Not getting married in a church but Im Catholic -HELP!

markjess2014

My fiance and I are both Roman Catholic but we have chosen a destination wedding venue that is very important to us. I hear the catholic church will not recognize our wedding as valid and that upsets me. What am I going to have to do to get it validated within the church? I dont want 2 weddings!! HELP!!

professorscience

You're going to have to talk to a priest, but no, your wedding will not be considered valid if it does not take place within the walls of a church.

There are a few women who were married outside of the church for various reasons and then received convalidations.  This does not have to be an extravagant celebration, but in the eyes of the Church, it is your FIRST wedding.

Your priest will probably advise you that you and FI should continue to live as unmarried people until you can receive your convalidation.

Feel free to stick around and ask more questions.  I'm sorry that you're only now learning this.  My priest actually mentioned the nonvalidity of marriages performed outside of the church this past Sunday and I know it came as a shock to a lot of people!

bibliophile2010

Ditto Prof. I would recommend talking to your priest about your options and then troubleshooting from there. Please stick around, ask questions, etc. And congrats on your engagement!

Calypso1977

My fiance and I are both Roman Catholic but we have chosen a destination wedding venue that is very important to us.

to be blunt you are going to have to decide what is more important to you - your destination location or your faith.

you will never get a dispensation for an outdoor wedding, and for a convalidation, you need a REALLY compelling reason as to why you didnt marry in the church to begin with.  a pretty location isnt going to cut it.

i would seriously reconsider your decision to go destination or at the very least, see if you can work with a catholic church in the area of the destination location.

itzMS

This is a toughie. Can you reconsider, given you have a year to go?

Why not just take your honeymoon to the special destination?

monkeysip

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_not-getting-married-in-a-church-but-im-catholic-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a8da18e3-3c63-4516-b0c7-f86835328c47Post:bfce414c-c07b-4f92-bdaa-de5a2ef23030">Re: Not getting married in a church but Im Catholic -HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are both Roman Catholic but we have chosen a destination wedding venue that is very important to us. to be blunt you are going to have to decide what is more important to you - your destination location or your faith. you will never get a dispensation for an outdoor wedding, and for a convalidation, you need a REALLY compelling reason as to why you didnt marry in the church to begin with.  a pretty location isnt going to cut it. i would seriously reconsider your decision to go destination or at the very least, see if you can work with a catholic church in the area of the destination location.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I second all of this.  Choosing a nice ceremony location is not a good reason to marry outside the Church.  This is a very serious decision.

Convalidations are possible, but a lot of priests will not just give them to any couple who decided not to marry in the Church.  You had to have had a very good reason or be very repentant of your decision to marry outside the Church.

I really suggest you look at a possible catholic church near your destination.  If not, have the wedding at a church at home, then go to the destination for your honeymoon.

Trust me, your wedding day will be special to you and your fiance NO MATTER WHERE IT IS.  You don't have to have a special location.  But if you want to practice your faith, then it should be in a church.

chelseamb11

DItto Monkey... maybe you can find a Catholic Church in the town where you want to go?

But like others said.. you need to focus on what's more important here.. your faith or the location of your wedding?  Good luck!

MelaniaJ

My sister had that problem. She got married in Mexico and found a Catholic church that would marry her there.

We left the resort and drove to a sister resort which hosted the wedding at a small church right on the beach. We then returned to the resort for the reception.  It was quite lovely.


I have also heard that you can get your marriage blessed by a Catholic priest afterwards. Then it will be recognized in the church. A friend of mine did this after having children and returning to her Catholic faith to get them baptized.

There are options!

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_not-getting-married-in-a-church-but-im-catholic-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:a8da18e3-3c63-4516-b0c7-f86835328c47Post:fe1ef0d5-1061-4f52-9dfb-84a457933efa">Re: Not getting married in a church but Im Catholic -HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister had that problem. She got married in Mexico and found a Catholic church that would marry her there. We left the resort and drove to a sister resort which hosted the wedding at a small church right on the beach. We then returned to the resort for the reception.  It was quite lovely. I have also heard that you can get your marriage blessed by a Catholic priest afterwards. Then it will be recognized in the church. A friend of mine did this after having children and returning to her Catholic faith to get them baptized. There are options!
Posted by MelaniaJ[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>One cannot just go have a destination wedding and get it "blessed" afterwards. This is not an option.</div><div>
</div><div>To marry outside the church is a grave decision. It is a public act of turning away from the faith. 

</div>