Incorporating Traditional (Latin) Details into a Mixed Wedding?

HelloKaty37

  I haven't yet met with my priest to discuss the wedding, but so that I don't show up with several hundred questions, I thought I would pick the brains of you ladies first. 

  I'm a graduate student studying the European Middle Ages and have developed an interest in the liturgical and doctrinal history of the Church.  Because of that, I have gained a great appreciation for the Latin Mass.  I alternate between attending Tridentine Mass and the English Mass regularly held at my parish, but even the English Mass incorporates Latin hymns and is very traditional compared to other parishes I have been a part of.  Ideally, I would have a traditional Tridentine Nuptial Mass, but my situation isn't exactly conducive to that option.

   My fiancè and I are both trained in Latin, so I have no doubt that he would be able to follow the Latin Mass  (not really sure what to call a Tridentine Nuptial Mass that is technically outside of Mass), though I would of course explain the significance of each part to him, since he is not Catholic.  His family and mine, however, are mostly Protestant or aetheist and therefore would probably not experience the Latin Mass as it is supposed to be (as a deeply religious event) but rather as something ancient, outdated, and possibly just for show.

   I would love to find a way to have my wedding in a way that incorporates my love of traditional Catholicism while also making both families comfortable, so I'm leaning towards having a English ceremony (outside of Mass) with Latin elements.  Does anyone have any ideas of how to do this or recommendations for other solutions?

lalaith50

wow, I actually LOVE this question! I won't be at a computer much until like Tuesday, but hopefully I will be able to respond with some more thoughts around then!

privateyogi

I would definitely talk to the priest.  I took a look at the Rite of Marriage outside of Mass, and to non-Catholics, it is just a "Mass without communion".  If it is acceptable in your diocese, perhaps you could have an Ordinary Form Mass (English) wedding, with the Kyrie in Greek, and the Pater Noster, Gloria, and Angus Dei in Latin.  That is what my fiance and I are doing.  I go to the EF, he to the OF, so it is a trade-off.  Regardless, use some lovely Latin hymns in either gregorian chant or sacred polyphony, and you will have a lovely sacrament.  Well, maybe throw in a big puppet and some liturgical dancing to keep things interesting (just kidding).

Pax et Bonum!

Calypso1977

well, considering i had a latin mass for my wedding, im kind of biased and i say you shoudl go for it if you and your FI want it.

we had probably 80% catholics in attendance at ours.  i heard positive response from everyone, including the non-catholics.  our older catholic guests loved seeing the latin - as they grew up with it.  the younger catholics thought it was cool to see - some had heard about the mass being in latin at one point, but never witnessed a latin mass.  others had heard of latin masses, but didnt realize they still took place.  the non catholics were all very observant and respectful, and many tried to follow along in the english/latin missals. 

our priest was fabulous and explained everything at the start.  of course, teh first part was our vows, so we walked in, got married, and then he explained how the mass would work.

BUT, if you really dont want to go the route of the latin mass, you can incorporate the more traditional hymns, etc.  also, ive seen priests read parts of the English mass facing the altar rather than the people.  im sure he will work with you to come up wtih a nice hybrid.

Hope61

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_incorporating-traditional-latin-details-mixed-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3bbb7e18-de16-4d88-86d5-45db63c8191ePost:2c3d6439-17cc-4266-8f91-66d22447b1bf">Re: Incorporating Traditional (Latin) Details into a Mixed Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE] perhaps you could have an Ordinary Form Mass (English) wedding, with the Kyrie in Greek, and the Pater Noster, Gloria, and Angus Dei in Latin. 
Posted by privateyogi[/QUOTE]
This. And definitely some Latin hymns. Also, as Calypso mentioned, you could have some of the prayers ad orientem (facing the altar)--if you think guests will be thrown off by it, just add a brief explanation of things in the program.

I'll throw in another vote too for having a Mass. If its what you and your FI want, you should have the Eucharist at your wedding. Some friends of mine are both converts, and they had a wedding Mass. Their entire families couldn't go up for communion--only their friends--but it wasn't too awkward or anything, in my opinion.

Riss91

We did the Latin mass as well. Other than some of our older relatives that recalled the mass from their youth, none of our guests were familiar with it. We felt that it was very important to us that the ceremony reflect our beliefs and wishes. We solved the issue of our guests not being familiar by providing programs with translations.

We still have people telling us how amazing our ceremony was. Most of them were non-Catholics or had never attended a Latin mass. I would do the mass the way you want to. Your guests will be absolutely fine - they're going to be so excited for you that I doubt they'll have time to feel uncomfortable.

caitriona87

We had kind of a "hybrid" Mass for our wedding--it was OF, but the music was all chant or polyphany (we used Hassler's Mass for 8 Voices, Palestrina's Sicut Cervus, etc.)  and it was ad orientem (priest facing east/the altar.) If we were getting married today we would probably just go ahead and have a Tridentine Mass but three-ish years ago when we started planning I was not as comfortable with it.

I was extremely worried about how people would perceive these unfamiliar things, but we ended up with nothing but positive comments, including from non-Catholics and even though we ended up having a two-hour ceremony. My then-8-year-old niece told me "It only felt like 30 minutes." So that was all the confirmation I needed, lol. Everyone loved it. I think the fact that it was different was seen as a good thing, not a bother. So I wouldn't worry so much about what people will think of it.

My husband also made a pretty detailed program explaining some of the things that were out of the norm, which helped.

lalaith50

Talk to your priest. the priest who is doing your wedding may not even be able (or want to) do much latin. Also, a lot depends on what your musicians are capable of doing (how much are you willing to spend on a good 8-voice choir, if you want true sacred polyphony? Or, do you have musicians who are even capable of chanting the propers?)

Decide how much you want the priest to say/sing in latin, the people to say/sing in Latin (I have found that people don't mind what is going on around them, as much as many people HATE speaking in latin themselves,) or what you just want sung by a choir in latin. That will make a big difference.