How to ask a godparent??

RoxysMama

So I am pretty sure that I have chosen the Godmother for our daughter (who is still cooking so not a huge rush) but I wanted to ask her in a way other than calling her and saying "hey K did you wanna be L's godmother, oh you do, cool"

We live quite a distance apart so inviting her over for dinner or something like that is not an option.

Any one have cute ideas of how to propose this huge request?  Also when is the right time to ask? Should I wait until she is born? right before she is born?

My older sister asked me to be her baby's godmother when she was 12 weeks pg which I thought was a little insane.

Ideas and comments would be great!

Thanks ladies!!! Happy Sunday!

agapecarrie

The earlier the better, Godparents can start praying for the kids, as well as themselves in order to take on the serious relationship and its responsibilities.

Calypso1977

i dont think its insane at all to select a godparent early.  i pretty much know now who we'd pick, and i am not even pregnant.  its a big deal - its not just a symbolic title/gesture than the modern world has made it out to be.

as for asking, honestly, i dont have any "cute" ideas.  the times ive been asked, its pretty much been a phone call.   same goes for being in someone's wedding party - on the other boards, peopel are always looking for "cute" ways to ask someone to be a bridesmaid.  ive always just been asked by a phone call or over lunch.

ring_pop

I would say that you can ask as soon as you're certain about your choice. For us, we didn't decide for sure until near the end of my pregnancy, so we asked after DS was born.

Can't help much with the "cute" ideas, sorry... we asked the godfather in a phone call (he lives 5 hrs away) and the godmother in person when she came to visit him the first time.

Personally, I liked that we asked after he was born because it seemed more concrete to be able to put a name and face to the question i.e. "Would you be Darian's godparent" as opposed to "Would you be the baby's godparent". But that's just a personal thing.

echo136

I have the sane debate. We know who were going to ask 100% but I dont know when to do it. I guess it depends on when the baptism will be. We're due March 14th and I woul hope to be able to get our baby baptized the next month. So we might ask before our LO is born. I always want creative ways to ask people things but I feel with this we might invite them over to dinner and ask.

RoxysMama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:354e0997-545d-4e38-8f7e-3f6a30f884ee">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]I have the sane debate. We know who were going to ask 100% but I dont know when to do it. I guess it depends on when the baptism will be. We're due March 14th and I woul hope to be able to get our baby baptized the next month. So we might ask before our LO is born. I always want creative ways to ask people things but I feel with this we might invite them over to dinner and ask.
Posted by echo136[/QUOTE]

We are in the same boat. We know who we are going to ask. Just looking for the right time. We're due in December and are looking to Baptize between March & June (we are waiting for personal reasons) I just want to make it a little more special that's all. And as I said the godmother lives too far for dinner. The godfather we will ask in person.  Thanks for your input . H& H 9mos to you

Calypso1977

roxy, why the delay?  a baby should be baptized as soon as possible.

Can.  867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

Edited to provide the canon law reference.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:9ac862ff-a8af-40d9-bfd3-d5e3c1fc68a5">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask a godparent?? : We are in the same boat. We know who we are going to ask. Just looking for the right time. We're due in December and are looking to Baptize between March & June (we are waiting for personal reasons) I just want to make it a little more special that's all. And as I said the godmother lives too far for dinner. The godfather we will ask in person.  Thanks for your input . H& H 9mos to you
Posted by RoxysMama[/QUOTE]

I believe she said that the reasons were personal.

oops, hit post too soon

I asked my best friend and her husband to be godparents to my daughter because they were there when she was born at 27 weeks. They had had a son, almost as premature a year earlier so they came for support.

When the priest arrived, just a little while after her birth, he asked "Are these the godparents?"   I looked at them and they both nodded so I said yes.

When my daughter was a couple months out of NICU, 6 months old, I think, we wanted to have a formal christening in our church.  The pastor there said that she couldn't have my fiends as godparents because she was Protestant and he was Jewish.  I refused to replace them so I asked my brother and sister to also be godparents.  They were quite happy to stand in!

So she grew up with 4 godparents, the best one was her Protestant godmother who never forgot a First Communion, birthday, First Reconciliation, Confirmation, etc.  She passed just three months before the wedding but she did remember her goddaughter with a beautiful gift and a personal letter..

caiti2u

I'm way off from being a parent yet, but I am a god mother. Our friends asked us when they were about 7 months along. They live an hour away, but waited until they came over to our house (the men had plans to go to a baseball game and we ladies were just going to do "girly things"). IMO,  already "being" the god mother made it that much more special when the LO was born. Also, don't forget that the god parents have to take a prep course (unless they already have) and in our case, my church only offered it once a month. So the'll need time to take the class before the babe is born. HTH!

Calypso1977

i just cant imagine what personal reasons would exist that would have one delay receiving this very important sacrament that removes original sin.

catarntina

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:5a53e797-0929-4606-abb4-532eee92fa17">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]i just cant imagine what personal reasons would exist that would have one delay receiving this very important sacrament that removes original sin.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Calypso, I may have to wait to have my baby baptized so that my parents can be present to watch.  I know my mom would be extremely disappointed if should could not be there to see her grandchild's first sacrament.  Since my parents live 1200 miles away, it may be a little tough to get the baby baptized within the first week of them being born.  So I can totally see why PP may have to wait for some reason or another -- It's not like she's waiting years.

Calypso1977

i know for me, personally, i would never delay it.  i honestly dont think my mom would want me to either, even if it meant she'd have to miss it.  my sister and i were both baptized within a month of our births.  you just never know what could happen (SIDS, car accident, etc.).  if one had a grave sin on their soul, you wouldnt delay confession, right?  i guess i dont see this as any different, but obviously some do as ive been to baptisms where the kid is nearly a year old!

RoxysMama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:5a53e797-0929-4606-abb4-532eee92fa17">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]i just cant imagine what personal reasons would exist that would have one delay receiving this very important sacrament that removes original sin.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

My sister does not live in this country. She is also due 6 weeks after I am. For that reason I do not want to baptize our daughter immediately because she would not be able to be there.  It's not like I am waiting forever. She would be 6 months at the very most.

RoxysMama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:437be77f-2b0b-4977-b4b7-16485b27846b">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]i know for me, personally, i would never delay it.  i honestly dont think my mom would want me to either, even if it meant she'd have to miss it.  my sister and i were both baptized within a month of our births.  you just never know what could happen (SIDS, car accident, etc.).  if one had a grave sin on their soul, you wouldnt delay confession, right?  i guess i dont see this as any different, but obviously some do as ive been to baptisms where the kid is nearly a year old!
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Not trying to pick a fight but what "grave sin" could my daughter have possibly commited at less than 6 months old. Other than kicking my bladder I can't imagine any other major offenses. I think that my family would be extremely disappointed if they could not be present at as you stated such an important sacrament.  IMO it would be like getting married without my family there.

Riss91

roxy - there is a difference between actual sin and original sin. I believe doctrine on the souls of unbaptized infants states that they are not guaranteed entrance into heaven. Some catechisms state that they cannot gain entrance into heaven at all, while others state that it is up to God's mercy. Instead of heaven, they are in limbo, where they will be free from suffering, but deprived of the happiness of heaven.

This is why it is important to baptize as early as possible. Here is a direct link to the Canon Law:

Can.  867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.


FWIW, most of the people I know wait months and months to baptize - for similar reasons to yours. It's every parent's decision to make, how much risk they are willing to accept.

HandBanana

My godfather was not present when I was baptized.  He was stationed in Germany so my uncle held me durring.  No biggie.  Doesn't make him any less of my godfather but I do understand that it is your decision.  My bil and sil waited an extra 3 weeks for the god father to return to the states.

I feel horrible because I can not remember if my cousin asked me prior to my god daughter being born, or after.  I am pretty sure it was after because of the timing when she took me to lunch and asked. 

I think waiting depends.  I feel that I would wait more in lines with the Polish superstitious-ness in my mother's family that doesn't throw baby showers until the baby is born.

Karen's MOH

I thought Limbo doesn't 'exist' any more? I don't have documentation, but I believe I remember hearing they changed that so unbaptized babies just go to purgatory temporarily, not limbo. 

In any case, I understand there are tons of reasons to wait, and my godson was baptized when he was just about 4 months old-- my sister didn't want to do it too early, when she was so, so exhausted and didn't want to expose him to tons of germs right away, but mostly it was the first time his godfather and I could both be there. 

I would say ask before the baby is born, in any case. People may have to make preparations, take a class, get a note from their parish, etc. For me, I had moved somewhat recently and wasn't a registered parishoner at my parish yet, so it gave me a few months to get that all together. 

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:a320bf5d-e217-4b33-b7fc-8882454e4e12">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask a godparent?? : Not trying to pick a fight but what "grave sin" could my daughter have possibly commited at less than 6 months old. Other than kicking my bladder I can't imagine any other major offenses. I think that my family would be extremely disappointed if they could not be present at as you stated such an important sacrament.  IMO it would be like getting married without my family there.
Posted by RoxysMama[/QUOTE]

The times I was asked to be a godparent, it was usually by phone or once it was in the hospital after then baby was born.  I've never had to have any special class to be a godmother.

I know that M waited 4 months with each boy so that they could have the important immunizations that are give in the first three months.  Hep B is given at birth with a follow up one month later.  At 2 months, they get Rotavirus, DTapP, Hae. Influenzae, Pneumonococcal and inactive poliovirus.

As most baptisms in our family are pretty large affairs, i agree with her that it would be foolish to expose an infant to so many people without these first.  Why take a chance on this?

Calypso1977

Roxy, they can do proxies for baptism.  while i am the godparent to all of my nieces and nephews, i was only present at 1 of the 4 baptisms.  they utilized proxies that day, but i am the offical godparent on record.   with a young infant herself, your sister still might not be able to travel.  that's something to think about/consider.  not everyone knows that proxies are an available option.

as Riss said, the risk you are wiling to take is a personal choice.  but the church does recommend this be done as soon as possible.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ask-godparent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:ae68b3cc-1560-4f7b-a12d-6a7ee8ca7893Post:a320bf5d-e217-4b33-b7fc-8882454e4e12">Re: How to ask a godparent??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to ask a godparent?? : Not trying to pick a fight but what "grave sin" could my daughter have possibly commited at less than 6 months old. Other than kicking my bladder I can't imagine any other major offenses. I think that my family would be extremely disappointed if they could not be present at as you stated such an important sacrament.  IMO it would be like getting married without my family there.
Posted by RoxysMama[/QUOTE]

I can't imagine missing my daugher's children's christenings or one where I was the godmother.

There is also a celebration after the christening, welcoming the child into the Church.  I wouldn't want to miss that either