It seems too easy...

bellashauntee

So, I know each diocese, church, and even priest are different. However, I feel like my marriage preparation work was extremely easy. We did our DMPP, took the FOCCUS and went to our Engaged Encounter. We talked with the priest to set the date and he gave us the requirements we needed to fill to get married in the church. We had our one and only counseling session with him yesterday. When I asked when he wanted to meet again, he said we were good and no further meetings were necessary. Am I just thinking too much into this?It's not that I don't feel like we are ready, because we are, but I feel like there should be more to the meetings with the priest. What were all of your experiences like? Thank you for your input in advance ladies.

JCM10

Well assuming he actually looked at your FOCCUS it probably means he saw the results as acceptable. One of my friends went back once and that was it...while another couple of friends are going on session number 7 this week.

ring_pop

Ours was also really easy, probably because the priest already knew us well. I think we only had three meetings - the first just to find out what was involved, the second to set the date and do all the paperwork (including the FOCCUS), and the third just before the wedding to finalize details. We did marriage prep with a couple from the church and I assume that they communicated with the priest when we were done.

It doesn't HAVE to be hard If he says you're good, then you're good!

mica178

Ours wasn't "hard."  We did the EE, met with the priest a couple of times, and met with a lady to review the FOCCUS once.  That was it.  My priest said that there are couples that he needs to see more often and that there are ones that he decides he cannot marry, but he said that he is confident in us.  I think priests look at the FOCCUS test and talk a bit about our spiritual beliefs, if we're compatible and have an understanding of what it means to be married as Christians, they probably cut back on how many sessions they require.

[Deleted User]

Ours was about the same that everyone else has described. We started the process with the paperwork where we currently live. Then we met with the priest a few times, one of which was to discuss the results of our FOCCUS test and then I think we may of had another meeting or two as well. We also did the EE weekend. Then when we went home to get married, we did confession and talked with our home priest a bit more. I do know that both of the priests were in communication with either bc our home priest already knew us quite well whereas the priest that actually did most of the preparing us, did not bc we had just moved to the area.

lburkey21

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Ours was probably the easiest of everyone on this board. We just had to fill out paperwork and go to a 1.5 day pre-cana session. And that's it. We didn't have to do the FOCCUS test or have any additional meetings with our priest. It probably helped that we have a very good relationship with our priest and knew him well before.

Calypso1977

ours was probably the second easiest on this board - intro session with priest, 3 sessions with the priest.  no FOCCUS, no engaged weekend, no anything beyond that. 

IMO, it shoudl be this easy when its 2 practicing catholics who attend mass regularly, have never been married, and have no children with each other or anyone else. 

this is why i feel strongly that pre-cana should be individualized.  it cant be one size fits all.  some folks need (or want) more prep than others. 

clearheavens

Ours was very easy.  We told the priest we wanted to get married in the Church, he had us take a FOCCUS test, and a sponsor couple goes over it and talks about it with us a couple times in their home.  Then they will communicate with the priest we are done.  Then we wed!

Having said that, I did feel I wanted to have more marriage courses to help me and FI fully live a sacramental life.  So I enrolled in Theology of the Body's God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage and a thermo-sympto NFP course.  These were optional but were available to us through the Archdiocese.  I admit, those two courses were more potent to us than the meetings with the sponsor couple.

CrazyMary77

Ours hasn't been that difficult either. We had an intro session with the priest and did the Engaged Encounter, which was just one day. We also have to do the FOCCUS, then perhaps another meeting shortly before the wedding, and confession. The priest is a very good friend of the family's so I'm sure that helps that he knows us very well.

bellashauntee

Thanks for all the input ladies. I just want to make sure that I am taking all the necessary precautions and fully preparing myself for this sacrament.

catarntina

The priest in Ohio said if we did the pre-cana with him, it would have been one 6 hour session, no FOCCUS, etc.   We had to meet with him in person one time, and he said that everything else could be done via email -- this may be because I am planning long distance.

But I didn't do my marriage prep in Ohio, I did it in Colorado. I met with the deacon at least 3 times. I did four 4 hour sessions for marriage prep with other couples, three 2 hour sessions for NFP, plus FOCCUS review, and then we had to meet with a sponsoring couple to go over the results of our FOCCUS review.  Not in any of these sessions did they even discuss marriage being a sacrament.

So it definitely varies from diocese to diocese.  I think the one in Ohio would have been way easier than Colorado by the sounds of it.  And I agree with Calypso whole-heartedly in that it should be more individualized.  The majority of our time was spent discussing interfaith marriages, which I found worthless as FI and I are both Catholic and attend Mass regularly.

mica178

Oh, I should add that my priest did give us reading to do on our own, one was a book on Vatican II, and the other one was a secular book on relationships.  Also, my FI's uncle who will be presiding over the vows, gave us a DVD to watch on Catholic marriage. 

It might be that FI and I are a little older and busier than the usual couple, so evryone is trusting that we can do some of the pre-marital prep footwork by ourselves.

bibliophile2010

I go back and forth about how I feel about Marriage Prep. I think that it is a good thing that the Church is trying to find ways to help couples enter into holy, lifelong marriages as God intends.  

This is especially true, to me, for couples who are getting married in the Church because mom wants them to or because they want the pretty setting, or for the billion other reasons people get married in the Church. The pat answer is that this makes it seem like all the extras are a good thing. I know that's why our bishop has mandated an extremely thorough Marriage Prep process.

At the same time, I feel like the people who are going to get the most out of the classes are those who are solid in their faith to begin with. The others are just jumping through hoops.  Maybe that's just me being cynical. I'm friends with the marriage coordinator at our church and the stories she tells -- along with many stories from priests about how people tend to approach marriage! Wow! It saddens me. Would individualized Marriage Prep really fix things? I honestly don't know. 

I go to a parish with a lot of weddings and live in a Diocese with a heavy-handed approach to Marriage Prep. I'm going into each step with a joyful and prayerful heart, and feel like it's the least I can to do in order to receive the gift of sacramental marriage from the man I love.  

akg0053

Once we started working with the priest (do NOT get me started on the deacon) everything was very easy.

One meeting to go over the FOCCUS, which lasted about 30 minutes, and that was it. We didn't do EE, but our Pre Cana meetings were a breeze as well. 

KatieJL121

Ours was very easy also, but we knew our priest personally.  There was no FOCCUS test or anything extra.  We met with him twice to discuss details of the ceremony and a few brief marriage topics, and we did the one-day pre-cana that was required.  My only regret is that we didn't feel like we got anything beneficial out of pre-cana.  We weren't crazy about our speakers, and we had already discussed amongst ourselves the topics they focused on.  I wish it would have been more individualized so we may have gotten something out of it since we couldn't attend the EE weekend.   

kml21636

Ours seemed very easy as well. We met, and had separated one on ones, set our date and signed up for our Pre-Cana classes. FOCCUS was included in the Pre-Cana and the EE was optionial for us. My FI was baptised Catholic but had to complete the RCIA program to recieve the needed Sacraments. But other than that Father told us we are good until late December/ early January and our wedding is end of April.