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Sadness, the silver lining, and thank God for NFP

Hi ladies,

Hope you all have been having a very blessed Lent.

It's cathartic for me to write this, so just bear with me as I ramble . . .

We've lost another pregnancy; I'm still in that strange, "trying to get back to normal, but what is normal?" place.  Part of me thought - hoped - that after the birth of our son (thank you, dear Lord) my body would somehow stop having miscarriages, but of course, we know now that that isn't the case.  It makes our son even more of a unbelievable miracle.

As the subject title says, "Thank God for NFP."  We wanted and planned this baby, and after two negative pregnancy tests, I was able to walk into my doctor's office and say, "I know I'm pregnant.  Yes, I'm still nursing but yes, I know I ovulated.  I'm ten days past my average start date and every one of those days had an elevated temperature.  The tests aren't picking it up. I am telling you that something is wrong."

So they gave me a blood test, and confirmed it.  A few days later, the nurse happened to call me on the morning that my temperature finally dropped, and when I picked up the phone, I started sobbing and I told her that I knew I wasn't holding on to the baby.  I'm no medical professional - far from it - but because of what I've learned from NFP, I knew what was happening in my own body. 

The most important part of all this is that God has blessed us, so richly.  Every time I am pregnant, I become more convinced of the Church's teaching on the sanctity of life.  Every time we've suffered a loss, the Lord has increased my faith somehow, and helped me see His hand in it.  But I am human and frail and far from perfect.  I'm crying as I write this, because selfishly,  I want all five of my children here with me now.  I'm remembering women on this board who, without a doubt, have suffered more than I have.

And you know . . . I promised Him when our son was born that if He never gave us another child, I would remain thankful to Him and eternally grateful for the little one we do have.  I didn't know at the time what His answer would be, but losing another baby has only reminded me that we are called to seek His grace, and be happy and content even in the midst of grief.

We are very, very blessed to know and love Him. May we never take Him for granted.

God bless you all.


Re: Sadness, the silver lining, and thank God for NFP

  • ugh. yuck. So so sorry.

    I wanted to send you a PM about this because I didn't want to distract, but for some reason I don't think I can.
    You probably know this already, but check into progesterone levels.
  • *hugs* Such beautiful testimony...thank you for sharing. Please know that you're in my prayers. I cannot even imagine what you've gone through.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • hugs and prayers! Thank you for sharing! 
  • Wow, Jasmine, you're stronger than I am.  Your post is really inspirational.  I am so sorry for your and your husband's loss, but I know God will continue to watch over you and bless you!

  • I can't imagine how hard it was for you to write that, but thank you for sharing that! I will say a special prayer for you!
  • Thoughts and prayers are going your way! You are being so strong and I admire the strength that you are finding in the Lord!
    Anniversary PersonalMilestone
  • jasmine, im so sorry.  big hugs and many prayers.
  • I'm so sorry, Jasmine. You & your family will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    It is such a simple thing and should have been obvious to me, but when my son died the best thing a priest told me was that as married couples our job is to make souls for Heaven...though it is so hard for us not to have them on earth as long as we'd like, they have already attained their perfect fulfillment. I know you know this, though.

    May Our Lord & Our Lady comfort you in your grief.
    Our little saint, 12/18/2010-12/28/2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm glad you are able to find a silver lining through all of this.

    I second Agape's suggestion about looking into your progesterone levels.  When I first got pregnant, I knew I was pregnant at 11 days post ovulation because my luteal phase normally only lasted 8 days.  I had an appointment at 13 dpo, and I forced them to check my progesterone levels since my luteal phase was typically so short.  Sure enough, my progesterone levels were low and I was able to get on supplements before I miscarried.  Thank God for NFP indeed!  They wouldn't have checked if I hadn't mentioned about my luteal phase.

    When I was 5w, they told me I miscarried.  Based on my last menstrual period, I should have been well over 6w and the ultrasound had no heartbeat.  But because of NFP, I knew I hadn't miscarried and that they just had their dates wrong -- again, I was thanking God I had learned NFP.  I knew exactly when I had ovulated, so I knew I was only 5w pregnant and not 6w.

    NFP has really been a blessing in my life.  Again, I am so sorry for your loss.  I'm glad that you haven't lost faith in the Lord.

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Jasmine, I am so sorry. Many prayers to you and your family. And a HUGE cyber [hug]
  • So sorry for your loss, Jasmine!!  I have several close friends struggling with the same thing right now and we'll definitely keep you in our prayers...  Sending some hugs, too!
  • Jasmine&RajahJasmine&Rajah member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited March 2012
    Thank you. . . all of you, thank you so much for "listening," and for your love and prayers.
  • Postscript . . .   :-)

    Progesterone has been a factor in at least one of the losses, absolutely. (We know that one of our babies had a chromosomal abnormality that caused the miscarriage.)   I was on supplements when I lost our third child, and then, my levels were fine with our son (thank God.)  It's a strange thing for sure.

    So, regular posters and lurkers . . . look into all these things with your doctor.  That's my $.02.  Politely demand answers and get the tests - thyroid too - if you think they are necessary. 

    God bless you.

    And from my heart - thank you, again. 

  • I don't know much about it, but I know friend's of mine who actually got progesterone injections when pregnant--- I'm guessing more intense dose...don't know. 

  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2012
    I was just talking to a friend of mine about progesterone, and we agreed that it seems like *most* women could actually benefit from progesterone (as in, pretty much any 
    "female problem" seems to stem from that!) So why on earth would that be? Why would we all be deficient in it?
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