I was sitting in mass yesterday, and I just felt so...discouraged. Whenever I am at mass, I feel so good. Whenever I am in the walls of the church, I feel like I can do no wrong, and be the best person I can be. During each homily, I always think of the ways I want to apply God's teachings to specific areas of my life. But then I leave, and life takes over. It's not like I go out and gravely sin every day. But there's always those little things I do, and each Sunday when I go back to church, I go "ugh, did I really do that this week?" in regards to the more trivial things (picking a fight with FI, responding in a snarky way when someone asks an honest question, swearing, etc). I feel so filled with the Holy Spirit in mass, but as soon as I leave, I feel like it's gone. And it makes me feel like something is missing (which it clearly is). I pray regularly (multiple times a day), but I always get so distracted that my feeling when I pray goes away as soon as I start my next task.
I hope this makes sense. I'm not sure if I'm even looking for advice or prayers or what... Maybe I just needed to vent?