Ok, so this has been bothering me for a while and I need some advice.
I gotta give you the background and details first, so bear with me.
FI and I converted to Catholicism and were confirmed in a parish really close to us a little over 2 years ago. This parish (let's call it parish #1) was in a convenient location, we liked the priest a lot, and the music and stuff seemed okay.
Well, for a long time now we feel less and less comfortable there. The music has becoming increasingly modern to us (and I'm not starting some debate over whether modern music is okay... I'm not saying it's "wrong", but it's just not us and we're very distracted by it). The priest we liked left, and the new priest is unreliable and a little rude (he always cuts me off during confession before I'm finished confessing... and trust me, I confess all my sins in like 45 seconds at the most. He gives me 15 seconds before he absolves me and gives me no counsel). I'm not saying we hate the church or that it's terrible, but we just feel sometimes like it's not very reverent and it doesn't help us grow.
Ok... so... we've been trying to decide on another parish. There's another parish (parish #2) real close to FI (we don't live together). FI likes it, but doesn't necessarily love it. The priests are nice and helpful. The music is slightly more traditional, but still on the contemporary side.
BUT FI and I are really in love with a church downtown (parish #3). It is very traditional, has altar rails and the eucharist is distributed by the priest using intinction. We think the priest is very committed and gives good homilies. It feels more "us" so to speak, and it is where we want to get married, but the parish is about 45 minutes away.
I'm already a member at parish #1 because I signed up during RCIA, but FI never did just because he's lazy and forgot. But we're both a point where we want to really commit to a parish and support it with not just our money but our time. So really, we have three options.
1. We becomes members at parish #2 and just make occasional visits to parish #3. The benefit is that it is closer and easier to volunteer at. The downside is that it's not necessarily our favorite.
2. We become members at parish #3 and just make occasional visits to parish #2 if we can't make the long drive. We find a way to volunteer for the church that is doable (like maybe a once a month activity). Parish #3 is a very small parish, so maybe it would help them to have more committed members. But we wouldn't be able to commit as much as we would with a close parish.
3. FI becomes a member at parish #2 and I become a member at parish #3. We split our time and money between both. I'm thinking this isn't really a good option at all and that a soon-to-be-married couple should belong to the same one.
FI seems somewhat ambivalent. He really loves parish #3 like I do, but I think it doesn't make a huge difference to him.
Sorry this is so long. Any advice? Any factors I'm not considering? How did you choose your parish?