ceremony coordinator - Kinda long

lisa89760

Hi Ladies!  Did any of you have issues with the ceremony coordinator or priests putting rules on things you just didn't understand?

Background info: the priest marrying us is my uncle so I've been to a ton of weddings he has done for my cousins and i'm really excited.  I talked to the ceremony coordinator and all of a sudden there were all these rules that had nothing to do with the actual ceremony part that I didn't understand.  My uncle is out of town until 2 weekends from now so I am going to talk to him but in the meantime maybe you guys can provide me with some insight.

No one is allowed to walk down the aisle alone - I wanted the GM to be at the alter with my FI and have them meet the BM's half way up the aisle.  I have an uneven number and don't like the look of doubling up.  Obviously this isn't a big deal I just don't get it.

She told me I can only pick readings out of the book she gave us...but it doesn't even include some of the most popular readings (i.e 1 Corintians 13:4 love is patient, love is kind is not in there) I wanted to look through the bible and see what readings really reflected my FI and I. 

There were some other little petty things that were more the church rules that didn't have to do with the actual ceremony.

So did any of you run into similar issues? or are these rules for the Catholic ceremony? Thanks!

catarntina

My church was pretty lax, but Father did tell us how our WP needed to walk down the aisle.  It wasn't up for debate.  He's been marrying people longer than I've been alive, so I didn't complain!

As far as the readings go, I would think that if there is a reading you really want (IE, Corinthians 13), then just ask for it.  It's very appropiate for a wedding, and if the priest says no, then ask why.  He may have a very valid reason for not wanting that read.

The only other rules that were imposed were that we needed to be in and out of the church at a certain time.  He had a funeral right before the wedding, and Saturday evening Mass right after.

I think that my priest is pretty laid back compared to some of the stories I hear on here though.

Calypso1977

some rules i defintiely understand, like attire, timing, etc.

but no one walking alone?  that seems odd.  and as far as readings go, i dont really understand why only certain bible verses are allowed.  i would think anything from the bible would be ok.

but, im sure taht there are valid, legiitimate reasons behind all of the rules.

ootmother2

The priest was very lenient about allowing secular music (sung and played on instruments) at the wedding.

I've never heard about not walking the aisle alone but  all priests have different rules.  You could ask if this is really important.

Ask the priest if these things really bother you that much.  The coordinator doesn't have the final say, he does

lisa89760

Thanks!! I'm hoping that since I'm family I can explain to my uncle why I want these things and I'll see what he says. 

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ceremony-coordinator-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:dbc5098a-865c-44df-a4ae-1051e44a10ddPost:d5272129-88de-44f8-a9f4-dbbb0b44effe">Re: ceremony coordinator - Kinda long</a>:
[QUOTE] You could ask if this is really important. Ask the priest if these things really bother you that much.  The coordinator doesn't have the final say, he does
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>I had a very concrete coordinator at my church, so I ended up going over her head to ask the priest about things.  The biggest things were the processional and wedding readings.  My priest didn't care how we processed, so long as everyone ended up on the correct end of the church.  And he agreed that we could have any reading in the Bible we chose, although some passages are probably more appropriate than others.</div>

agapecarrie

Readings: Readings are supposed to be read from a lectionary, not a bible. The whole bible is not in the lectionary, so some places may not allow random readings in. however, Corinthians is in the lectionary, so I don't know why that isn't allowed.

Procession: its an odd way to phrase the rule, but perhaps they are trying to keep to the legitimate purpose of the procession, everyone having a part in the sacrament in some way processes. Having the men just standing in the front and the women walk by themselves can lead to the "pageantry" atmosphere rather than a true liturgical procession.

It all depends on how the rule was expressed and if it was a spur of the moment conversation too.

SaraAndrew2010

I would talk to your uncle when he gets back.  I'm sure the ceremony coordinator means well, but she may be interpretting things that are actually just customs as firm rules.  I know with our coordinator there were a few things that she was used to doing a certain way. She was hesitant to give us permission to modify things without us asking the priest, since she didn't want to get in trouble with the pastor for doing something wrong.

[Deleted User]

Our priest and wedding coordinator were very strict and conservative. If we had a question about something, we asked the coordinator and if she did not know the answer she asked Father and got back to us.

Our church provided us with a huge (I think it was like 30 pgs) wedding packet that had all of the rules in it which was really clear. Like I said, if there was something we were not sure of, we just asked and waited for the answer. Nearly everything was in there, so it made it really clear for us when we were choosing our readings, mass settings, etc.

bibliophile2010

I think it is perfectly legitimate to ask about the things you don't understand. I would be really respectful and adult about it (rather than sounding like a whiny toddler). Listen to their answers and be respectful of their responses.