NFP class question

amarch

I've been researcing NFP recently and my fiance and I are considering signing up for a class with Couple to Couple League.  I was wondering, though, how into detail (with graphics of fluid, etc), the class goes...because that type of stuff grosses my fiance out.  So would I be better off just buying us a book to learn from or is the class's comfort-level ok for guys too??  Thanks!

Calypso1977

i havent done a class, so i cannot comment.  however, properly interpreting the fluids is critical to the effectiveness of the method, so i would imagine it gets pretty involved.

you may be able to attend the class on your own, and then share the pertinent details with your FI.

for example, my H doenst like to know the details either, but he's good about inquiring as to whehter i rembered to take my temp, and i let him know when it is "safe" for us to have sex.  for example, i'll say, "if my temp is up again tomorrow, we'll be good to go until my next period!".  for him, that's enough to know.  i share with him my charts from time to time so he can see the patterns, etc.

FWIW, i self-taught myself the method using Taking Charge of your Fertility.  i asked a lot of questions on the Knot, and Ovusoft.com  has message boards too.  It may have taken me longer to learn, but i honestly didnt have the time or money to devote to a class.  10 months in, and its worked great, and no scares.

amarch

Thanks for the response.  I was also wondering, in general, how involved the guy is in most cases, so it was interesting to read about your experience.  Obviously if we use NFP (which I'm hoping we will!), my fiance will be involved as far as knowing how it works and us communicating regularly about how "safe" it is at any given time (similar to the example you gave:)).  But in reading about the classes, it sounded like most FIs/Hs get more involved than that. 

Anyone go to the class with their FI and have any feedback about that?  On the one hand, I don't want to subject him to anything that would make him uncomfortable...but another factor is that he is still a little nervous about trusting how effective NFP is, so it may help him to hear from the teaching couple in person.

meltoine

Most organizations require that your FI attend class with you. They don't get terribly into detail about cervical fluid, but they may show a couple of photos. But, any book you could buy has the same photos in it. 

My FI is totally involved in the whole process. He takes my temp every morning and we chart my CF together every night. 

GulfCoaster

I took a CCLI class (about 5 years ago, before the "remodeling" of the book).  It didn't go into much more detail than the book did about CM, but it does give a lot of help with charting and interpretation.  As Meltoine said, there are photos in the book of CM, too.  CCLI encourages both spouses being involved in NFP, and I think this makes a lot of sense -- both partners are interested in sex, so why should NFP be solely the responsibility of the woman? 

One thing our teaching couple suggested was having your husband take your temperature every morning, and record it in the chart.  My DH is very diligent about taking and recording my temperatures each morning, though not the past couple weeks since he's been on night shift.  Although he still doesn't entirely understand the different symbols I use to chart CM, he knows what the "P" (peak day) means, and what the rules are for determining the start of phase 3 (temp shift cross-checked by CM drying up).

I know it's not always comfortable to discuss CM, but the classes really were so helpful to me in learning NFP.  And if your FI is still unsure about whether NFP is effective, I doubt learning from a book will provide him enough reassurance, KWIM?

amarch

My FI and I talked about it again yesterday, and he decided to take the class with me.  He felt the gross-factor was outweighed by his need to hear about NFP from "real live people" and for us to make the decision together.  Which is how I was hoping he would feel after he had time to think about it:)  So I'm signing us up for the class.

I really appreciate the responses - this board is really helpful:)

Calypso1977

i think you will find the method very easy to use.  i really wish i had started it sooner.

i guess i'm in the minority as i feel i do 100% of the "work" as far as tracking goes, etc.  but i guess i dont see it any different than if i was on the pill, iud, patch, etc. - that would still be primarily me.  even then, the "work" involved is so little.  just having my H's buy in and support was enough for me.  btu everyone's different.

lauraNkieran

I haven't attended any of the classes but learned alot from Taking Charge of your Fertility.  I also use fertility friend dot com - they have the same information as the book but break it down into smaller sections so its not as overwhelming.

amarch

Calypso - I sort of feel the same way as you about the guy's participation.  I have zero problem with being the one to track/take care of it, as long as FI is supportive and in total agreement about whatever method we use.  The idea of discussing CM with him doesn't sound very romantic to me...

The reason I was sort of hoping he would be up for going to the class is that he is NOT is total agreement with me yet bc he's worried NFP won't be effective.  We both definitely want kids, but we'd like to be more financially stable first, so preventing is important to us.  That said, he's taking my interest in NFP seriously and is open to discussing it/researching it with me.  So hopefully the class will help!

Calypso1977

i will admit, i was somewhat skeptical at first, but once you understand how it and your body works, it becomes so crystal clear, and really its a matter of self control. 

we chose to abstain for our entire engagement for a variety of reasons.  i think this ultimately helped us in the long run with using NFP/FAM because after going 7 months withouth nookie, going 10 days seems like nothing. 

Lindze75

I know I'm a little late on this but thought I'd share my experience.  FI and I both took the NFP class.  We were required to take the intro class and then couples that would like to adopt the planning method can sign up for 8 more sessions that are more detailed and personalized.
We went after work and I had no idea what to expect.  I thought it would all be charting.  The class was small and the instructor was a nurse.  She was very detailed and the photos in my opinion were very graphic.  I have trouble with graphic medical information and I have a vasovagal response often in doctor's appointments (my blood pressure drops, I go into a cold sweat and pass out or vomit).  I started not feeling well early on with talk of cervical fluid and it's consistency.  I eventually had to leave the room and excuse myself.  I blacked out in the bathroom and sat out for 20 minutes or so.  When I went back in they were done with the graphic stuff and doing the charting but it was WAY too much for me to handle.
The instructor went into her cervical mucus and there were photos of cervixes opening and closing with the mucus coming out.  I felt that for an intro the detail was not necessary.  Of course if you are going to use the method you need this into but that could be tackled in one of the 8 follow up appointments.  FI however was totally fine and not grossed out!

agapecarrie

I've been charting for 8 years for my health- I've discovered problems (and fixed them) that I would not have without the charting. In my opinion, every woman should be charting- this is basic hygeine and knowledge of your own body. Having to deal with having a period once a month, and the "messiness" of sex is much more "gross" than simple basic observations of one's own body. I couldn't imagine not knowing what I know now from these observations. It's not worse than blowing your nose. This is how God made us to create human life.