Christian and Catholic Wedding?

ambeth619

I'm not Catholic but my FI is. We've disscussed every possible avenue of going about our faiths and we're both comfortable in what we already are. He's not practicing and I am very deep into my faith. I'm not sure if this would hinder his chances of later wanting to go to Mass? Or am I just thinking of old world Catholic views? I am in no way opposed to the Catholic faith but I am just comfortable where I am spiritually and I would prefer to stick to it.

Also, how would this affect any future children we might have? I want them to experience both faiths but seeing as I'm not Catholic would that stand in thier way?

I really appreciate any help.

DeannaCW

Catholics are Christians. You mean a Catholic and Protestant wedding.

My FI was also raised Catholic while I'm Presbyterian. You do need to know that if he does not have a Catholic wedding, he will not be considered in good standing with the church and will not be able to take communion. In order to have a Catholic wedding, you would also have to promise to raise your children Catholic. If you have a Protestant wedding, your FI needs to be darned sure that leaving the CC is what he wants to do. There are convalidations, but from what I've heard, those can be tough to get in some circumstances. 

FWIW, we're having a Presby wedding. FI always thought that there were certain things the CC needed to change, and was amazed to realise that every issue he thought needed changing, we already did. And as we also plan to raise children Presby, he is going to be leaving the CC. It isn't a decision to be made lightly though, and you two should definitely have a couple of heart to hearts over this.

agapecarrie

Catholics can marry non-Catholics validly in the church. 

professorscience

PP are right.  In almost every circumstance, a Catholic must marry in a Catholic church in order for his/her marriage to be considered valid.  In very special circumstances, the couple can get a dispensation to marry in a church of a different denomination, but the only circumstance I've heard of where that happens is if a family member of the nonCatholic party is a minister and is going to officiate.

You can also have a member of your church "co-officiate" (I know that is not the proper term, but let's not argue semantics, y'all) during your wedding.  One of my best friends was married recently in a Catholic church, and the groom's father (a Methodist minister) was able to participate in the ceremony.  It was very sweet.

I want to say that I applaud how open you are being!  Catholic weddings are so beautiful, with or without mass, that if you go that route, I don't think you will be disappointed.  As far as the kids question, you will be asked to bring your children up Catholic in your vows.  Obviously this is a question you need to address with your FI BEFORE you meet with a priest to start your marriage prep.  They can be baptized and take CCE (Right?  Sorry guys, not raised Catholic) classes just fine even if you never convert.  My SIL has not converted and both my niece and nephew are growing up Catholic.  SIL even took RCIA so she can better explain things to her kids.

Also, if your FI is nonpracticing, you need to have a conversation very early on about what kind of wedding you want, and how important it is to him to have a valid marriage.  If a Catholic does not follow proper form, he can be barred from the sacraments.  So it would not hinder him from going to mass, but he wouldn't (shouldn't) be able to receive communion.  It comes up a lot that a bride or groom wants one thing, but their more-religious parents want another thing, and we see a lot of people with hurt feelings come through here.  The sooner you decide what role you want religion to play in your marriage, the better.

pretzelgrrl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_christian-and-catholic-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:abb08631-7d52-4686-8cdc-0a11e2a5b4b7Post:8d202533-8d3f-4271-9f91-59ea7fa5cf29">Christian and Catholic Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not Catholic but my FI is. We've disscussed every possible avenue of going about our faiths and we're both comfortable in what we already are. He's not practicing and I am very deep into my faith. I'm not sure if this would hinder his chances of later wanting to go to Mass? Or am I just thinking of old world Catholic views? I am in no way opposed to the Catholic faith but I am just comfortable where I am spiritually and I would prefer to stick to it. Also, how would this affect any future children we might have? I want them to experience both faiths but seeing as I'm not Catholic would that stand in thier way? I really appreciate any help. :)
Posted by ambeth619[/QUOTE]
    It would hinder his chances of taking communion at mass but he would still be able to go to mass meaning he could go to mass but not partake in communion.  You being non-catholic would not stand in the way of raising children catholic...I was raised catholic and my dad was protestant.  We went to chuch with my mom.  If you got married in a catholic church, you do not need to leave your faith...you would just have to tell the priest you are willing to raise your children catholic.  However, it sounds like you will most likely raise your children in your faith since you are more religious and would be the one taking them to where you go.  But, I could be wrong.
    As PP's said you two just have to discuss what is most imprtant to the two of you...being married at your house of worship or in a catholic church and how important it is to him to someday return to going to mass and take communion.
     I am catholic but got married in a Unitarian Church due to special circumstances.  I will most likely baptise my child and raise them Catholic taking them to church even though I cannot receive communion...I would probably go with my mother so she can bring them up to recieve it so it doesn't look strange.   But, that is just my current theory. 

sarahdactyI

Ditto PPs -- you not being Catholic doesn't preclude your children from going to CCE and being raised Catholic. My dad remains a Lutheran to this day, parents were married in a Catholic church, and brother and I went through CCE through confirmation.

I'm not sure if you can "expose them to both" if you do the Catholic wedding and vow to raise your children Catholic, since that is something that you will have to agree to at the ceremony. 

I know that my parents ideally had planned to sort of alternate, but as far as I can remember, my entire family went to the Catholic church. My dad once explained to me that although he did not want to convert, it was more important to him that the whole family remain together, even if he could not take communion and it was not perhaps his first choice, because the point is that the family was there together praising God, and for him that trumped any denominational issue.

Anyway, only your fiancé can tell you how important it is for him to remain in good standing with the Church. I originally wrote out that if he isn't practicing, perhaps it is not very important to him, but of course I realized as soon as I wrote it that actually neither FI nor myself were practicing when we first started dating and throughout the years we have turned back to the church, which I really never would have predicted. At all. Funny how God works!

And Pretzel, couldn't you bring your children up to receive communion, but simply receive a blessing yourself? (...or is that not allowed?)

pretzelgrrl

To Sarahdactyl: I never thought about that...that is also a good idea Thanks