he had doubts whether it would be raised Catholic. And I would assume if that was the real reason, he would've been honest with her aobut that). So unless the Priest was lying, then that was his reason. And if that was his reason, then that is hypocritcal. And it was not just 1 Priest that told her this, multiple Priests told her the same thing.

    So now you are saying that the Catholic church does not allow abortion, but once the baby is born, it is at the Priest's discretion whether or not he wants to baptize it Catholic. So if that is the case, then why insist that abortion is not allowed? The church wants people to have the baby no matter what, but if the Church doesn't think that baby should be baptized Catholic, then they should put their child up for adoption?? What if they don't want to do that?? What if they want to keep their baby?
    Should they be forced to marry someone they don't wish to marry, in order to have their child baptized Catholic? Should they be forced to put their child up for adoption, just because they weren't married? I just don't see how this is fair, or right in any way, based on the teachings of the Catholic church.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Cindy,

    We are not answering because the situation is outrageous. It simply would not happen. You are repeating a story you heard from someone who heard it from the priest. It most likely was a highly emotiona situation in which the person who heard it did not hear correctly and interjected their own stuff into it too.  If a priest said it, the priest was wrong, that is not what the church teaches, so there is really no question to answer.

    The church says that the baby has a right to the baptism, if there is sufficient hope they will be raised Catholic. Period. If a priest won't do it, take it to the bishop.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_living-together-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:266ae0f6-48e1-4c42-98ee-0e85190d181dPost:1f554f77-409c-4354-a4de-c535194f9ad4">Re: living together before...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cindy, We are not answering because the situation is outrageous. It simply would not happen. You are repeating a story you heard from someone who heard it from the priest. It most likely was a highly emotiona situation in which the person who heard it did not hear correctly and interjected their own stuff into it too.  If a priest said it, the priest was wrong, that is not what the church teaches, so there is really no question to answer. The church says that the baby has a right to the baptism, if there is sufficient hope they will be raised Catholic. Period. If a priest won't do it, take it to the bishop.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]
    What in the world are you talking about?? The situation is not outrageous, it is what happened to one of my VERY GOOD FRIENDS. She got pregnant when she was 17, and her boyfriend dumped her. After she had the baby, she had a very hard time finding a Catholic priest that would baptize her baby! I am not just "repeating a story I heard from someone". And my friend did not "mishear or misunderstand" what the Priests told her. So again, stop trying to make up explanations to justify what happened to her. This is a 100% legitimate example of how the Catholic church is hypocritcal in it's teachings, and your blowing it off as a misunderstanding is ridiculous.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This isn't the church being hyptocritical. This is a priest not behaving properly.

    And you call yourself Catholic, but don't believe and practice. How is that not hypocritical?
  • edited December 2011

    Interesting..so it just so happened that 3 or 4 Priests that she contacted were "not behaving properly" and had nothing to do with the Church. 

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