Hello all! Advise please?

ivyrose13

Hello ladies, this is my first time posting on the board, so first and foremost, hello!

I'm kind-of-sorta a Catholic bride, long story short, FI and I were both raised Catholic. I was confirmed at 16, he was never confirmed. In our 20's, we both distanced ourselves with the church. This all occurred before we met. We were engaged in February of 2010, and have been planning a secular wedding for Septemeber 2011. Since the beginning of this year, we have both been seriously considering returning to the church. We started attending mass again about two weeks ago, and this past weekend we went to Confession so that we could participate in Communion again. 

This is where things get tricky. During my 10 year absence from the faith, I got married. It was a Catholic ceremony. The marriage was abusive and my ex left me. I'm now, with the priest's blessing, seeking an annulment for my first marriage. The paperwork was sent in  two weeks ago. 

Does anyone have experience with annulments? I know my paperwork needs to be reviewed by the tribunal, but I have no idea what that entails. FI and I have already put a lot of money towards our wedding, and family and friends have already made travel arrangements, so we do not think it will be possible at this time to have a Catholic wedding in September, but perhaps we can have a blessing at a later date so that our marriage is recognized by our faith? I'm not looking for a second wedding ceremony,  our parish priest is aware of our situation, and recognizes that we are an engaged couple. 

Any advice, recommendations, or previous experiences would be greatly appreciated. 

doctabroccoli

No personal experience here, but from what I know,once your annulment goes through, you'll just have to set up a convalidation with your priest.  From what I've heard, it's just a short ceremony with you and your priest.  I'm sure your parents could be there too if they wanted.  Good luck .

shawna127

Hello,
My mother just got an annulment. It does take some paperwork and some time.  I know that you have to have close family and/or friends fill out some paperwork about your previous marriage too. 

My mom got married outside the church because her previous marriage wasn't annulled, but she had our priest bless/validate it once all the work was done and the annulment was final.  So I think it does take some time and work, but it will be worth it...and you can always have your marriage blessed after the wedding.  Hope this helped a little.  Good luck and Congratulations on your upcoming wedding )

bibliophile2010

Welcome home to the Church.

I don't have any personal experience. There are several ladies here who have gone through the annullment process -- both for lack of form (faster) and the longer annullment process (can take months or years) -- who are likely able to help you, provide advice and support etc.

Does your priest know that you are an engaged couple who are actively planning a secular marriage? My concern is that if you get married in September without the annullment having gone through, the Church's stance is that you are committing adultry, which will again remove you from the sacraments, until that impediment is removed. I don't think, from your OP that you want that. If by chance, it has gone through, then a convalidation should be easy enough to obtain, given your situation, if you actively begin Catholic marriage preparation ASAP.

Please, please, please seek out the advice of a good, knowledgable priest who can help you understand the ins and outs of your situation and can provide you the best possible advice. I will keep you in my prayers.

Calypso1977

 FI and I have already put a lot of money towards our wedding, and family and friends have already made travel arrangements, so we do not think it will be possible at this time to have a Catholic wedding in September, but perhaps we can have a blessing at a later date so that our marriage is recognized by our faith?

i personally would wait until you can do things in the church the first time, since it seems to me that you are both pretty serious now about coming back into the faith.  to then knowingly  marry outside the church again would not be wise.  money is not as important as the state of your soul.  also, is it possible that your famlies will  be happy you are both comign back to the faith?  if so, they might not be as upset about changing travel plans as you think.

agapecarrie

Another consideration is that an annulment is not guaranteed. The church always presumes marriages to be valid until proven otherwise, so you are still presumed to be married.  (just an fyi, the church also recognizes that there are times when a civil divorce might be necessary to protect oneself from abuse, etc, but a civil divorce does not undo what God seals).

ootmother2

Hi and welcome!

My annulment took less than six months. However, my diocese is huge and they probably do more annulments than elsewhere, simply because of the great number of people here.

I hope your paperwork gets in before the wedding.

Good luck & happy planning