Catholic Weddings

Money for priest???

My mother just told me that after the wedding, someone (usually the best man) is supposed to give an envelope containing money  to the priest.  We've already paid for the church.  Have any of you heard of this?  Do you know what the going rate is for "priest money"  for a small wedding without a mass?

Re: Money for priest???

  • It is nice.  You might check with the church to see if the fee included the priest's fee, but usually what you pay for the church covers the use of the facilities for the day and little else.  We paid our priest $150, had him over for dinner, and we're ordering several pictures from the day for him.
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  • I think this is a carryover from the "old days" before there was a set fee associated with the services.  At my first wedding ___ years ago, the best man did present the priest with money for the priest, servers and organist.  This time in addition to the set fee we sent him a thank you note with a gift card to a local restaurant.
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  • Also, there was no "slipping an envelope" deal.  We just wrote a check and gave it to the church coordinator at our rehearsal.
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  • We personally gave him a thank you note with a check (I think it was for $100, but it might have been more) after the rehearsal. Our parish encourages couples to get all of the paying (at least church-related) out of the way at or before the rehearsal so that no one needs to worry about it at the wedding.

    I would ask about what is customary in your area. Talk to the wedding coordinator, secretary, musician, other couples who have been married at your parish, etc. to get a better idea of when and how much to give.
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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski
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    edited March 2012
    We did a thank you note, requested a Mass for, gave a $25 gift card and $75 donation on behalf of both the priest and deacon who presided at our wedding.  As bibliophile recommended, the wedding coordinator and secretary probably know what is typically done or could offer recommendations!  We talked to the secretary and asked what she recommended for them as gifts as well as what their favorite charities were.

    We directly mailed the priest and deacon's thank you card and gift to them at the rectory, but our personal attendant passed out the rest of the thank you notes/gifts (wedding coordinator, organist, ushers, set-up helpers, etc) for us on the wedding day itself.
  • We were told that if the priest was given any money, it usually ends up going to the church, but if you want to do a "thanks for helping with our ceremony and all the marriage prep" then give them a gift/giftcard.
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  • A priest should be given an offering. Depending on the structure of the budgeting of the church, sometimes this is their only spending money. It could also go to the "rectory fund" which basically goes towards their boarding.  


  • we gave our priest $100 on top of the "required" fees.

    you really should give him something extra.
  • When we tried to give our priest the $100 he had originally said was his "fee", he refused. I had heard that many times priests don't keep money for themselves when they are given a gift so we got him a gift card to a nearby restaurant we knew he liked (A German restaurant that was celebrating Oktoberfest... great for the person who loves his beer :) )
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  • I think we gave our priest 100 or $200 (cant remember) to his favorite gourmet grocery store. (He's the kind of priest who won't accept money.)
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  • In Response to Re: Money for priest???:
    A priest should be given an offering. Depending on the structure of the budgeting of the church, sometimes this is their only spending money. It could also go to the "rectory fund" which basically goes towards their boarding.  
    Posted by agapecarrie
    Kinda made me LOL as I pictured our Priest with is $3,600 watch and Mercedes...But don't worry, I already budgeted $ for our Deacon which we will give along with a thank you note and invitation to our RD.
    ~ES~
  • The priest refused a gratuity.  The deacon, uncle of the bride, was given a silver picture frame with a picture of the B&G for his collecction.  He's married most of the next generation and his library is full of photographs of the couples
  • For those of you that donated an amount - We'd like to give $150. Do we make the check out to the priest or to the church? Does the money then go to the church?
  • In Response to Re: Money for priest???:
    For those of you that donated an amount - We'd like to give $150. Do we make the check out to the priest or to the church? Does the money then go to the church?
    Posted by crb2013
    If you are already paying the church, then I would make it out to the priest. If you are not paying the church anything, then I would make it out to the church, but I would also give something directly to the priest, like a gift card.
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  • In Response to Re: Money for priest???:
    In Response to Re: Money for priest??? : Kinda made me LOL as I pictured our Priest with is $3,600 watch and Mercedes...But don't worry, I already budgeted $ for our Deacon which we will give along with a thank you note and invitation to our RD.
    Posted by Eliz77
    haha, that priest my friend married has better jewelery than either one of us!  But he did buy the Mercedes for her.

    Such a nice guy  0_0
  • My Fianc and I are still trying to see if it's a donation or a fee for our priest..we haven't been able to get in touch with him recently.The church fee is already 600.00 and were on a budget so we need to know soon.
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