Catholic - Methodist wedding

random4180

Okay, so I had a question regarding being Catholic and my fiance being Methodist. There is a Catholic church located across the street from our reception site and it would be a perfect and logical place to have our ceremony but he does have hesitations about having a Catholic ceremony. I know he wouldn't need to convert and there would be no Eucharist during the ceremony but I would like to be able to tell him what it does involve. This parish is not my home church so I'm not familiar with the priest (did meet him briefly with my mother while visiting the venue across the street and he seemed nice enough!) The only weddings I've been to have been held in non-denominational sites, no Catholic churches, so I'm not sure what (I'm assuming there are some) differences there might be.

agapecarrie

It's like the first half of the mass--- the Liturgy of the Word. Then the marriage vows and rings, then prayers of the faithful, our father, and nuptial blessing. That's it. 

You should set the date with church before doing anything else. And before setting a date, there is a pre-marital investigation. Please do not hesitate speaking with the priest soon. 

tropicalpalmleaf

I would think there would be differences in prayers and the vows. Also, the Catholic ceremony has a homily, while Methodist does not. (I believe...)

But like the poster above said, you will have to talk to the priest ASAP to have your date settled and have all your marriage prep completed.

agapecarrie

There are no differences in the vows.A marriage is a marriage...they promise the same thing. There is a homily as well...as I said, it is done in the liturgy of the word.

Calypso1977

i would also have a long talk with him about why he has heistations.  is he hesitant about the catholic faith in general?  how will he feel about you and your children living and practicing the catholic faith?  this is a very important discussion that needs to take place NOW, before you plan a wedding and get married.

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_catholic-methodist-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:41be0a28-0514-4a1c-a9cf-9341589520dfPost:83d5af24-24eb-4413-bb16-42d775f2601c">Re: Catholic - Methodist wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]i would also have a long talk with him about why he has heistations.  is he hesitant about the catholic faith in general?  how will he feel about you and your children living and practicing the catholic faith?  this is a very important discussion that needs to take place NOW, before you plan a wedding and get married.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

This.

Then, if his only hesitation is being unsure what the ceremony will look like, you can explain that it is just like the first part of mass. If he's not familiar with that, you should encourage him to come to mass with you sometime. Being familiar with the mass will be important, because, by marrying a Catholic, even if he does not practice the faith, he will end up going to Catholic baptisms, funerals, etc.

Regardless, I would get the church squared away before you go any further with planning.

random4180

It's a venue-inspired hesitation kind of thing. Not sure about anyone else, but I've rarely ever seen a small Catholic church (not a side chapel, a main building church.) The Protestant churches I've seen have been significantly smaller, included his home church. Luckily, the place we're looking at (which he's seen) is a smaller, very intimate village church. I think it falls in very well with what he finds aesthetically familiar about his church. We both want a church wedding and I think this may be the solution. I called them today to talk about what we'd need to do and our date was free! They needed to check  priest availability (summer vacations and all) but I should hear back tomorrow! Thank you for the info, ladies

Riss91

Small Catholic Churches do exist! We were married in one and there are at least 3 within driving distance of my house. Though I don't think I'd be too concerned about the size.

random4180

Yeah, it probably has more to do with being from NYC- we live around the corner from a large Catholic church. It's beautiful architecturally and I have no problem with it (my home church is also a 200+ seater) but I think he prefers something...simpler. He's also a quiet person and I think the idea of speaking in a giant, cavernous space is intimidating and on that point, I do agree. I HATE public speaking and the idea of having to speak up in front all these people- and then worry about whether the people in the back can hear you... There's no getting around the being the center of attention (it is our wedding, after all) but we can attempt to make the speaking a bit more comfortable. 

Kate61487

I would think the bigger difference would be in the preparation, rather than the ceremony itself. You'll have to do the FOCCUS test and precana classes, and make sure you both understand that by getting married in the Catholic Church you're agreeing to raise your children Catholic. You'll both have to attest to that to get the bishop's blessing to get married in the church. I actually found catholicweddinghelp.com to be very helpful during my planning - just as a quick resource for the order of the ceremony and stuff, they have a lot of good info though.

ElisabethJoanne

Ah, size-of-church issues. I really don't like going to weddings that seem lonely 'cause the building is much bigger than the guest list, but you shouldn't let a "too-big" church determine where you have your wedding. You should let religious convictions make that decision.

If a church is much larger than the guest list, block off the back pews with ribbons. If necessary, block off the sides of some pews, too.

bibliophile2010

While I understand where you're coming from,

We were lucky, because the chapel where we were married only holds 180 (according to fire code at least; I've seen way more at other times), and we had about 150 guests in total. That said, if we were members of a larger church, I would have not blinked at the size. Getting married at a place and in a way that reflects your (plural -- you as a couple, based on conversation and mutual understanding) religious values should be your #1 focus.

As PP suggested, blocking off pews or having ushers to direct guests to the front would keep it intimate even in a large space.