First Meet Question

getaclue44

So to give some background knowledge-my precana is being handled by my dad's best friend--the Msgr. who is marrying us.  With that said he is my dad's best friend and has known me since I was in the 7th grade.

I spoke to him today to schedule our first meeting.  My FI and I are meeting with him in a few weeks.  My question is--what can I expect to take place at this meeting?  

Tami87

At my first meeting we filled out basic paper work (address, religious affiliations, years of Catholic education, etc) and set the date. We also took the FOCCUS inventroy which is just a bunch of statements that you select either agree, disagree, or unsure. It is basically to see if you and your FI are on the same page about various issues, or to identify areas you still need to talk about. We went over our results at a later meeting and just talked about any questions that we had answered differently. Our Priest also gave us the together for life book to start picking out our readings and planning the mass.

ElisabethJoanne

At our first meeting, we discussed the 2 dispensations we want, then filled out Form A, which included our names, baptismal dates, addresses, phone numbers, e-mail addresses, dates of birth, and places of birth. Then our parents' names, addresses, and phone numbers. We were also asked the religions of ourselves and each of our parents. The Priest sent us a link via e-mail to take the FOCCUS test at home.

Oh! also when we met and when we got engaged.

The Priest was unconcerned about precise dates. Maybe if we said we'd only known each other 3 months or something, there would have been deeper discussion, but when I said we got engaged on a "teen" Wednesday last July (13th? 15th? - I can't remember), "mid-July" was fine for the form, as far as he was concerned.

Oh! Oh! also if we were entering the marriage of our own free will without constraint or compulsion, or whatever the formula is. I was surprised he didn't explain this at all. I joked about wanting a Canon Lawyer to represent me. And if we'd been married before.

I got the impression that Form A and a Form B, which we didn't get to, were required for all marriages to be registered in the Diocese.

Personal weirdness: The only hard question (besides the dates) was my mother's first name. Even professionally, she uses a nickname. She was baptized as an adult, and I don't know what's on her baptismal certificate. I can't tell you what I told the Priest, either. Not sure how it could possibly matter.

We were not asked about religious instruction. If I had an opening to explain that while I'm not Roman Catholic I attended the 3rd most Roman Catholic college in the US, and so took a full 8 semesters of college-level Roman Catholic theology, it would have been less awkward and more interesting.

bibliophile2010

I would just go in with an open mind/heart. If he required anything else, I'm sure he would have said so. Ours was just like others have said, basic info, background, why we want to get married in the Church, etc. We also went step-by-step through what the Marriage Prep process would entail. We got to look at the calendar and since the time we were married was free and likely to remain so (Phoenix in July is not popular for weddings), we didn't set a date and were just told to email the date we decided on.

chelseamb11

Yeah generally it's just paperwork and him being sure you are able to legally marry in the church and whatnot.  It's sometimes a chance for him to get to know you a little better but it sounds like that isn't necessary.

getaclue44

Thanks for the information.  Yeah, he knows me pretty well.  I think he met me 20 years ago so he is like an uncle at this point.  He has also spent holidays and other family parties with my FI and I. 

I am hoping that it will go smoothly!

Thanks again.