NWR A reflection... my new ministry

ring_pop

This is kind of long and I apologize if it's a little irrelevant... but I felt the need to share, and I don't have a lot of people IRL to share this with.

Have you ever had a moment of clarity as to your ministry in the church? This past Sunday's mass led me to one such moment.

I've been involved in music ministry since I was 13 years old - 17 years. I loved it. It was definitely my calling. The choir is also where I met DH.

Whenever the parable of the talents came up, I thought to myself, "I'm good. I'm doing my music thing."

When I had Darian, we stopped. On top of the fact that we live farther away from the church now, it's just too impractical to commit to Thursday night rehearsals which conflict with his bedtime, too hectic to try to get to the church for the hour-long warmup before mass, and too difficult to try to keep him quiet up there in the choir loft.

I've kind of lamented the fact that I'm done with it for now. I keep thinking, "We could join the choir again in a couple of months..."

This past Sunday, sitting in the congregation, I realized that I've spent all those years behind the piano losing touch with the liturgy. For me personally, it's become hard to properly reflect on the readings, homily, and sacrament when I'm always on my toes for the next hymn to play. It had become sort of a performance.

Also, DH took Darian to the children's liturgy for the first time on Sunday. Apparently they had a really great time and we're looking forward to continuing that.

All of this is to say, I realized that my 'ministry' now is to raise my child in the church. Among other things that this child has brought me, I feel like God has given me the opportunity to get re-acquainted with the liturgy and my faith, and to start fresh through my baby's eyes.

And I am thankful for that.

Maybe one day when he is much older, we'll re-join the choir, but for now, I've finally made peace with the fact that I've moved on.

Thanks for letting me share.

ring_pop

Errmm... I reposted this in my blog. I realized after posting that it would have been way more appropriate there lol.

[Deleted User]

First of all, I love the pic. He is a cutie pie and getting so big.

It totally makes sense what you wrote and what you have obviously given much thought and consideration. Even though I am not a mother yet, I know that my foremost priority will be my children and husband. I see too many children (being involved in childcare/education) that don't have enough time at home because either their parents work too much and/or have too many other extra committments on the weekends. So the little time they would normally get to spend with their children is spent in the car. It breaks my heart.

And I have often wondered how involved people that are in the choir and devote so many talents and treasures to the church really get to be fully involved and intimate with the mass and teachings.

I applaud you for your decision and it sounds like you don't have any doubts. Way to go Mama!

lmeade62

I'm so glad you shared what you wrote! These are the kinds of things I was hoping we all could share after the weddings were over...and FWIW, I think you are right. I think we all have different ministries and callings at different points in our lives. And to my mind, there is nothing more important or sacred a calling than being a good mother and raising your child to God. 

I can relate, too, to being distracted when you're doing music. I am a cantor at our church, and I love it. Every time someone compliments me on my voice, I know that this gift from God has helped reach them in some way. I don't have a lot of money to give, so the fact that I can give this means a lot to me. But you're right, it's hard to concentrate properly when I'm worried about how I'm going to sound, or whether I messed up a song. I try to pray at the beginning that I sing for the glory of God and not for myself...

At any rate, I understand how wonderfully different it is to go to Church and simply "be" there. Good for you!

Linda

bibliophile2010

1. Adooooooooorable siggy pic.

2. Thank you so, so much for that. It actually helped me reflect on my own, similar thoughts. I'm currently really involved in liturgical ministry, serving as sacristan and Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion several Sundays a month at an evening mass. My H and I have already started transitioning to a morning mass on my Sundays "off" for personal reasons, but when kids come, I already know I want to be at mass with my family, not running around doing stuff -- at least until they are older and I can take on other projects. Your reflections really helped ease my mind of some of the turmoil I've felt at the prospect of leaving my ministries, especially since I know that I'm good at it, and knowing that people depend on me. (Side note: obviously, I won't stop serving without notice. It's more that it is hard to get good people to fill the roles and it will be one more slot to fill.)

ring_pop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-reflection-new-ministry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:46fef9e6-22c3-4cf2-a2e8-1760b3e46c70Post:111a04ba-bdb4-4443-902d-42d835e223ea">Re: NWR A reflection... my new ministry</a>:
[QUOTE]1. Adooooooooorable siggy pic. 2. Thank you so, so much for that. It actually helped me reflect on my own, similar thoughts. I'm currently really involved in liturgical ministry, serving as sacristan and Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion several Sundays a month at an evening mass. My H and I have already started transitioning to a morning mass on my Sundays "off" for personal reasons, but when kids come, I already know I want to be at mass with my family, not running around doing stuff -- at least until they are older and I can take on other projects. Your reflections really helped ease my mind of some of the turmoil I've felt at the prospect of leaving my ministries, especially since I know that I'm good at it, and knowing that people depend on me. (Side note: obviously, I won't stop serving without notice. <strong>It's more that it is hard to get good people to fill the roles and it will be one more slot to fill.</strong>)
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

I know exactly what you mean! That was one big factor in my feelings about music ministry. I was the only pianist at my morning mass for the past 6 or so years, so I felt really nervous about leaving. But someone stepped up at the last minute!

Riss91

Thank you so much for sharing!

newlyseliski

I think it's definitely relevant and thank you for sharing   I really love everyone's openness about this and forsee facing the same difficulty down the road, soon, when my DH and I reach parenthood!  

I miss being involved in a young adult group that I used to help with the leadership, event coordination and marketing for at the parish we were married at... but had to force myself to let go of it once marriage/wedding preparation got too overwhelming to handle.  I think I let my pride get in the way with the more responsibilities that I took on and lost sight of why I had initially gotten involved... to help young adults grow in their faith and in fellowship with other young adults.  I had let my faith life slip quite a bit and the forced "retirement by wedding" has helped me re-prioritize things    My husband and I have now tried doing things together in parishes that are closer to where we live which has been a big change and there's not as much of a peer community, but it's been nice to interact with parishioners of all ages.

shawna127

I'm really glad you shared that! I know how hard it is to give some things up, but it's so true that God never clases one door without opening another. I'm really glad that  you've realized what you need to do, plus I think it's huge, not many parents realize what huge role they have in the way their child turns out and the faith that they have.  Good luck and I know you are going to be and already are a great mother!  Oh and that picture is adorable!! )

doctabroccoli

Thanks for sharing, ringpop!  I understand what you mean about it being hard to focus during mass sometimes when you're involved with music ministry.  Luckily we (the choir) are able to sit in the congregation during the homily at my church.  I fully admit to having zoned out during the readings from time to time, though.  I've been making a conscious effort lately to make sure that I don't do that anymore, although some days it's definitely a struggle!  Music is and has always been the greatest form of prayer for me......  I'm not sure what will happen when we have kids, but I know what will happen is what's meant to be.

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-reflection-new-ministry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:46fef9e6-22c3-4cf2-a2e8-1760b3e46c70Post:b258a584-4e28-458d-974c-cf526dc52825">Re: NWR A reflection... my new ministry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR A reflection... my new ministry : I know exactly what you mean! That was one big factor in my feelings about music ministry. I was the only pianist at my morning mass for the past 6 or so years, so I felt really nervous about leaving. But someone stepped up at the last minute!
Posted by ring_pop[/QUOTE]

I am so glad that you followed my rambling attempts at being articulate on the internet! :) I'm glad to hear that it worked out for you, and I'm sure it will be the same here.

Docta--I zone out sometimes during the readings and have no excuse. I've found that using the misselettes helps me a lot. I am a much more visual than audio learner. I know that the readings are meant to be heard, but the combination of reading and listening works best for me. I usually use it for the first two readings and listen to the Gospel. Maybe you could put copies of the readings within your music to look at during that time.

doctabroccoli

That's a good idea, Bibli.  I don't know how well it would really work logistically for me, because we basically stand to the side of the altar the whole mass except for the homily.  Shuffling even more papers would probably be distracting.....  I am, like you, a more visual learner, though, so I'll have to think about it!